I left, now Im trying to make things right but not getting positive ...

[Amanda327]

Hi there.. Im new at this so bare with me. My husband and I have been together for 7 yrs, married for 6. We met when I was 14. We have one daughter together. About 3 months ago I left and moved in with my aunt while he stayed in our house. I filed for divorced because at the time I thought we were done. We were always fighting and we didnt want our daughter around it. We also separated for 2 months this time last year got back together said we were going to do counseling but never did and ended up in this situation. We hadn't spoken about us or our relationship for 2 months, just about our daughter until now. i recently discovered that I still love him deeply. We have a lot of history behind us and have been through Hell and back. I Dont want to gIve up on us. Im trying to convince him we need help. Now he's telling me that he's learned to isolate himself and learn to be alone. All i want is my family back together at this point and stop the back and forth. He has a tough outer shell now and I Dont think I break it, Im hoping I can. He's willing to go to counseling but as individuals and then see a marriage counseled. I just want advice and help from others that have been through this.. Anything will help. I love him with all my heart and I hope we can make it through.. Thank you

[mr.goodguy]

Hey Amanda...it sounds like he has shut down. My honest gut opinion is that if you didnt have a child together, he'd be gone. But since you do, he rather be miserable together than have to separate and be forced to pay support. As much as you want to get your family back together, you need to think what is best for you and your child...that is to be in a positive environment.

 

"Now he's telling me that he's learned to isolate himself and learn to be alone" This is kind of alarming to hear. He definitely has some deep issue(s) to deal with...which would be the reason he's requested seeing separate counselors...before seeing the marriage counselor.

 

I've never been through this but growing up with a single parent, you have to do what is best for the child. Don't get lost in trying to 'crack' your husband... All the best.