emotional3 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 OK, so here goes my story, 4 years ago went through an awful divorce with children involved but we all managed to pull through just fine in the end. I remember thinking i would never ever love again as my ex H had hurt me so badly but i did get through it (although it took 16 mths). 6 months ago i met a guy who was lovely - total opposite in every aspect of life to me but we could talk for hours. Things progressed and after being friends for a month we started dating. Things got serious quickly and he talked alot about our future and got very involved with my children. I fell head over heels and then started feeling like i could not say how i felt about anything, he was losing interest fast and never really heard from him during the day. sex had almost stopped but apparently that was because he has a very low sex drive. I was feling more and more confused about it and starting over reacting to everything probably being the cause of alot of arguements. 8 weeks ago it all came to a head and the relationship ended. I am not crying anymore but i cant stop thinking about him - missing him. When we had good times they were great and i want that back. I feel so disposable as was recently told that none of his relationships last longer than 4 months, how can he just walk away so easily. im left picking up the pieces again and trying to keep myself strong for my kids. any advice would be great, thank you.
Zaphod B Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) I'm hearing ya. Been here only a few days now, trying to get over my ex too and finding there are a lot of people here in the same boat. I'm guilty of having put my ex on a pedistal and idealising her, only looking at her with rose-colored glasses, which she so didn't deserve. One technique I'm trying is making a list of all the things that were wrong with her and the things that caused me pain. The ultimate goal is to become angry at her and knock her off that pedistal so that I can get over her completely. As soon as I start to pine for the good things in our relationship, I force myself to think of all the bad stuff. I think it's helping and I keep adding new things to the list. Latest two things I thought about as I drove home tonight... Backstabber, Man hater... Edited August 4, 2011 by Zaphod B
antinko Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I miss my ex today too but I'm just having to remind myself of all the difficulties she put me through, all her bad points and the cheap way in which she dumped me. Such a person is undeserving of such esteem and I'm sure your ex is undeserving too. You just have to put yourself on the pedestal and think of number 1, just like everyone else says in this forum. It's far easier said than done, but it's the truth. It's your ex's loss and you'll find someone more suitable at some point if you want to. P.S And this is coming from a guy who wants to break NC right now, but has blocked the ex on FB, deleted her number and put my phone well away from me even just so I can't check it for texts/calls which will never materialize...
Author emotional3 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 I really appreciate your posts. I too have erased him from facebook, erased his numbers (even though I know them from memory) and so far I have not had the urge to drunken text or call apart from once just 5 days after we split in which I called crying asking him back - he said no and I just had to get over it !!! I do feel better than I did and think if I can get through my divorce I can get through this and my children keep me busy but it's evenings and weekends I struggle with! I think it was because we really planned a future and I spent so much time with him that now I can't stop thinking he will be doing those things and living what we planned with someone else!
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