ConfusedT Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 So, I posted that my x and I had broken up. Said he wanted to be single- BLAH-. He was actually already back with his ex-friend. (They "talked" for years, but were never together. He met me and we got together for a little under a year & now he left me for her and they became official- surprise, surprise) Confused to say the least! Anyways, I am a college-educated, professional single mom. Own my own house, own car, no debt, attractive and most importantly- I have a good, compassionate heart & I'm a good person. He has no job, no car, no license, lives with his dad, no education, became disrespectful, cheated (with her & god knows who else), lied (multiple things), was stalked by his psychotic "ex-friend" and went to jail during our relationship, but I STAYED throughout everything and he ended up leaving ME & i ended up being heart-broken & begging and pleading to stay with him EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS! WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? Why would I settle for that type of relationship? Low self-esteem? Attachment? Security issues? I'm disappointed in myself, my actions, everything, but I just don't know WHY I would allow this to happen? Any thoughts or experiences or suggestions to make things better. Positive, but harsh OK. =)
Eddie Edirol Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Youre attached, youre a romantic, and you wanted to make the relationship work. You were confortable in the situation and you wanted it back to feel better. Everyone on this board has been through it. Good thing about you is that you know better now. So fast forward one year, when you start over with someone new who is as established, owns all his own stuff, and is worlds above your ex, you will be really elated at how healthy the new relationship is. Picture that. You will be sharper, you wont ignore all the red flags, and you will filter out all the junk men for one that is ready to be in a healthy relationship like you are.
Mcnulty Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Sounds like he shot way above his league and you have had a lucky escape!!! Imagine if you'd had kds with this loser??? We can't pick who we fall for...it just happens, their smell, their mannerisms, their quirkiness, even that they remind you sub-cnsciously of an ex or even someone from your childhood...lots of variables go into why we are attracted to someone, we can't control that. Maybe you have an innate need to mother or rescue someone, ie this idiot who cheated on you? You've dodged a bullet, look forward , not backwards and know that you sound a lovely person.
Author ConfusedT Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 Thank you. Yes, I recognize it, but I'm still hurting so much. I cry everyday. I just want to be happy and smile again instead of sitting here heartbroken and devestated...
CaliBabe Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 its normal to do those things. just recognize your mistakes, learn from them and move on. i did the same and now that i can look back and learn and grow from it, i can begin to forgive myself and hold myself to a higher standard.
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