TaintedHeart Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Finding out that your ex has a new boyfriend/girlfriend.. How did you cope? How did you feel?
wilsonx Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 in the end you have to accept it and let your ex go, does it hurt, absolutely! but the more you start worrying about yourself and focusing on yourself, in time you will realize that your ex doesn't mean anything to you
ScienceGal Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I am pretty sure my ex is just sleeping around right now, but I am sure he will find another relationship at some point too. I just feel numb when I think about him now, and it's been almost 8 weeks. But, we have not spoken at all, and that is VERY important in order to move on. It might hurt to hear your ex is with someone new, but remember that as long as you stay on the path to healing and recovery that you will find happiness too. There are no short cuts to this, so be prepared to put the time in. Be prepared to backslide a bit. But, remember that you will get there! Do your best to act indifferent to the whole situation. Do not show it is affecting you at all. Vent to a close friend (and/or on here), but that's it. Also, don't idealize the ex, they are not perfect. Remember all of the things about the relationship that didn't work, all the things that hurt you. Give yourself credit for the progress you've made, even if it's just a little. I am realizing lately that I am missing the relationship (closeness, companionship, safe predictability) more than I am missing him. It's easiest to default to what is familiar, and I think that's the only reason I miss him at all anymore. Good luck:)
antinko Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 When I see it, it'll hurt, but I'm trying to work under the impression that my ex already has. Takes away the sting a bit.
Author TaintedHeart Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 To be honest I didn't feel anything, not a thing! Which freaked me out. I made myself ill in the first couple of weeks following our break up and thought finding this out would kill me but I was like 'Right ok, wow you moved on quick' It didn't phase me at all. Am I weird? Will it hit home soon? Or am I just numb, or am I stronger than what I thought?
ScienceGal Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Am I weird? Will it hit home soon? Or am I just numb, or am I stronger than what I thought? 1)No. 2)Perhaps. and 3)YES! We are all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I am glad it did not affect you in a negative way. You've probably already processed and accepted that the relationship was not right for you. And, I've never found anything upsetting about an ex moving on quickly... it reinforces the fact that we are COMPLETELY different in our behaviors. It's more of a turnoff than anything.
Author TaintedHeart Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 it reinforces the fact that we are COMPLETELY different in our behaviors. It's more of a turnoff than anything. This is very true! The first thing I thought was 'What a joke' I wasn't upset or angry though..
Author TaintedHeart Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) in the end you have to accept it and let your ex go, does it hurt, absolutely! but the more you start worrying about yourself and focusing on yourself, in time you will realize that your ex doesn't mean anything to you It didn't hurt me Wilson, as you know I was a mess but now I couldn't care less.. I just hope it doesn't all creep up on me again. So to everyone that is in that dark place, you WILL feel better sooner than think Edited August 4, 2011 by TaintedHeart
radiodarcy Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 When I see it, it'll hurt, but I'm trying to work under the impression that my ex already has. Takes away the sting a bit. i've been doing this as will. i have no idea if he is seeing someone but i imagine it i were to find out, it would be a bit like the accounts i've heard from people who have been stabbed - - i won't feel the initial impact until i look down and see the blood gushing from the wound and then the pain will set in and last for days. ok - - i'm probably being a bit dramatic but i've had a grueling day at work today...
Author TaintedHeart Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 i've been doing this as will. i have no idea if he is seeing someone but i imagine it i were to find out, it would be a bit like the accounts i've heard from people who have been stabbed - - i won't feel the initial impact until i look down and see the blood gushing from the wound and then the pain will set in and last for days. ok - - i'm probably being a bit dramatic but i've had a grueling day at work today... I kept telling myself that she will find someone before long because I too thought it would take the sting away...but there wasn't a sting, not even a scratch! Pretty shocked that I've taken it so well to be honest. I think you'll be fine, if I can cope then anyone can!
Rory12345 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 When I found out my ex was seeing someone after less than 3 weeks of breaking it up, at first it hurt but it actually helped me. It showed me that she wasn't worth my time and it made me make that step to get over her. It may be a kick in the proverbial but it could help.
Author TaintedHeart Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 When I found out my ex was seeing someone after less than 3 weeks of breaking it up, at first it hurt but it actually helped me. It showed me that she wasn't worth my time and it made me make that step to get over her. It may be a kick in the proverbial but it could help. It's like the last chapter of a book, it's finished, done with. And there is no point in keeping hold of it, it's useless and pointless. So I'm going to start a new book...
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