jasperste Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 ..and deal with the fact that I dumped my ex and may now regret it. I posted a thread a while ago about my changing feelings to my current girlfriend. She has no breasts, is completely flat chested and I was seeking advice on whether to dump her or if my lack of attraction was just a phase and would pass. Well it hasn't and I still find her body unattractive and man-like. She is straight up and down with absolutely no curves. No hips, no breasts, even very small nipples. She is very, very thin and even has a boyish face. I am still seeing her. I am coping by learning to love her personality but it's hard as when it comes to sex, my mind is ALWAYS elsewhere. I think that I would rather be in this situation than be single and have to deal with the emotions I have surrounding the break up of my ex. I dumped her for my current girlfriend. I initially wanted a change and after five years I needed a change. I think I am now just not wanting to admit that I made the wrong decision and really need to try to learn to love my new girlfriend's body. I want things to work out between us I really do. She is sensible, mature, stable and in those respects marriage material. My ex was a little off the wall, but far more sexy, unpredictable. Do men ever marry this type? I don't think so. Am I wrong in wanting an easy life? Will I be able to make myself find my girlfriend attractive?
sagetalk Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 My ex was a little off the wall, but far more sexy, unpredictable. Do men ever marry this type? I don't think so. Am I wrong in wanting an easy life? Will I be able to make myself find my girlfriend attractive? It's not fair that usually the hotter they are, the nuttier they are. The more attractive a women is, the more she gets away with in society. It creates some first class, selfish, loonies. If you ever have a daughter that's attractive, do her future husband a huge favor and don't let her get away with anything just because she's pretty. As for your situation, it sounds tough. I've dated girls that I was not that physically attracted to and it was miserable. Not that they weren't ok personality wise (some were not), it was the guilt that got me. Trying to force myself to be attracted to them physically, it takes a toll after a while. I'd say there is more wrong with the relationship than just her looks though. I don't think it's possible for everything else to be right besides looks, and yet you are somewhere else when you are intimate with her. That doesn't add up. Think of some other things that bug you about her and maybe I can give a better answer.
Author jasperste Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 Hmmm well there are a few points to add... I feel bad and feel like I'm clutching at straws but she's quite boring actually. Our conversations are dull though she is a kind, sweet person who has been through a lot in life and has coped really well. She doesn't have an attitude and sees the good in most people. This is a quality I lack-I'm too cynical! However I must admit that I am a bit embarrassed as I am sure people sometimes think that we are a gay couple due to her looks, body and dress sense. Nothing against same sex relationships but I am a hot blooded straight male!! We don't have that much in common apart from the fact that she likes sex and so do I , just not with her. She's also a great cook and has taught me how to cook and eat healthily. She is also very close to her family, I am not and again I admire this. I look forward to seeing her as she is so nice to me, always really happy to see me. Her warmth makes me feel good about myself - I just don't find her attractive!!! Sorry if it's all a bit jumbled - reflects my thoughts.
iris219 Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 It sounds like you need to be alone for awhile in order to figure out what you want in a woman and in a relationship.
grkBoy Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 ..and deal with the fact that I dumped my ex and may now regret it. I posted a thread a while ago about my changing feelings to my current girlfriend. She has no breasts, is completely flat chested and I was seeking advice on whether to dump her or if my lack of attraction was just a phase and would pass. Well it hasn't and I still find her body unattractive and man-like. She is straight up and down with absolutely no curves. No hips, no breasts, even very small nipples. She is very, very thin and even has a boyish face. I am still seeing her. I am coping by learning to love her personality but it's hard as when it comes to sex, my mind is ALWAYS elsewhere. I think that I would rather be in this situation than be single and have to deal with the emotions I have surrounding the break up of my ex. I dumped her for my current girlfriend. I initially wanted a change and after five years I needed a change. I think I am now just not wanting to admit that I made the wrong decision and really need to try to learn to love my new girlfriend's body. I want things to work out between us I really do. She is sensible, mature, stable and in those respects marriage material. My ex was a little off the wall, but far more sexy, unpredictable. Do men ever marry this type? I don't think so. Am I wrong in wanting an easy life? Will I be able to make myself find my girlfriend attractive? OK...let me ask you this: Why did you even start with her if you don't find her attractive? Did you ever find her attractive? Like she's cute, nice personality, sweet, etc...but she's not "curvy" enough for you now? Let's me blunt here. I used to be attractive to slender brunettes with long hair who have nice chests. My GF has shorter blonde hair and smaller breasts. Did I settle? No. I realized boobs and hair and such are meaningless if the girls who fit your physical standards end up being flakes, psychos, or b***hes. If you "settled" on this girl to just have someone, then you're being a fool, and you hurt this woman by leading her on. If you really found something attractive about her, but now wish you had a "hotter" girl, then you're being an idiot in throwing away someone good just to chase fantasies. Based on your last reply...it sounds like you settled on her when you were not into her to begin with. She was just convenient. Don't ever do that again.
Author jasperste Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 I know I am feeling in a real mess. It was a one night stand that just carried on. I had no intention of starting a relationship with her but we have mutual friends and I found out two days after we slept together that she had told our friends we were seeing each other. I'm stupid I know but I just went along with things. The first night we had sex I was drunk. Then when we did it again I was sober. Should I have ended it there? Well I didn't I spent time getting to know her and found out she had a nice personality and was really really into me. I amy be elsewhere during sex but she gets really into it and to a certain extent her enthusiasm is a huge turn on. It is now the case that I have met her friends, her family who have all in 'pleasant'ways warned me that Id better treat her right. I am a little worried what their reaction may be should I dump her. I know I need to 'man up' and do the right thing but I am hoping that I will wake up one morning and think wow when I look at her body.
Author jasperste Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 Also I just want to add that I did have a beautiful girlfriend with very small breasts before. She had a beautiful, petite body, very slim. The difference here is that my current girlfriend has no breasts at all. In a t shirt she is completely flat looking. She has no ass, no curves in the hip at all. Her legs are also straight up, same width for thigh and calf. There are no curves to her body at all.
grkBoy Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 If it's done and over with, let the ex go and move on. Even you wanting her back seems more about convenience to you than actual love. Pick up the pieces, move on, and don't ever date someone out of convenience.
Eddie Edirol Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Instead of settling with this girlfriend, why dont you do some research to learn how to get the woman you really want? You find that out, you will learn how to prevent the nutty ones from being nutty.
FitChick Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Buy the girlfriend breast implants. I have a friend who is afraid to be alone. She married a man for that reason and has been miserable ever since. Her husband is miserable as well because he loves her but knows she doesn't care about him. Some people are selfish.
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