DylanLJ Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Ok, so it's technically not a question. She also technically may not be cheating. First off, I've done a lot of things wrong today. I got onto her facebook. I know, I know, that's like three strikes all in one. But can we save the judgement on that for now? Basically, she has a guy friend that she likes to hang out with, with his group of friends. They've started hanging out alone together lately, and she's said that he is somebody that she wants to flirt with a lot but has tried to control it. When I got on her facebook, I found out they've been discussing their sexual preferences and other information with each other, and she asked him if she could hang out with him tomorrow and watch movies or something. I asked her if I could see her tomorrow and she said she was busy all day working on a project. How she put it to him was "What are you doing tomorrow? God knows I'm boring as hell. We should watch those movies or something." Am I reading too into this? Like I said, don't just say I suck because I hacked. I know it was a stupid mistake. But it's done. She may not be full on cheating, but is she on a slippery slope? Is what she's doing innappropriate?
rafallus Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 No, you're not reading too much into it, you're clearly being relegated to second place.
PegNosePete Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Dude, what the F*CK! That is NOT how a woman who is in a relationship should be acting. She should not be going out alone with another guy, that is called a "date". She should not be discussing details of her sex life with another guy. She should not be LYING to you about tomorrow. She has no respect for you or your relationship. You need to end it with this cheater. What do you think would happen if she caught you doing this kind of thing with another woman? I'll tell you what, you'd be dumped faster than a ferret up a trouser leg.
Bryanp Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 She is playing you for a fool and is clearly into him. She does not respect you or your relationship. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Move on.
carhill Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Welcome to LS Print out screen shots of the information you have, calmly hand them to her and say nothing. This is apparently an issue for you. If you feel de-prioritized and devalued by her actions, that's not a 'technicality'. It's valid. Own it. Good luck.
GorillaTheater Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Dylan, ditto all of the above plus this: forget feeling bad or guilty or whatever over getting into her facebook. You got the truth the only way you could, since she sure as hell wasn't, isn't and won't be truthful with you. You're merely protecting yourself, nothing to feel bad about at all. So what are you going to do about it?
Chi townD Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 First don't feel bad about snooping, you have every right to know what's going on in your relationship. The fact that you asked her to do something and she LIED to you about it is the smoking gun. Is she working at a project at work? If I were you, I would call her up later in the day where she's supposed to be working on this project. " Hey, where are you. I felt bad that you had to work on a project all day so I ame here to(wherever) to bring you an early dinner." if she gives you some BS accuse that she went out with friends, " Yeah, right. Well, if you want to spend your time with douche rocket, I guess we're through. Bye!"
YellowShark Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 When I got on her facebook, I found out they've been discussing their sexual preferences and other information with each other, and she asked him if she could hang out with him tomorrow and watch movies or something. I asked her if I could see her tomorrow and she said she was busy all day working on a project. Ahhh.. good old Facebook strikes again. Dylan. She is totally into this other guy emotionally. They are talking about sex. They hang out, and talk about hanging out together. She lied to you about what she is doing, and gave the "busy all day working on a project" line. I'd say she is thinking way too hard about this guy out for sure. Maybe your relationship is ending. Who knows. Good luck dude.
Lucas_ip Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Throw in the evidence in her face and when she has nothing to say but I'm sorry or tries making an excuse, then said it's over then spit at her and leave.
Author DylanLJ Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 You've all been incredibly helpful, I was legitimately shocked at the quality of the advice given. I know what I need to do, and it's no stranger on the internet's business what that is. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. Thank you all for your support. It was exactly what I needed in a time of crisis.
John Michael Kane Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 You've all been incredibly helpful, I was legitimately shocked at the quality of the advice given. I know what I need to do, and it's no stranger on the internet's business what that is. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. Thank you all for your support. It was exactly what I needed in a time of crisis. Best of luck to you.
whichwayisup Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Ok, so it's technically not a question. She also technically may not be cheating. First off, I've done a lot of things wrong today. I got onto her facebook. I know, I know, that's like three strikes all in one. But can we save the judgement on that for now? Basically, she has a guy friend that she likes to hang out with, with his group of friends. They've started hanging out alone together lately, and she's said that he is somebody that she wants to flirt with a lot but has tried to control it. When I got on her facebook, I found out they've been discussing their sexual preferences and other information with each other, and she asked him if she could hang out with him tomorrow and watch movies or something. I asked her if I could see her tomorrow and she said she was busy all day working on a project. How she put it to him was "What are you doing tomorrow? God knows I'm boring as hell. We should watch those movies or something." Am I reading too into this? Like I said, don't just say I suck because I hacked. I know it was a stupid mistake. But it's done. She may not be full on cheating, but is she on a slippery slope? Is what she's doing innappropriate? Totally inappropriate behaviour and topics of discussion with a guy! You have every right to be concerned. don't beat yourself up about checking out her facebook! (are you on her fb as a friend? And I take it those are messages back and forth, not something on her wall..)
whichwayisup Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed? That you were flirting with another girl, making plans to see her and then lie (you have to work) when she wants to make plans with you. Then tell her, point blank, 'If you want this guy and it does seem like you do, go for it. I don't deserve this treatment, you getting to know him and spend time with another guy on MY expense. I'm breaking up with you.." Or something along those lines. Don't even bother trying to save things because chances are she is going to react with a lot of emotion and tell you this guy means nothing and she'll minimize what she's done. Worry about the future later, just deal with the now..And that now is, she is doing something behind your back, whether it be full on cheating or not, and you don't need to sit idle while she goes ahead and does this.
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