clerm27 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) So, quick version, I met this girl in university last fall (2010), we hit it off right away, there was an obvious attraction there. We had a few amazing nights together and didn't get the chance to see each other for awhile, she started acting distant. I should also mention that she had jumped from an ex boyfriend of three years to me. We had a date Valentines day, she told me she couldn't date anyone. She said she felt horrible, and that how sweet I am made this decision difficult, but she had to spend some time being alone, because she's never really been without a relationship since she was 17 (22 now). She also told me, the next time she got into a relationship, she wanted it to be forever, she wanted the guy to be her best friend, and her lover, someone who could make her blood boil (her words, not mine). She insisted we remained friends. I've had strong feelings for this girl all along, and we've been unbelievably close ever since. She told me some things she insists she's never told anyone in her whole life, and we have so much in common, she shares my interests, we bought each other great birthday gifts, shes calls me quite often, and we see each other when we can. I tried to get over her and move on, I dated someone for 2 months, and that ended horribly, a lot of it my own fault because I was still crazy about the other girl. So today I'm with the friend, and she asked me how my love life was, I told her it was non-existent since the break-up, then I asked her about hers, she told me she had a date while I was out of the city for a week. I have to admit, my heart sank, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be hypocritical, but it still hurt. She said she still wasn't looking for a relationship, but it was nice to go out and dress up etc. I don't know what to do, some days I think I have a chance with this girl, and I know I'm everything she says she's looking for, but sometimes I'm not sure. I should mention she always called me 'tiger' (a nickname I've grown fond of from her), and she hasnt called me that since before I left on my trip (2 weeks ago), which is leading me to believe she is actually going to keep seeing the guy she went on the date with and saying she isnt in a relationship to spare my feelings (she mentioned on a 1.5 hour phone call one night she knew how I felt). I don't know how to proceed! Any advice is great! Sorry this is so long haha! I feel like I should just talk to her, but I don't know how to approach this without seeming like a needy douche. I'm so attracted to this girl, and I'd do anything for her (which is part of the problem I realize, but she always mentions how lucky she is to have me in her life). Do I say something to her? I can't move on despite my best efforts; our relationship just feels unfinished. I could go into deep detail about how special this girl is to me, but I won't on here haha. **My apologies to mods/admins, I originally posted this in the wrong spot!** Edited August 4, 2011 by clerm27
Bridgey Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 My honest opinion is she doesn't want to be with you. The reason I say this is based on my personal experience. When I broke up with my ex of three years I almost immediately started dating my current boyfriend after knowing him for a few months. I knew he was the person I wanted to be with, I didn't need time to figure myself out, I knew exactly what I wanted. This may not be the case for her, but I would say the fact that she is going on dates with new people is another bad sign. Continuing to be her close friend is only going to make things harder on you. You really like her but you guys can't be together right now. You need to let her go for good. If she realizes she wants to be with you I'm sure she'll know how to find you. Hope this helps some, I know these situations can be really tough.
Author clerm27 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 Thanks for the reply! I kind of figured it would end like this; she wants me to be her friend and nothing more. Guess it's hard to let go of someone you feel strongly about, but I understand what you're saying, I always wanted to hear. It directly from her, but her actions have told me what I need to know. Thanks again!
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