Penelope311 Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 He is an amazing man. Dedicated father, nice, fun, successful, smart etc. We were friends for years before I fell deeply in love with him. Almost as soon as I allowed myself to be sexual with him he went cold. I was devastated and out of fear, I even tried to keep him sexually hostage just to keep him in my life. The past year was a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. it broke me emotionally, and he became even more distant. I told him I could not have sex with him unless I was in a committed relationship because it hurts me to much. He says he never meant to hurt me and he does not want to hurt me. He had been married twice before. I believe that two times he had been so in love that he married these woman and both times it went bad. I have heard from his family that he was beat down both times and resentful towards the difficulties over custody. He is a huge family man having had his own father leave his mother when he was young. She brought him and his three siblings up alone, and it clearly effected him. I love this man so much for his good qualities. I love his kids, his family, and want to be with him. He has told me that he cares for me but that he just can't. He says we would be good together and I know we are... but he just freezes. At one point I stopped talking to him for a few months because I wanted to protect my heart. During this time he started seeing some girl that I know he was not really interested in. It was a short fling and I guess he could not commit to her either or any of the women he has dated since his last marriage? It all confused me? Well anyhow, now we are hanging out again and we don't have sex, but some good times and he does keep me at a distance. Although I do give him massages and we get really close to sex I stop before it goes to far. I am confused because one side thinks he does want to be with me but afraid and the other side thinks he is just playing me. Is it just an ego stroke thing? I am independent, kind, and a go getter. People seem to like me, and say I am very beautiful, and fun to be around. Guys have said that I am the full package. So, I keep thinking maybe he will give more of himself to me? That he will want to settle down at least a little more with me? I know... I know I should want a full healthy relationship. Am I settling? Am I? I feel so much love for this man. I want him to be happy no matter what. How can I keep this man to me? He has all freedom and I do not have sex with him anymore? Any suggestions or thoughts. I want more, is there a way?
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