mavlast Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I met "Pauline" online and we hit things off almost instantly. She was reluctant to meet me at first, but we talked on the phone for almost two weeks and had great chemistry. During this time I found her Facebook (primarily to verify that she was who she said she was) and noticed that she left statuses that were excerpts from our conversations. It was clear that she liked what she had seen of me. Last week Pauline asked me to join her on a group date with her (girl) friend. I accepted, and as the week passed, things continued as normal. As well, I asked if I could take her out on a date after the meeting and she happily said yes. However, our conversations came to an abrupt halt at the end of the week. Pauline had a nasty ear and throat infection and was quarantined for a week and a half. Additionally, her parents grounded her from all transport and all media except her mobile phone. She promised to call me as soon as her throat was better, and seemed genuinely excited about that possibility. I wished her a good recovery, and tried to send her a few texts, none of which received responses. Today I looked at Pauline's facebook -- and she was at a restaurant with her mother and sister -- a few hours ago! I was utterly floored. I called Pauline, and when she didn't answer I left a voicemail. I told her that she was on my mind so I'd looked at her Facebook and seen that "apparently her quarantine had ended early." I did not directly accuse her of lying, but I told her that if she had made up the sickness, I wished she had been honest with me instead. I asked her to call me back, and said that if not, she could consider this my last call. I do not remember my tone of voice, but I did not raise my voice or inflect to imply dishonesty, and I tried to be even-tempered and calm. I asked three (girl) friends for advice: one agreed with me, but the other two accused me of being "controlling" or "aggressive." I never said that I was angry for her cancelling the date, which was certainly her prerogative: it was the (very likely) dishonesty that made me upset. But now I don't know if I did the right thing. Nothing before this even remotely pointed to that she would stand me up, but her miraculous recovery is just a little too incredible for me to believe. Did I screw up? If so, what can I do now?
D-Lish Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I don't think you were being controlling or aggressive. She obviously lied to you about her situation. Regardless, she can't be that interested if she didn't call you as soon as she was "feeling better"... That's what you should pay attention to. Being "sick" doesn't take you away from your phone or computer... Sounds suspicious. I think she was blowing you off and was too cowardly to tell you the truth. When I'm sick I'm usually sitting in my bed with my phone and computer right beside me... Why would a parent ban their child from social interaction through these outlets just because they don't feel well? Suspicious IMO.
Author mavlast Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 D, * She was in trouble because she refused a shot from the doctor. * I'm trying not to think too much about this. It would a little sad for me to get too upset over someone I've never seen. However, I really liked her and she seemed to like me. There was no indication that she was uninterested or overwhelmed. She was ready to talk to me again, see my face on Skype, see me in person. It just confuses me and upsets me. * However, I want to quickly get over this and not be broody and moody forever. At the same time ... it is tempting to wonder whether there's even the slightest chance that she was being honest. A very slight chance, but ... it's just so weird that she would be so elaborately deceptive when she seemed very interested.
Author mavlast Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) Seriously, this is unbelievable! She just posted a status on my news feed; surely she must have gotten my message. I am so upset right now. I know I shouldn't be, but how could someone toy with me AND be so incredibly deceptive and then just act like it's no big deal? I mean, this is so crazy that a pretty big part of me thinks I screwed up. I mean, her parents may have decided to remove her phone or whatever, or maybe it's just charging. But then as D pointed out, why wouldnt she at least say "hey, Im feeling better" as she claimed that she would. If she just decided she wasnt interested then I could handle that. Will someone tolerate my rambling and moaning enough to talk to me about this? I'd really appreciate it. Edited August 4, 2011 by mavlast
OliveOyl Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 A quarantine from all media except mobile phone sounds very suspect. I don't believe it. Sadly, I think she was using that as an excuse. She appears dishonest and is either disinterested or is playing games with you. I'd move on.
Author mavlast Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 I've deleted her from my mobile phone contacts and from Facebook, but I stopped short of blocking her because I don't want to look vindictive or unable to get my mind off her. Still, it's going to be tough to forget about her. Unfortunately, girls are a little bit few and far between for me, and I met someone that I thought was special who made me happy. On a positive note, however, this really cute gay guy messaged me today -- so maybe where one door closes, another opens. We'll see, I suppose. How can I avoid being moody and broody and get over her?
D-Lish Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I'm sorry- she's just not interested. That's really obvious. How do you get over it? You make a date with someone else. Sad but true- meeting someone new that sparks your interest will have you getting over this girl pretty much immediately. Never put all your eggs into one basket.
Author mavlast Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 Problem is, I go to college kind of far away in about a month, so I don't want to fix something while I'm here. Although I suppose I could just see if I can find a casual date, you know? Not for a relationship, but just someone to meet. Again, I don't really care if she's interested or not. Completely her choice. I'd be slightly upset if she'd cancelled things, but I'd get over it. It's the deception that gets me.
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