Centaurus Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 I have just awakened from the end of a ten year marriage, which like a time capsule, transported me from my mid-twenties to the present day. I emerged from my dazed time travel like state to realize that I am surrounded by single 30 year old women, and from what I remember from being in my early twenties and dating, they bare some resemblance to women in their mid twenties, but seem a great deal more cautious about mate selection. Not only that, but most of them have a sort of phone book sized "deal breaker list", which is something that I don't quite remember from my early days. How should this time traveler be informed as to what to expect? What is it about women that I need to know in their 30's? Excuse my ignorance, but I'm finding that I don't fully understand what's going on around me in my new found dating world. I'm lost in a bewildering array of strange signals, tests, perfect mate check lists, social pressures, etc. Or is dating in your 30's just harder than in your 20's because of all the new standards set by us all in our early years? I guess time reminds us all that we need to get moving to have kids and settle down, so you'd think dating in your 30's would be easier?
iris219 Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Dating is SO much harder for me as a woman in her early thirties because the dating pool is MUCH smaller. Most men my age are married or in relationships and many of the ones who aren’t, well, there are good reasons for it. One aspect of dating that is very different now is that I’m not dating just to date and have fun. What was once considered having fun is now considered wasting time. I’m looking for a LTR that leads to marriage and if I meet someone who wouldn’t work in a LTR, I move on. Unfortunately, I don't meet many single men my age who are interested in marriage. I don't have list of dealbreakers. If I had a list, I would never date . I do, however, have a much better idea of what I want in a mate. Good luck!
Author Centaurus Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 Yes, that's an interesting point, that what was once 'fun' now is simply time wasting. That to me is actually a potential big missing piece to to relationship puzzle, because to me 'fun' is the reason children play. By this they discover boundaries either physical, emotional, and personal via exploration. How can this step be skipped? I am experiencing exactly what you said, and it's frustrating. However, if the guy isn't afraid of a LTR, his past should reveal that. Track record speaks volumes. I suspect that if the guy or gal has a track record of brief and stormy relationships, maybe that should be the cut off point, or deal breaker? *IF* the guy or gal has a good track record, perhaps the 'fun' or exploration stage should be embraced?
alphamale Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Or is dating in your 30's just harder than in your 20's because of all the new standards set by us all in our early years? I guess time reminds us all that we need to get moving to have kids and settle down, so you'd think dating in your 30's would be easier? as we age most of us collect more emotional baggage and become more risk-averse
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