bama_bbq Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 I met this girl online a couple months ago who lives a little over an hour away. We had our first date (dinner) three weeks ago when I was driving through her town anyway on my home. During the date, I actually thought she was completely uninterested because there were a couple of awkward pauses and I felt like she was sometimes avoiding eye contact. So I hugged her instead of kissed her at the end (figured no point in trying if she hated me anyway), headed home expecting to never hear from her again. A couple hours later, she texted me saying she was sorry if she seemed kinda nervous, that she had a good time, and asked if I got home okay. So I thought, hey maybe she was just nervous and actually was interested. Next weekend I asked if she'd like to meet for lunch halfway between us, and she said yes, and then canceled the day before. No excuse, just "can't drive there Sunday." So "no worries!" and decided she really was uninterested. Then a few days later she asked me if I'd like to go to a concert with her (same town halfway between us) the following weekend. I said sure, we went, had a good time, and a reasonably good conversation afterward. There was an awkward moment when a drunk audience member (stranger) asked if we were a couple, and she quickly said "no ... I mean, we've been seeing each other." I just laughed. At the end, I said I had a good time, hugged her, pulled back and tried to kiss her and missed on the corner of her mouth (stupid I know). She laughed and asked "was that a hug or ..." and then I just gave her a quick peck on the lips and said, "alright, see you later" and left her car (I was in her car because she gave me a ride to my car, parked kinda far away). I was kicking myself afterward for screwing that kiss up. Anyway, a couple days later I asked her if she'd like to go bowling the next weekend, and she said "depends where." So I took that as a hint that she didn't want to drive. Maybe I'm weak, but I suggested an alley in her town on Sunday morning, and she said "sounds good ... see ya then." The next day, she told me she replied without thinking and that she was actually busy Sunday (nothing specific). Again I said "no worries." Is her canceling these dates her way of saying she's not interested? Part of me believes she's actually telling the truth, since the first time she canceled she asked me out a couple days later. And if she just wasn't interested I don't see why she'd go through the trouble of agreeing and canceling twice instead of just saying she was busy the first time. On the other hand, she didn't suggest rescheduling (nor did I), so ... that would indicate she's not interested.
Zaphod B Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I would say there's still hope, especially seeing as she has invited you out. Seems like she's just the nervous type. Don't give up yet. Maybe give her one more chance. If she cancels again then forget about it. Let her contact you.
LoveandSuch Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 It seems she is interested, but is holding back some. She sounds nervous and is having a hard time with being close with you intimately. Ask her why she is holding back. It might open up misunderstandings.
Author bama_bbq Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 Zaphod, when you say "let her contact you," are you saying after I ask her out one more time? Or stop contacting her now, and if she texts me, then ask her out? LoveandSuch, I don't know about confronting her about it.... Seems like it could scare her off, especially if she has actually been telling the truth about the cancellations. I'm starting to think she might actually not like my ideas for what to do on the date, since she cancelled the second one, then asked me on a different one, and now she cancelled this one. My current plan is to wait another week or so before contacting her again, since I'm very busy this weekend anyway. I'm a little hesitant/nervous about her too actually. She seems like the kind of girl I could actually really develop feelings for, but I'm not sure I want to let myself do that since she lives so far away and she seems so skittish.
Zaphod B Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) After one more attempt from you. Your current plan sounds good, because you'll have given it a few days and won't appear desperate. Edited August 4, 2011 by Zaphod B
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