Anderson.jacob25 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 First off I'd like to apologize for spelling and grammar as I am posting this from my phone -_- Some history: I met this girl at work about a year ago and have always been attracted to her. We never talked much in person (not assigned to same projects) but we chatted quite a bit online and texted some. I never asked her out previously as she had been in a relationship with someone else until a few weeks ago. It just so happens that a couple weeks ago she got assigned to my department. We talked a bit more and I decided to give it a shot. I asked her if shed like to see a movie with me, she accepted and I suppose it went fairly well. I'm horrible at reading body language but even I noticed that standing to get our tickets she was standing closer to me than I would have expected. After fhe movie I suggested getting coffee or something to eat, she declined saying she 'Doesnt eat'. I was actually expecting this as I know her to be essentially an anorexic. We talked walking out to her car and she told me when she would be working the next day and said I should come I'm at the same time. We said goodbye and left. My current problems: I'm not sure exactly where we stand. I will ask her On another date, but I am mainly trying to ensure I'm not friend zoned. Date ideas. Food centric dates (coffee, lunch, dinner) are my usual go to ideas but in this case are nearly useless. I can't do anything at my place right now (in the move in process for a new apt) Weird situations. We met at the theatre last time because it was easier for her (she just got off work at her other Job and doesn't want to leave her car) and my air conditioner is broken in my car, which I doubt she would appreciate In 110 degree weather. My thinking currently is coffee/tea after work tomorrow with her, and possibly something (art museum?) this weekend. We have not kissed at this point. Mainly I am looking to show her my Intentions to ensure I am not friend zoned. Also date ideas are appreciated. And we are both college students, FYI. Thanks!
SWAN808 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) are you sure she is anorexic? This is no joke and I advise you to tread carefully however alluring she might appear (anorexic girls often look very attractive and are meticulously turned out). Anorexia is a serious condition and the physical affect (being very thin) is just the tip of a very heavy emotional iceburg. I have experience with this indirectly. I am 29, have dated one and am training in psychology. Of course Im not saying people suffering from anorexia dont deserve love - but sometimes they are not ready for a mature relationship if they are not seriously working towards a recovery. If she has announced 'I dont eat' - that signals warning bells to me. It is not normal behaviour to 'not eat' and it is not encouraging she would simply broadcast this as if this is normal or acceptable. Humans need nutrition. If they cant feed themselves - you might not expect them to be able to nourish you. Sorry if that is a bit of a bummer to hear. All Im saying is - try to get a sense of what sort of emotional place she is in before jumping in feet first. Edited August 4, 2011 by SWAN808
Author Anderson.jacob25 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 Swan, thanks for the advice. Sorry if in my first post it seemed I didn't think it was a big deal, that wasn't my intention. I take the issue very seriously abd have given it a lot of thought. Honestly I'm not a medical professional so I can't say I am sure, but from what I know about her and what I remember from my psych classes it fits. We have talked about it some, and from what i understand she is doing better recently (actually eating now), But eating small portions and mostly early in the day. I think she's trying, but my knowledge is limited to what she chooses to tell me. As far as whether she is ready for a relationship right now, I dont know. I know she's got an amazing personality and I'd never forgive myself if I didn't at least try. Anyway, be assured that I'm not taking this lightly.
sm1tten Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 This sounds horrible problematic. From her possible eating disorder which would be an emotional and physical issue for both of you, to the fact that she's recently out of a relationship. I really don't know. Proceed with caution, at least.
Hot Chick Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 I don't see why she couldn't just go have a glass of water or non-calorie seltzer or something while you have dinner or a snack or something. It appears she didn't really want to hang out with you more and get to know you better after the date.... I read that anorexics often have bad breath, so keep that in mind. That would be a dealbreaker in and of itself for me. Anorexia is very serious and could very well result in death. I kind of think from what was posted that I would back off from dating her or even hanging out with her until her issues were healed. Like was stated, stating "I don't eat" is showing that she still is deeply into her anorexia.
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