skylinesunrise Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 3 weeks ago, my bf dumped me. i know he had emotionally checked out a few months back and i did all i could but nothing changed. our 3 year relationship just got stale and routine for him and he broke up saying he just didn't feel anything anymore. i know he was tired from the obligations and resentment that had built up because i made him my whole life - no life of my own. (I have since learnt and am making that change now) i found out a few days ago that he's been seeing this new girl. they met THE WEEK we broke up (they met monday, we broke up saturday). he's really into her, meeting her often and saying he misses her and wants to kiss her all the time. the girl in question had a 2 year bf at the time too, and i found out that relationship was also recently ended. they have both started private twitter accounts to send "lovey" messages to each other. i found it. i am 25, a school teacher, and he's 22, and a regular serviceman in the army. our relationship was always built on a strong foundation of trust, friendship and being able to communicate openly with each other. he isn't the type of guy who likes partying and drinking. this new girl is 20, still in school, and parties alot. she seems like the total opposite of me. and he has stopped hanging out with his group of friends which knew us as a couple. they don't even know we broke up! and he now hangs with a new group which includes her and her drinking/partying friends. it is VERY unlike him. i am wondering, are they rebounding off each other? considering they only met that monday, could anything there be real? for both of them to leave their long-term relationships? i am going to try and win him back with the changes i am making in my life. but i am afraid that i have lost him to someone new and exciting and younger, probably more fun. help!
wilsonx Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I'm sorry this happened to you but as the resident GIGS person on the forum, I will say you should take a look at the link in my signature. It will provide a lot of the answers you are looking for to his behavior. I can only give you insight based on my behavior of being on both sides of the coin of this type of breakup. There are others here as well that have gone through it. To be honest with you, I know it hurts, I'm 2 months out from the same type of breakup but if you aren't going No contact yet, I'd suggest doing it =) It really works and helps you to see the relationship from a whole new perspective. Feel free to analyze the relationship as much as possible ask questions but eventually you do have to let go and work on yourself and moving forward
Eddie Edirol Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Dont worry about contacting him with your changes, it wont work. He is dating a woman that is the opposite of you because he had three years of you, he wanted a different flavor. He most likely wont go backwards. Theres probably many things about you that added up that turned him off, and only he can decide if he wants to go back to that. Plus hes 22, and he wants to play the field, he probably wont commit to this new girl. They might be rebounding off each other, but it could work, it might not. Its not for you to worry about. make your changes, become more confident, dont contact or follow him (i know how hard that is) and in a few months, or a year, you start dating again discovering new personalities that will make you realize he wasnt the one for you.
Author skylinesunrise Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 i know this is going to sound small minded and stubborn but he IS the guy for me. I believe it with all my heart and strength and i feel it inside me. and i also know that somehow at the back of his mind he also knows it too. what we had was so different from all the other people we dated previously. i just so strongly believe in my heart that this new girl he's seeing is exactly that - the opposite of me. while our relationship was sucked out of the fun and excitement and spark, he's found it with this new girl. but i know he knows no one can love him as much as i do. which is why i'm going to wait it out for his relationship to run its course. meanwhile, i'm gonna work on myself and becoming a happy person whether or not i have a man because that's my biggest problem - i suck the passion out by constantly being available to him and making him my source of happiness (too much pressure). i just need advice from people who have gone through this. these rebound relationships, i prefer to believe they are going through, how long do they last? and what should i do when it does end?
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