smartblonde Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Dumbest reason for me: Because I don't drink coffee
youngskywalker Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 I've lost many women because I'm not into the club scene. To me it's dumb and superficial but I guess to them it's important in life. I'd like to know how much they go clubbing now, years later, when they're taking care of two kids at home.
LoveandSuch Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 People are funny. I was happy to read an article about a certain group of people and their tiniest bits. Never ever going there:laugh: All people have their oddities when it comes to selection.
LoveandSuch Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Dumbest reason for me: Because I don't drink coffee I believe you dodged a bullet there!
Cee Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 During a first date, a guy said it wouldn't work because I don't do drugs. He certainly dodged a bullet by not getting involved with me.
Hot Chick Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Well...honestly he probably told you the "coffee" reason to avoid telling you the real reason....
alphamale Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 i usually do the breaking up but the 3 or 4 that did break up with me was cause i didn't want to get married and/or have a baby
Nexus One Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) i usually do the breaking up but the 3 or 4 that did break up with me was cause i didn't want to get married and/or have a baby If someone doesn't want to stay with you because you don't want to get married or have children, then they're not with you for YOU in my opinion. Suppose a woman would say to me "I'll leave you if you don't want to have children", then she would be with me because she sees me as a sperm donor, not because she wants to be with ME. The same goes for marriage, which is a legal status. If a woman is so focused on getting that legal status/document and threatens to leave if she doesn't get it, then again, that in my opinion demonstrates she's not with me for ME. If I'm truly head over heels in love with a woman, then things like marriage and children aren't decisive factors in my decision to stay with her or not. I would stay either way, because I'd be with her for HER. Because it is HER that makes me happy and not any other secondary reason/factor. Edited August 4, 2011 by Nexus One
NoReallyThatHappened Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I have a girlfriend who's husband left her after one year of marriage. The reason he said was: she used hairspray. It's not like she didn't use hairspray in the eight years they dated before they got married (they lived together a lot of that time). There was also something about frolicking in fields of daisies I think.
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 That I don't smoke. This dude feels like non-smokers don't get him and smoking is a big part of his life
Emilia Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 If someone doesn't want to stay with you because you don't want to get married or have children, then they're not with you for YOU in my opinion. Suppose a woman would say to me "I'll leave you if you don't want to have children", then she would be with me because she sees me as a sperm donor, not because she wants to be with ME. The same goes for marriage, which is a legal status. If a woman is so focused on getting that legal status/document and threatens to leave if she doesn't get it, then again, that in my opinion demonstrates she's not with me for ME. If I'm truly head over heels in love with a woman, then things like marriage and children aren't decisive factors in my decision to stay with her or not. I would stay either way, because I'd be with her for HER. Because it is HER that makes me happy and not any other secondary reason/factor. No I think you have to know what you want in life and it's not selfish to have a very clear idea of what you want. You can split people in two groups: those that want to get married and have children and those that don't. The two groups have very different values and if you try to mix them it's a disaster because you get unhappy couples. It's a huge decision to have children and it should be the right one, you shouldn't want to have kids only because your wife/gf wants them, on the other hand if someone really wants their own family they shouldn't be deprived of the opportunity to have one or shouldn't be made to give up the chance. This is one of life's biggest decisions.
Mrlonelyone Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Peer pressures. They will clearly like and be into me but break up when the disapproval of friends, and sometimes family, becomes apparent. It takes has taken very strong men (and a few women with guts) to resist that. I will admit I am odd and hard to place in a neat little box of stereotype. This puts off allot of people. Most people do not like having the neat little categories in their world view challenged. Most people are conformist and I am a non conformist. I am a scientist, yet am religious enough to fast during Ramadan, yet transgendered (see here and here), yet also a republican who opposed Obama care, yet I voted for Obama for Senator and president, yet I am multiracial but don't one drop myself as being "just black", yet as a "black" person I like classical music as much as rap, blues, house or Jazz. One person being all of the above is disturbing to many many people. The people who have liked me have liked me for my , yet many also caved to peer pressures in breaking it off with me. That to me is a stupid reason to either break up with or date someone. Friends or family don't have to live with whoever a person dates so why give them the power to decide?
Casablanca Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 That they were moving away to Georgia to live with their mom...but then turned out she isnt moving away...so it wasnt a bad reason until I found out the lie
Mrlonelyone Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 That second to last sentence was supposed to be The people who have liked me have liked me for my unusualness , yet many also caved to peer pressures in breaking it off with me.
SmileFace Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Said I was over 5'5. It just wouldn't work. Didn't bother me, he was a midget at 5'10...lol
Nexus One Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) No I think you have to know what you want in life and it's not selfish to have a very clear idea of what you want. I don't disagree with that, but then indicate that beforehand and not way into the relationship. Suppose I'd be with someone for 3 years and she starts giving such ultimatums, then I'd feel like I have wasted 3 years with someone that doesn't actually want to be with me. I'd be grateful for having a happy time together, but I'd be disappointed to find out that she was with me for other reasons than me. You can split people in two groups: those that want to get married and have children and those that don't. The two groups have very different values and if you try to mix them it's a disaster because you get unhappy couples. Again, I don't disagree with that, but my point is that such ultimatums should be given very early and not later in a relationship. Like you said, it's ok to know what you want out of life, but the same goes for me. I want to be with a woman for her and I want to find someone that wants to be with me for me. It's a huge decision to have children and it should be the right one, you shouldn't want to have kids only because your wife/gf wants them, on the other hand if someone really wants their own family they shouldn't be deprived of the opportunity to have one or shouldn't be made to give up the chance. This is one of life's biggest decisions. I agree with that too, but marriage and children shouldn't be the primary and sole reason for two people to be together in my opinion. In my opinion that's the wrong way to go about things. My point is what it implies when someone says "when you don't give me children, then I'm going to get them from someone else, with or without you" and "if you won't marry me I'll marry another, I get what I want either way, with or without you". It demonstrates that that person is not with you for YOU. That's my point. Edited August 4, 2011 by Nexus One
Emilia Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I dont think it's that simple. As a woman you are taught you scare men off by talking about marriage and children too early. Also, responsibly you need to get to know someone properly before you indicate that kind of commitment. People change too, as they mature, they are more likely to want a family. Plus I think it's a given that most people want a family and that this will come up after a couple of years. I don't think it's a matter of using someone or switching partners easily. Everyone knows it's hard to find the right partner. A woman could argue that if you really loved her, you would want her babies.
Nexus One Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) A woman could argue that if you really loved her, you would want her babies. Again, I agree. But not if the reverse wasn't also true. I could argue that if she really loved me, she wouldn't end the relationship to get pregnant by another guy. It's not so much the baby that's the point, it's her motive for being with me. By putting down an ultimatum like I mentioned in my previous post a woman would demonstrate that she's not with me for me. The wish to have a child should in my opinion be secondary to the wish to be with someone. Love first, then if love-babies come out of that, so be it. I don't like it the other way around where a woman would put down ultimatums like I mentioned in my previous post, as in my opinion it demonstrates that she isn't with me for me. In the latter case her primary goal is to have babies or to get married. So while ultimately both her and I might want the same, she would have her priorities reversed and have me replaced by another guy that does agree to her ultimatum, that doesn't sit well with me. Edited August 4, 2011 by Nexus One
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I agree with Nexus. I know plenty of women that left guys because they were hesitant to get married/have babies only to do it with the first guy who would. Lots of women put marriage and babies above everything else. It's a bit sad, no wonder so many marriages fail.
alphamale Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Lots of women put marriage and babies above everything else. thats the truth sister!
alphamale Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 If I'm truly head over heels in love with a woman, then things like marriage and children aren't decisive factors in my decision to stay with her or not. I would stay either way, because I'd be with her for HER. Because it is HER that makes me happy and not any other secondary reason/factor. don't give me that idealistic baloney
Nexus One Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 don't give me that idealistic baloney Talk for yourself, thank you very much.
Trevorrs Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Ever since Mystery's Tv there has been a lot of guys selling their dating advices it's hard to know whom to choose from, I was on CB baby browsing for music when I came accross this audiobook: (Fear and Your Dating Life) Although I could barely understand his accent but In some of the topic he seemed to be making some senses. Y'all check it out, please tell me if you think it's worth buying, I think there is just many gimmicks out there to make a choice. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Daniel
verhrzn Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 After 6 months, the guy dumped me for being "physically unattractive." Yep. All the other guys were pretty legit and understandable.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Mine was because I had a gay guy friend. Oh well! I loved my friend more!
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