counterman Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Hi, I created a thread earlier about a girl I met last week. We clicked really well and I set up a date after we spoke. We were meant to meet tomorrow but when I called her yesterday, it went straight to voicemail. Today she sent me a text saying that she's got a job interview and asked if we can "meet" in a week's time... Now, prior to this, she didn't respond to a couple of my text messages. So, I don't know if she's just trying to let me down soft... qnd is actually not that interested in me. What should I text her back? I mean, I feel all that emotional momentum we gained would be gone by the time we meet; I was really looking forward to it and im not sure that she is. Plus, she might be seeing means a friend whereas I want to date her. Nevertheless, I will be asking other girls out in the meanwhile.
Author counterman Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 I think she is busy looking for work as well as juggling her studies. I am struggling a bit myself. I guess I was being a bit selfish in not considering what's happening with her... I don't think she's in that head space at the moment and I think when she does get a job, she'll feel better about a lot of things, including dating... We really got along that's all and it'll be a shame if it just ended with the first meeting. So, what do you think I should do? I've only recently started to date again...
Hot Chick Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 When I am in "job search mode" periods in my life, I am really not into dating too much. That is my soul focus.....could be that she is preoccupied with that, or not interested. It's one or the other. But if you do meet in a week's time, that is not such a long amount of time that it would take away any of the momentum or excitement. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, actually!
chickchef Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 i will not sugar coat it. girls have time if they are into someone, just like guys do. IF they really like someone no work, school, kids ect will stand in the way of them making an effort to see you. If she isn't calling and only texting then yes shes not that interested. She is probably keeping you on the back burner incase whoever else she is dating falls through. SO dont text her or call her and maybe your lack of interest will make her more interested. The more guys chase a girl the less interested they become. Unfortunately nice guys finish last. The ones who treat girls like they dont really care end up getting the girls. Everyone likes the chase, play hard to get...
Author counterman Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 When I am in "job search mode" periods in my life, I am really not into dating too much. That is my soul focus.....could be that she is preoccupied with that, or not interested. It's one or the other. But if you do meet in a week's time, that is not such a long amount of time that it would take away any of the momentum or excitement. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, actually! Thanks for sharing that - it is definitely one or the other. And maybe after a week, she will actually want to meet up with me. I mean, she was the one that asked for my number and even said you can call me to hang out anytime. But I've also considered this: i will not sugar coat it. girls have time if they are into someone, just like guys do. IF they really like someone no work, school, kids ect will stand in the way of them making an effort to see you. If she isn't calling and only texting then yes shes not that interested. She is probably keeping you on the back burner incase whoever else she is dating falls through. SO dont text her or call her and maybe your lack of interest will make her more interested. The more guys chase a girl the less interested they become. Unfortunately nice guys finish last. The ones who treat girls like they dont really care end up getting the girls. Everyone likes the chase, play hard to get... The thing is if she wants to see me, why wouldn't she try to schedule something closer to the date we were suppose to meet? I don't want her to go out of her way to meet me. If she wants to see me then good. If she doesn't, then that's fine also. I just don't want to be floating around as an option for her. On the other hand, searching for a job does seem to be extremely important for her at the moment and it should be. I don't know, I am really interested in this girl but I also need... something. At least to know that she's still interested in me. I might ask another girl out and meet up with this girl and see what happens. In the mean time, I shouldn't text her at all? Not even to acknowledge her question asking whether we can meet up next week?
Author counterman Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 If has been almost a day since she sent me that message. Should I reply with that it's okay?
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 i will not sugar coat it. girls have time if they are into someone, just like guys do. IF they really like someone no work, school, kids ect will stand in the way of them making an effort to see you. If she isn't calling and only texting then yes shes not that interested. She is probably keeping you on the back burner incase whoever else she is dating falls through. SO dont text her or call her and maybe your lack of interest will make her more interested. The more guys chase a girl the less interested they become. Unfortunately nice guys finish last. The ones who treat girls like they dont really care end up getting the girls. Everyone likes the chase, play hard to get... This. In fact, if I had a job interview coming up, I would want to schedule my date before that for two reasons -- a) to blow off steam and take the anxiety off by going out and doing something fun, which would put me in a better frame of mind for the interview and b) to practice my "interview" skills since a first date is in essence similar to an interview. So what the above poster said is correct, she's not interested.
Author counterman Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 This. In fact, if I had a job interview coming up, I would want to schedule my date before that for two reasons -- a) to blow off steam and take the anxiety off by going out and doing something fun, which would put me in a better frame of mind for the interview and b) to practice my "interview" skills since a first date is in essence similar to an interview. So what the above poster said is correct, she's not interested. The thing is she rescheduled a day before, so there's no possible way to reschedule before our actual date. But I'm thinking she's not interested as well. But what I should text her I I should at all?
Imajerk17 Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 (edited) Who cares whether or not she is interested? You only care whether she meets up with you, which is where you see how the two of you get along. Maybe the offer for interview just came up. Text her back: "Sure no prob on rescheduling. Good luck on your interview!" Edited August 3, 2011 by Imajerk17
Author counterman Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 Who cares whether or not she is interested? You only care whether she meets up with you, which is where you see how the two of you get along. Maybe the offer for interview just came up. Text her back: "Sure no prob on rescheduling. Good luck on your interview!" Thanks! That's what I wanted to send originally. Hopefully I thank you for that later:p
olivec Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 shes blowing you off man i wouldn't bother. I recently met this chick a few weeks ago through a friend. she seemed cool when we all hung out even gave me her number and we texted for a bit. However I asked her to hangout on two separate times and both times she made excuses so i'm done with her. Like others have said if a girl wants you she'll ask you if your free. Dont text her no more unless she contacts you first.
Hot Chick Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 i will not sugar coat it. girls have time if they are into someone, just like guys do. IF they really like someone no work, school, kids ect will stand in the way of them making an effort to see you. If she isn't calling and only texting then yes shes not that interested. She is probably keeping you on the back burner incase whoever else she is dating falls through. SO dont text her or call her and maybe your lack of interest will make her more interested. The more guys chase a girl the less interested they become. Unfortunately nice guys finish last. The ones who treat girls like they dont really care end up getting the girls. Everyone likes the chase, play hard to get... Nah, if a guy a woman is interested in is "chasing" (pursuing) her, then she will become more interested. I disagree, I really don't want to make time for dating when I am job searching. It's tough for me mentally and emotionally, so I will have to disagree, I would probably turn the most amazing guy I had great chemistry with down, if I were looking for work. Or I might act as she did and put it off for a week...I say there's still hope for you.
Author counterman Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 Well I ended up sending her a text, similar to what Imajerk17 suggested. Whether she is interested or not, doesn't matter; I've got other things to do. If she is, great. If she isn't, then she isn't. So, I told her that it was okay to reschedule to next week. I don't think I will be contacting her in the meantime but with regards to the date, should I confirm or provide the details? And when?
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