Ladyfuzz Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 After three months of no talking, we have been talking again for about a month and getting on fantastic, we have talked about our feelings, and he told me he still had feelings for me, and i told him i still had feelings for him, i opened up for the first time and told him how i felt about everything, i allowed him in again. I thought we were trying again, i thought we were on the road to getting back together, i just found out tonight, the reason he said i needed to give him time to think about things was because his friend was setting him up with someone, now he's gone off with her, and im left alone and hurt again. How do you cope with that? Why was i stupid enough to take a step back?
stopthemadness Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 After three months of no talking, we have been talking again for about a month and getting on fantastic, we have talked about our feelings, and he told me he still had feelings for me, and i told him i still had feelings for him, i opened up for the first time and told him how i felt about everything, i allowed him in again. I thought we were trying again, i thought we were on the road to getting back together, i just found out tonight, the reason he said i needed to give him time to think about things was because his friend was setting him up with someone, now he's gone off with her, and im left alone and hurt again. How do you cope with that? Why was i stupid enough to take a step back? As my therapist would say dont beat your self up for smthing you've already done. You cant undo it. Just dont do it again. Look you were sad and lonely.So while he was thinking one thing, you were thinking another. You already know this but am gona say it anyway k? This guy doent care about you and he was just using you as a back up. But now that youre on to his games!! You call GAME OVER!! Go total No Contact on him. Change numbers, emails the whole nine. I did that and felt great. It was like it gave me control of smthing when I felt like I had control of nothing. Take care of you. Reach out to family and friends and reconect. Hang in there it gets better. keep posting it helps and theres a chat line on here too check it out. It helped me ALOT in first stages of my breakup. Good luck........
smudge21 Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 We're weak and when we're like this it's easy to slip like you have. Don't beat yourself up over it, just get back on the no contact train and carry on healing. Any more contact from him and ignore it, you know the truth now at least. Yeah, in fact see it that way - that this little slip was a chance for you to see the whole truth, and now you have. So in theory it wasn't a waste, it was helpful. You can continue to heal knowing that this guy wasn't worthy of your affection, and that you can do much much better.
Thieves Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 We're weak and when we're like this it's easy to slip like you have. Don't beat yourself up over it, just get back on the no contact train and carry on healing. Any more contact from him and ignore it, you know the truth now at least. Yeah, in fact see it that way - that this little slip was a chance for you to see the whole truth, and now you have. So in theory it wasn't a waste, it was helpful. You can continue to heal knowing that this guy wasn't worthy of your affection, and that you can do much much better. I agree with this. Even though this whole experience turned out sour for you, at least you know now FOR SURE that this guy is not the one for you. Or else, he wouldn't be doing this. Think of it like that. Without even knowing it, he just proved himself to be an ass to you (again). Like people have been saying above, don't beat yourself up over this too much. Just look back on the situation, give yourself a little slap on the hand, and try to keep moving forward. Recognize the signs of a person who's sincere vs. stringing you along for future use. It's the only thing you can do right now. What else could you do? One day he'll come to realize that what he did was wrong to string you along like that, and even if he doesn't, the same thing is BOUND to happen to him eventually, and then he'll learn the consequences of what he's done in the past. It happens to the best of us. You're no fool, Ladyfuzz, just vulnerable and forgiving. Two very good qualities in a person, just they came out at the wrong time with the wrong person.
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