craig-liststuff Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 So...I am dating a woman...she is perfect. beautiful and perfect. our morals are the same...we have similar life experiences....she is just amazing. so amazing...but i have no spark...no passion. I even have very little desire for her in a physical way...I do desire her but that is simply cause she is female...but the physical interactions are kinda flat...i don't know what to do because she is PERFECT for me except for the desire. BUT i know that Desire can wear off...and if you are not compatible with the person...then the relationship can turn to poop. So....what do you think i should do? A. Realize she is truly the most amazing person I know and be happy with that...or B. Keep on fishing till I find one that fits really well and has passion in the relationship? ???? Thanks in advance for your advice.
thatone Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 you talk to her about this? what did she say if so? you can't expect the other person to read your mind. that's part of making relationships work, you gotta talk about this stuff.
OliveOyl Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 So...I am dating a woman...she is perfect. beautiful and perfect. our morals are the same...we have similar life experiences....she is just amazing. so amazing...but i have no spark...no passion. I even have very little desire for her in a physical way...I do desire her but that is simply cause she is female...but the physical interactions are kinda flat...i don't know what to do because she is PERFECT for me except for the desire. BUT i know that Desire can wear off...and if you are not compatible with the person...then the relationship can turn to poop. So....what do you think i should do? A. Realize she is truly the most amazing person I know and be happy with that...or B. Keep on fishing till I find one that fits really well and has passion in the relationship? ???? Thanks in advance for your advice. B. Compatibility doesn't really wear off, but it alone is not enough to sustain a romantic relationship over the long haul. There needs to be some physical attraction. Otherwise you end up with what amounts to a "good friend."
Roman Griffen Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Life without passion is not life. Life without that heat is cold. I would choose B.
Sebastian76 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Definately B. I've been there! Had a wonderful gf for 5 years, but no physical passion, everything else was more or less perfect. In the end I couldn't do it anymore. I caught myself checking other women out non-stop and was never really happy. I'll never ever do something like that again. Straight after her I met a wonderful girl where the passion was evident and there was a night and day difference in my happiness and how much deeper the love felt with her. Without passion FROM THE BEGINNING it will never be a happy relationship, simple as that.
jasperste Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Hi Exactly my problem at the moment. There is no sexual spark at all between me and my girlfriend and there never has been. Sex is a chore and hard work unless I'm thinking of someone else...so not a good situation to be in. I am, like I think you are, hoping that I will grow to find her attractive sexually and that one day we'll just click but I'm not banking on it.
mortensorchid Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I find that if you try to talk yourself into thinking "Well so what if I don't feel it for them, they're good if not great in every way", you will eventually realize that the lack of passion is what drove you apart. I've met plenty of guys in the past who I thought "Well so what if I don't feel IT for him, it's better just to be with someone." And it never works. Because if it was never there, you won't feel it ever even if you try to force yourself into it. Unfortunately you have to move on from it. Or the other party will realize this as well and also move on.
Author craig-liststuff Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 I appreciate all your input. never thought i'd be in this situation...but yeah...i have to think of other women when with her etc. so weird. such a bummer too cause she is just awesome. thank you all for the input. i think you are correct. best to you all and agian...thanks for the advice.
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