Bubby Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 (edited) For two weeks now I have cried my eyes out because my husband has broken up our marriage. He still talks to me like he used to with affection and in our own relationship language and nicknames. Yesterday I had the audacity to tell him how I felt. Well did he blow his top ! He felt bad. I was supposed to keep quiet and not ruffle any feathers because he wanted an "amicable" separation. Amicable my foot ! Well it was the best thing that I ever did for me. I have suddenly found my voice and I feel so much happier. I will continue to use my voice as I had turned into a doormat but no more. Phew ! I still hurt and am devastated by what has happened but I don't feel like the victim that I think was previously.I feel suddenly optimistic and that my world is not dominated by this anymore. Whatever it is he is going through I want to distance myself from and realize that in my book I was the best thing that ever happended to him. I have to remind myself of that truth. I may have lost something and I know I have to grieve and cry and be upset, but I'm starting to find myself again and gee the world looks brighter and sunnier all of a sudden. (Where I live we are still in winter ! and it is bright and sunny). PS I've tried to use my anger to motivate myself into a better positive frame of mind to cope with this. As someone said to me recently I have been through worse. Edited August 5, 2011 by Bubby Add to my post
2.50 a gallon Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Sorry to see you here. I am also sorry to have to warn you that the roller coaster ride is just beginning. The good days will be followed by crashing bad days, most of us on this board have been through it. It will take time, but eventually it will get better. In the beginning our brains want to obsess on the break up. So the trick is to switch your brain waves down a different track My theory was to find something that I like and get into it. And that every second that I distracted myself was a victory, then I found a way to turn the seconds into minutes, and the minutes into hours Do you have a favorite hobby? If not find one. When I was in your shoes, I found the time I spent on my hobbies to be relaxing. With a new found freedom I also looked towards moving into new areas. For me it was to try gourmet cooking. Instead of making a quick meal, I invested a half an hour or more to make a delicious meal. Look at it this way, you have a new freedom, what do you want to do with it? Now is the time to try sky diving, tropical fish, raising orchids, building minitures, or what ever you are interested in
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