jchips Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Hi Everybody. Recap: I broke up with my bf of 2 yrs about 4 months ago. He's been out of the house for 2 months and we still share some bills & a lot of his stuff is slowly getting moved out. We are on civilized terms. There is a very specific reason I broke up, he knows it, and we are BOTH sick & devastated about breaking up. He has agreed it's the right thing to do. The problem? I got a letter from him yesterday- in the regular mail!- apologizing for some recent mess ups, but not for the reason we split. And he describes all the ways he has tried to make this transition as painless as possible for me & all the wonderful things he has done for me since we broke up & he says he made a CD of some of my favorite music for me, etc, etc. I cried 10 buckets. So it looks like he wants us to end on good terms, and maybe even leave the door open for a possible come back if he decides to clean up his act. But this letter was like a kick in the gut saying "Look how wonderful I can be and you're losing me, and I'm outta here." Ouch. I know as soon as his stuff is moved out I gotta go NC, for sure. I know that. But his letter is making me think he's being so nice for a reason- maybe because he still loves me & after 2 months of being without me, maybe he's rethinking his role in why it fell apart. Maybe he wants to give me hope so I won't close the door on him completely. Maybe, maybe, maybe... All these maybes are making me crazy and keep me living in a fantasy that will never happen. I still love him with every ounce of my heart. It is so hard to let him go, but I have to. Help me please find a way to make a clean break and somehow move on without him. Thanks, guys.
Arikel Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) Remember the reasons why you broke up. Write yourself or him a letter expressing your feelings BUT DONT SEND IT. Just keep it and read it whenever you feel weak to remind yourself of why this man isnt right for you. Post on loveshack instead of texting him. I wish you well, I'm currently in the same boat, and working to move my life forward and trying to get out there to date again. Sigh Edited August 4, 2011 by Arikel
Author jchips Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 That's the ONLY thing keeping me half way sane- is remembering the facts of why he had to go. And when I forget the facts, friends and people like you, Arikel, remind me why it has to be this way. It's the fantasy that if he would just do this one thing....I would take him back in a heart beat. But I have to keep going forward because he may never ever take that step... When I think my friends are getting to the point where they have heard just way to much of my break-up saga, I post here. Thank God! And the support is here, too. This is the hardest thing I've ever done and I've done a LOT of hard things. So thanks for helping, Arikel.
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