mygoldenlife Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I just wanted anyone's thought's on this issue..Myself and a friend of mine were discussing this as it pertain's to relationships and how usually you never find 100% of what you need in a partner just 80% and the remaining 20% from someone else...Do you guys find any logic in this?? As I know no one is perfect...And also what do you Think is the MAIN factor as to why a man or women would want to cheat??
Linda9999 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 There are no reasons for cheating, only excuses. What you call 'factors' will vary widely and there are as many factors as there are cheaters. If I had to pin down a main one I would say it's the addled state of mind of the cheater. That 80/20 split sounds like someones excuse to me. I agree that it's hard to find one person who is 'everything' to you. Impossible in fact. They can't be your mother, father, sister, daughter, brother etc. all of whom provide different relationships and fulfill different needs for any given person. It's how we choose to fulfill the additional aspects in our lives that counts, not whether another person fulfills them all or not.
wheelwright Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I don't know what the stats are, but there is something clear when a R is over. I suspect it can't be counted. Anyway, you can have a whole load of good stuff in a R, but it's not the right good stuff for you. Or the fit isn't right. Like a beautiful round peg and a perfect square hole. I think a good R accepts the lack of fit, is a fit, or is a near enough fit to make chiselling away possible. Your 80-20 strikes me as a chiselling job.
bentnotbroken Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 The 80/20 rule came up in Tyler Perry's movie Why Did I Get Married. And yes I do believe that most people will throw away 80% or what is right in a relationship for 20% of what they think is missing. But that was a movie where the BS knocked the hell out of the cheating spouse with a wine bottle and then found a man who was a "real" man. Ahh if life were also that easy.
Severely Unamused Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Can you accurately measure a metaphysical construct with numbers? This is psychology not physics. See, instead of saying that a monogamous relationship is a 50/50 deal, why not say that the relationship is the responsibility of the couple involved? Or something like that? As I know no one is perfectHere's a charming little quote for you: Some people are more perfect than others.
Spark1111 Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 If I give 80% and he invests 80% every day, that equals 160% of relationship. I'll take it.
NoIDidn't Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 It was said in the movie that the guy was throwing away 80% for someone that only gave him 20%. It was used to show how silly reasoning is when you think that the 20% you are missing is worth more than the 80% you are getting. I have to agree with Spark that I'll take 80%. Most people give and get so much less than that. Most people are hovering at that 20% and that's not worth the next argument.
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