musemaj11 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Men have flat out told me they could never date/marry a woman who made more than them. Or had more education. Because we know that women cannot respect a man whom they perceive as worth less than them. Study has shown that the moment the woman in a relationship starts to earn more, the relationship will also start to deteriorate. That's funny. My parents have been married for over 25 years and my mom makes more than twice as much as my dad makes. And they come from a much more traditional culture than most. I guess there's always exceptions. The same with my parents and they too come from a traditional culture. The thing is that in a conservative society, most people are just happy enough to be able to find someone who is interested in them and wants to marry them. My mother was the daughter of a colonel while my father was the son of a poor farmer and until now she has always made more than him. And my mother admits that although she was attracted to my father's personality, but the main reason she decided to marry him was because she didnt get a better option. Also, due to their traditional background, for them marriage is for life whether or not they are happy with it.
alphamale Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 That's funny. My parents have been married for over 25 years and my mom makes more than twice as much as my dad makes. And they come from a much more traditional culture than most. I guess there's always exceptions. yea but who wears the pants in the family, probably your ma
Queen Zenobia Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 yea but who wears the pants in the family, probably your ma Actually no my dad does. Both of my parents have very successful careers (both have Ph.D.'s is their respective fields), it's just that the market for my mother's field (bio-tech engineering) is a lot more lucrative than my father's (economics and public policy). Since they both have a high level of achievement no one gets into a tit for tat accounting of what each makes. That's what I'm getting at. Because we know that women cannot respect a man whom they perceive as worth less than them. Study has shown that the moment the woman in a relationship starts to earn more, the relationship will also start to deteriorate. It largely depends on why this is though. If a woman starts to make more because she has more ambition or drive than her partner which results in her making more money then I suppose this theory might have some merit. But market forces and career occupations don't always work this way: President Obama makes less money per year than Danica Patrick, is he "worth less" than she is? The same with my parents and they too come from a traditional culture. The thing is that in a conservative society, most people are just happy enough to be able to find someone who is interested in them and wants to marry them. My mother was the daughter of a colonel while my father was the son of a poor farmer and until now she has always made more than him. And my mother admits that although she was attracted to my father's personality, but the main reason she decided to marry him was because she didnt get a better option. Also, due to their traditional background, for them marriage is for life whether or not they are happy with it. My parents met in college (different schools in the same city) when they met they were both broke college kids (my father slightly more broke but not by much) and immigrants to the US. Perhaps they bonded over their common Arab culture, or maybe it was something deeper, I don't know aside from what I've been told. What I do know is that my mother could have gotten any guy she wanted easily (you know that exotic Lebanese look, she had that, hell she still kinda has it) and my parents seem happy, the kind of happy that doesn't look forced. I'm not going to say that my parents are in the norm, because with the divorce rate what it is the norm seems to be miserable marriages and power struggles. But, what I will say is that there's only so much money can buy, and happiness doesn't seem to be one of those things it can buy.
musemaj11 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Perhaps they bonded over their common Arab culture, or maybe it was something deeper, I don't know aside from what I've been told. What I do know is that my mother could have gotten any guy she wanted easily (you know that exotic Lebanese look, she had that, hell she still kinda has it) and my parents seem happy, the kind of happy that doesn't look forced. First generation immigrants (especially women and those coming from strongly traditional cultures) have a high tendency to favor potential mates from their own cultural background even if on paper they measure less. President Obama makes less money per year than Danica Patrick, is he "worth less" than she is? Why are you asking me? Im a guy, I dont care how much money my potential mate has. As long as Im attracted to her physically and emotionally, I will give her what I have if she has less and I have more or I will work together with her so we both can have more if both of us have less.
JJ The PUA Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Well, you'll tend to see that the uber hot & wealthy cougar housewife likes to hook up with the hot 21-yr. old pool boy, but would never leave her 50 yr. Fortune 100 CEO husband. A lot of girls will hook up with or have "fun" with a guy who's a convenience store clerk or landscaper if she thinks he's attractive enough, but would never consider such guys marriage material. It goes the same for guys, many would love to hook up with a stripper for the night, but would never seriously consider marrying one.
grkBoy Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 I personally would be fine with girl who say only graduated basic college and was doing someting simple like receptionist or customer service. I wouldn't care. we would help eachother and if we married we could fight together. But how about women? I often see that they care too much about if the guy has great jobs. That's why I don't know how i will be able to find a woman that doesn't care too much. I've only noticed women mainly want a guy they don't have to financially support in life. He doesn't need to be a high earning executive, but he can't be a 30something guy working a part-time job meant for teenagers.
Queen Zenobia Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 First generation immigrants (especially women and those coming from strongly traditional cultures) have a high tendency to favor potential mates from their own cultural background even if on paper they measure less. Why are you asking me? Im a guy, I dont care how much money my potential mate has. As long as Im attracted to her physically and emotionally, I will give her what I have if she has less and I have more or I will work together with her so we both can have more if both of us have less. Why can't you both have more? Why can't you both be employed making a good amount of money? I think you miss my point. What I've been trying to get at is that the right girl will not care if she makes a few more bucks than you. Now if she's a CEO of a fortune 500 company and you deliver pizzas for a living that might change. But I think that's an extreme example don't you?
alphamale Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Actually no my dad does. Both of my parents have very successful careers (both have Ph.D.'s is their respective fields), it's just that the market for my mother's field (bio-tech engineering) is a lot more lucrative than my father's (economics and public policy). Since they both have a high level of achievement no one gets into a tit for tat accounting of what each makes. That's what I'm getting at. the level of education in this scenario doesn't mean squat. its the amount of the paycheck that is much more important. i mean look at all the celebs and athletes that didn't even go to college who are making tens of millions per year...
Queen Zenobia Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 the level of education in this scenario doesn't mean squat. its the amount of the paycheck that is much more important. Why? Take two people one makes 200k a year and the other makes 150k a year. Is the person making 200k grossly better off? What, they can afford a slightly better home or one more fancy vacation every year? What about someone making 70k compared to someone who makes 50k? We're not arguing about someone who is a CEO of a fortune 500 company vs someone working part time at Walmart, we're comparing two working professionals in white collar professions. At some point the comparisons over wages don't matter as demonstrable quality of life can only go so high. Or do you think that instinctively women all just look for the best provider they can find?
delilah123 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 don't give me that baloney. and we're talking attractive women here not their more homely sister I'm attractive. People routinley come up to myself and my partner or just to my partner and ask how on earth he pulled me. it's ridiculous like i said. one of my other friend models and is dating a man 10 years her senior & he doesn't have a job. attractive women date guys they love all the time. what you all mean to be saying is attractive women don't date you. and from what I can tell here, it's probably a lack of confidence combined with this bitterness that encourages that problem.
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