Do people really let go of their first love or i am crazy for wanting her back?

[jt214]

I have posted about this girl many times, but for those of you don’t know the story, here it is in short: Juniors in college, started dating and it was going great, problem was I was going abroad in the Spring, always planned to stay together, but when the time came she dumped me. I was very attached due to her being my first love, she gave me her V-card, and some other stuff that meant the world to me. I had an amazing time abroad, but I still missed her a lot. I talked to her about once every two weeks while I was there, but it was always me that initiated contact, never her. Got back to school to find that all our mutual friends now hated her and she’s eaten most of her meals by herself. I told her how much I missed her while I was abroad and how I was sorry about the timing, to which she said “it is what it is”. After that, I decided I was done with her and that I was better off.

 

There are a lot of things I still miss about her, although sometimes I think I confuse those things with just missing having someone, not necessarily her. I’ve gone back and forth in my head about whether I should try to get her back in the fall, which is quickly approaching. But here are some things she said to me that really really pissed me off while we were dating:

 

1. “If this guy were still at school, I’d be nervous if I were you because there was something about that kid”

2. “I wish that you had gotten mono so I could have it too and weigh 120”

3. “My best friend thinks you’re not good enough for me”

4. “My brother doesn’t have any faith in you lasting with me”

5. “If I had met you Sophomore year you wouldn’t have had a chance with me”

6. “I told my friend about what you said about talking every day while you’re abroad and we both laughed about it.”

7. “I like you better when I’m drunk” (she apologized later for that one)

8. “I didn’t even like hooking up with you that much” (during our breakup)

9. “I hope he hooks up with a lot of girls abroad so he gets better at sex” (not said to me but to a friend after we broke up, she must have known it would get back to me)

 

Some other things about her: she is extremely insecure, very selfish, and self-absorbed. She can also be very obnoxious and immature. She also has a serious problem with thinking she’s fat and has a slight eating disorder because of it. But in spite of all these reasons, I cannot seem to let go of her. I can’t seem to stop dwelling on what would have happened if I had stayed, and I feel like I will regret it if I don’t try again when we get back to school. It also doesn’t help that she’s the hottest girl I’ve been with. Does anyone think this girl is worth pursuing, or should I continue to try to put my love for her behind me?

[fetish1980]

what you're doing is very healthy. My counselor even suggested that i write things down that was said and did during my relationship as well as my breakup. That way, as time passes on, we don't forget the things that caused the demise of the relationship.

 

As hurt and angry as i was with my ex, I have to struggle sometimes with only seeing her good, soft, and sweet side. The reality was, when things got bad, they got BAD. Just because things were good most of the time, it still wasn't strong enough to withstand the bad.

 

I probably need to take more time and read your story to really know how things went down. No, you're not crazy for wanting your ex back, but just be sure you don't want her back for the wrong reasons. Based on what you've listed so far, it sounds like she could be ery selfish, mean, and full of herself. I know there's probably a good side to her too, but don't forget about the hurtful things either.

 

fetish