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Going to pledge to my ex,give her a ring. Want some oppinions...

proteinshake25

By proteinshake25
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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proteinshake25 Established Member

proteinshake25

Posted
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I left my ex, had a case of GIGS. I've written her texts,emails,etc. She was crazy for me in the relationship, and really wanted to get married. I've dated 4 other girls since our breakup. During every single one, it made me miss my ex even more. She is the sole woman I want to marry. We both deserve each other, and she deserves a guy who was as loyal and committed as I was even when she was having health issues, and I was in college. I screwed up, but I sincerely believe both of us will loose, if we are not together. I wrote a letter describing my thoughts and actions during the breakup, I was gonna mail it, but my Mom, gave me the idea, that my ex wanted me more than anyone, but just never got the commitment of marriage. My mom reccommended I go there and give her the 1 thing that was missing. I think it's worth a shot, and I can atleast deliver my letter.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted

That kind of stunt only works in the movies.

 

If you want her back then talk to her. Giving her a ring will not make your relationship any better.

Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

Posted
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Mate she has moved on. There is no point in locking the gate after the horse has already bolted. Sometimes we only get one shot. Her faith and trust in you is probably gone and when a woman puts up an emotional wall, it aint ever coming down. I'd be amazed if you get the answer you are looking for. Indeed prepare for the opposite reaction, to what is in your head. I do not agree with your mothers advice her..

 

Hope I am wrong but I doubt it..This is too little too late

cantaloupe Member

cantaloupe

Posted
Posted

I actually know a couple that this worked for. Guy #1 broke up with girl to go explore, she got engaged to guy #2 within a year. Guy #1 wanted her back, proposed to her, and they've been married for decades.

 

If you really want to do it, give it a shot. However, I strongly advise not getting your hopes up. I think it you really wanted her back you'd have a stronger shot of just trying to talk and work things out with her. Then if the two of you made up there would be a stable foundation for an actual relationship.

KathyM Established Member

KathyM

Posted
Posted
I left my ex, had a case of GIGS. I've written her texts,emails,etc. She was crazy for me in the relationship, and really wanted to get married. I've dated 4 other girls since our breakup. During every single one, it made me miss my ex even more. She is the sole woman I want to marry. We both deserve each other, and she deserves a guy who was as loyal and committed as I was even when she was having health issues, and I was in college. I screwed up, but I sincerely believe both of us will loose, if we are not together. I wrote a letter describing my thoughts and actions during the breakup, I was gonna mail it, but my Mom, gave me the idea, that my ex wanted me more than anyone, but just never got the commitment of marriage. My mom reccommended I go there and give her the 1 thing that was missing. I think it's worth a shot, and I can atleast deliver my letter.

I suggest you try to get the relationship back together before presenting any ring. Going from breakup status to coming out with a ring is too much pressure for her. She may not want you back if you decided she wasn't good enough the first time around. It makes her feel that as soon as something better comes along, you're going to want out. You just didn't find something better during this breakup. Start by trying to reconcile, letting her know what a big mistake it was to leave her, and that she's the best thing that ever happened to you, and you were a fool not to realize it. Get the relationship back together, and then when it is solid again, then present the ring.

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proteinshake25 Established Member

proteinshake25

Posted
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I appreciate hearing some hopefull responses. Kathy, I have tried to reconcile with her. The advice I was given is that she will not take me back, fearing that I'd just leave her again. Showing a ring or some promise of commitment to marriage is the 1 thing I never did, even though we did talk a little about getting married. You miss 100% of the shots you never take, so I gotta do it. I'd plan on proposing again in a more rational way, if we got back together.

lapse Established Member

lapse

Posted
Posted
I appreciate hearing some hopefull responses. Kathy, I have tried to reconcile with her. The advice I was given is that she will not take me back, fearing that I'd just leave her again. Showing a ring or some promise of commitment to marriage is the 1 thing I never did, even though we did talk a little about getting married. You miss 100% of the shots you never take, so I gotta do it. I'd plan on proposing again in a more rational way, if we got back together.

 

Now, look. I'm all for doing what you think is best. If you think there's a shot, go with it. Do what ya need to do.

 

Nonetheless, this last part - the bolded part - that gives me pause. What the hell do you mean, you'll propose again? This implies you don't mean it... it's not a *real* proposal... it's a *tool* to get her back. If you're gonna propose, propose dammit.

 

Is this the kind of wishy washy junk that ran her off in the first place?

 

Not being ugly to you. I'm just saying... look at how you're thinking about this and make sure you're sincere if you're going to do it.

Kilty Established Member

Kilty

Posted
Posted

I suggest you take a long step back and decide is this what you really want or whether you are just doing this to get her back - and after a few months dump her again.

 

The reason you take a step back and think is because she might say yes

 

Then what are you going to do ???

 

Are you going to set a date ?

 

Are you going to go through the expense of a wedding ?

 

Are you happy with the thought of spending the rest of your life with this girl ?

 

Or do you think she will be happy with the ring and just forget about the actual wedding for a while - meantime you have no real intentions of going through with it and are just doing this to get her back.

 

I said to you in your very first post to have a long hard search as to why you dumped her in the first place - and went with not only one girl since then but 4

 

I think the reasons are that this girl is not for you and that is why you did what you did.

 

Only you will know but i suggest you do take that step back before doing anything daft.

 

This is not advice for her rejecting your proposal - this is advice for her accepting it.

 

And it would be mightily cruel if you were not doing this with the proper intentions or meaning and you could really crush this girl if you get her back and let her down

 

So have a good long think of what you are about to do

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted

my ex told me she wanted nothing more than to marry me and have kids.

 

3 months later (during ups and downs and not fully together) she rejects my proposal with "that's not what i want anymore."

 

i can recommend Jared's. maybe overpriced, but you've got a 30 day return policy.

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