horseaustin Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 My boyfriend came home one day last month and packed up his stuff, telling me he needed space. He said he wanted to break up and went to stay with a friend. Before this he told everyone how in love he was with me and he truly was my best friend and I believe my soulmate. Since then, we've kept in contact, went out for dinner, and went out with some friend..he also slept over a few times. Two days ago, I went to meet up with him hoping to reconcile and he said we're on two different pages. I still like him and want to try to work things out and he does NOT ever want to be in a relationship with me again. I said fine, I'll get over it. He made it a HUGE deal about finally "being able to change his facebook status". Now two days later, we've both been on facebook and changed our profile pictures to just ourselves. He is still listed as "in a relationship" with me. I asked him about it yesterday, and he said he just didn't change it yet...I think this is weird. I want to get back together with him more than anything. I just don't want this to be false hope...do you think this means he may be having second thoughts? I'm so confused.
The_Good_Me Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Hi Horseaustin Can't blame you for being confused as the messages he's sending out are very mixed! If he truly wants it to be over, he should have no problem changing his facebook, especially seen as he's made such a big deal out of it. It sounds like he is probably very confused himself and may not even know why he's feeling what he is. I think all you can do at the moment is properly drop off his radar. Stop him from coming over and hanging out and stop hanging out with him. He says he wants to remain friends but you want to reconcile and all that does is end up hurting the dumpee. At the moment he has far too much access to you and it isn't giving him a chance to miss you. Tell him that only being friends with him isn't enough for you, it's causing you pain and because of this, you need to initiate NC to get over the breakup. If he cares about you, he should respect that. I'm sure you already know this but NC isn't a method to get them to come back. You need to go NC to heal yourself. Sometimes NC does bring people back when they do start to miss the dumpee and realise what they lose but it is very rare. You can't go into NC hoping that they'll come back as that only stops you from healing. You need to accept the break up and look after yourself now. Whatever happens next, happens next, just don't expect anything to happen. If he comes back, you'll be in the best possible position you can be in at that point thanks to NC and if he doesn't, then you've made headway into healing and moving on. NC is hard but it is vital you keep it going! good luck
antinko Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Facebook is such a complication in an already complicated life.
citrusdrop1688 Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 You need to go based on what he said. He said he NEVER WANTS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU AGAIN. Thats pretty clear. You should defriend him and go no contact until such a time (that may never come) where he comes to you and says something that conflicts his previous statement, and even then you would need to make him prove he was serious and committed, not just blindly rush back to him.
Surf Rider Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 Facebook is such a complication in an already complicated life. Agreed. Facebook is stupid.
Art_Critic Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 Why not remove the relationship status for him.. he broke up with you, he told you he doesn't want a relationship and he is leaving his status up to keep you on a rope.. Remove the status yourself.. it takes 2 on FB to be in a relationship and you have the power to remove it.
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