joe123 Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 (edited) Basically i was with my ex for 9 months and the other day we broke up she ended it because she didnt want a relationship at this time in her life anyways im really struggling to get over her i know its only been a week but still we are still talking and she says she wants to remain freinds im not over her and too be honest i think she still likes me deep down shes one of those people who really will not show emotions i did have 3 days of no contact with her but i got depressed and just text her syaing i miss you she text me saying i miss you too wanna meet up next week i said yer ok (at this point i was really happy lol) then the next morning she says sorry im busy gonna have to meet up another time i wrote back ok miss you still she replies i still only be friends its like she doesn't know what she wants what should i do? i think its just better if i completely don't contact her from now on and she if she contacts me... i know im waffling on a bit i just want her back i know most of u will understand what im going through Btw shes 16 im 19 if that helps.. Edited August 5, 2011 by joe123
The_Good_Me Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Hi Joe, sorry to hear you're going through this. I think you already know what to do here. It does sound like she's confused at the moment so the only thing you can do is give her some time to think it over. If she decides she wants to be with you, nothing will stop her. If she decides she doesn't want to be with you then unfortunately you have no control over that and will have to accept it. If I were you I wouldn't send her another message and just start NC right now. Don't tell her you're there for her whenever she needs you, just drop off her radar and see what happens. When we're dumped we lose all power in terms of being able to save the relationship. The ball is in their court and if they want to rekindle something it's up to them. The only thing the dumpee's can do is to work on ourselves for whatever lies ahead whether its your ex coming back, or you moving on. It's only been a week so I suggest going full no contact for a month and see what happens during that time and see how you feel at the end of it. During this month though, try not to expect her to come back because hope of them coming back is a real killer to the healing process. Accept that it's over (even if that happens to be only for now) and work on moving on as there really is no telling what will happen. Good luck.
Author joe123 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 Hi Joe, sorry to hear you're going through this. I think you already know what to do here. It does sound like she's confused at the moment so the only thing you can do is give her some time to think it over. If she decides she wants to be with you, nothing will stop her. If she decides she doesn't want to be with you then unfortunately you have no control over that and will have to accept it. If I were you I wouldn't send her another message and just start NC right now. Don't tell her you're there for her whenever she needs you, just drop off her radar and see what happens. When we're dumped we lose all power in terms of being able to save the relationship. The ball is in their court and if they want to rekindle something it's up to them. The only thing the dumpee's can do is to work on ourselves for whatever lies ahead whether its your ex coming back, or you moving on. It's only been a week so I suggest going full no contact for a month and see what happens during that time and see how you feel at the end of it. During this month though, try not to expect her to come back because hope of them coming back is a real killer to the healing process. Accept that it's over (even if that happens to be only for now) and work on moving on as there really is no telling what will happen. Good luck. yer i should really coz in the 3 days i didnt the 2nd day i actually like i didnt really care starting from now no contact cant be asked to mug myself off anymore ill get over it i no i will may take a week may take a few months but i will im not type of person that relies on anyone so lets see how it goes ill keep you lot posted if anyone cares..
The_Good_Me Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Good to hear it mate. I think it's good to keep posting on here even if you only post when/if you're feeling down. There's plenty of nice people on here to offer some kind words. Rooting for you to get through this as quickly and as smoothly as possible
Author joe123 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 yer at the moment i still want her back but at the same time i dont coz she'll do it all over again i think give it 2-3 weeks ill be over her do u think its wise to delete her freinds of my blackberry messenger coz i do speak to them and its only ever about her
The_Good_Me Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 If they're mutual friends then I wouldn't delete them, I'd just respectfully ask them not to talk to you about your ex. If they're just her friends then deleting them is probably a good idea, just make sure you go about it in a mature way. Such as telling them... "I've decided to go into NC with my ex to get over the break up... Then you have 2 options, you can either say... if you want to stay in contact with me then that's fine but I'd rather keep the topic off my ex (if you actually want to stay in contact with any of these people). Otherwise just end it with... "its nothing personal but talking to you about her is making it harder for me to get through it so I'm going to delete you from my messenger. Take care of yourself (yourselves) and my ex. Obviously you can use your own words but just make sure they understand you're not doing it to be a dick, you're a nice guy and you're being respectful. Otherwise it can cause friction and you don't need any other complications at the moment. Entirely up to you though man, do what is best for yourself.
Author joe123 Posted August 6, 2011 Author Posted August 6, 2011 really angry at myself last night i had a argument with Friends which caused me too be pissed off at everything i broke NC already i rung her up too say to stop contacting me unless you want to get back with me because i was just getting mixed messages from her and it was driving me insane i just wanted to know were i stand so annoyed at myself week on now and im still feeling no different SOMEONE SLAP ME
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