headsinclouds Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I'm still not over the guy I had an on again off again FWB with for a year. I've been in NC for 3 weeks. I ended up meeting a new friend and we totally hit it off. It turns out she's the girl that he was in love with and she invited me to her birthday party Saturday....and it is at his house. He's throwing her a birthday party. I can't believe it, it strikes home how little he cared about me. He didn't even wish me a happy birthday this year because we were in the middle of NC due to a fight. Torn up. Crying. Feel so unloved and uncared for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author headsinclouds Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Just to clarify, they haven't dated for a few years, she doesn't live in town. Link to post Share on other sites
Author headsinclouds Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Lame. I post my thoughts on the internet with no reply. My life is a ****ing joke. Link to post Share on other sites
light_vader Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Lame. I post my thoughts on the internet with no reply. My life is a ****ing joke. It's a forum, not a chatroom. From what I see you need to start looking at your self-esteem issues first. Look, we all can improve ourselves, and it's unrealistic to think that our exes won't do those things they never... did for us. Which would be like saying that WE can't improve as well. I know there were things I didn't do for my ex when we were together, but some of those I'm sure I will with the next lucky lady that crosses my path, because well... I have improved a lot since the breakup. I know the feeling since my ex always sucked at my birthdays, I always felt uncared for on those. Will she be the same with the guy she's with now (the guy she cheated on me with)? I don't know and I certainly don't care! It's her life and I have no business in there, thankfully now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author headsinclouds Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thank you for replying. I'm so lucky to never have been cheated on (that I know of, ha) so I'm sorry that happened to you. Link to post Share on other sites
light_vader Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I'm not sorry it happened, otherwise I wouldn't had been able to improve my life the way I have been Sooner or later you will understand the key is to start focusing on YOU. Whatever he's doing with whoever he's doing, is none of your concern now, even if you occasionally have to "forcefully" witness some of it, like you just did. Link to post Share on other sites
The Lonely Angel Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Don't worry about it. Atleast you've been in love! I've loved this girl for 4 years - yeah, FOUR years - WITHOUT her ever loving me back. Just know that there are better people out there and keep your head held high. Oh, and go to the party and flirt with other guys to really p*ss of your ex. Hehehe, good luck =D P.S: Reason no one replies is mostly due to poor timing in your posts. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 ouch! i'm really sorry to hear that. i was FWB situation that lasted 2.5 years. i had begged him for a relationship. he refused saying he wasn't ready for one. anyway, eventually he decided he was ready for a relationship; only not with me. he cut off the benefits so could start looking for "the one". i tried being friends with him but just couldn't do it and went back to NC five months ago. as for how to handle the situation with this girl and her party. i would politely decline (or if you already accepted, just tell her something came up). giving her the history is just going to open up a whole other can of worms. and to be fair ,it's not really her issue or problem. right now you need to be concerned with your feelings and your healing. so just take it easy and don't go. it's only going to stir up more emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author headsinclouds Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Yes, he gave me the whole thing about not being ready for a relationship and he has commitment issues due to this girl cheating on him, yet he drops everything to throw her a party. I've never cheated on anyone, I know I'm attractive and have a lot to offer, and I can't even seem to establish a real relationship. It really makes me feel terrible, I don't understand it. And no, I'm definitely not going to the party. I would rather poke my eyes out with a fork. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 oh whatever dont talk to him or that girl, dont even go to that party. you have some other parties to go to dont you? Link to post Share on other sites
The Lonely Angel Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Yes, he gave me the whole thing about not being ready for a relationship and he has commitment issues due to this girl cheating on him, yet he drops everything to throw her a party. I've never cheated on anyone, I know I'm attractive and have a lot to offer, and I can't even seem to establish a real relationship. It really makes me feel terrible, I don't understand it. And no, I'm definitely not going to the party. I would rather poke my eyes out with a fork. Haha, you don't need to. Just let the guy know that you're fine WITHOUT him and that you're happy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author headsinclouds Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 I've seen them together twice now so they're probably dating again. I thought she and I were beginning to be friends but last time I saw her she was completely rude and standoffish to me. I can't seem to get out of my head and have been barely functioning. I keep thinking, he never cared about me, he's saying bad things about me to her, no one likes me, etc. I feel so depressed, please give me some advice on how to get over this. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 ahh -- i take it she found out about you two. honestly. i would suggest just steering clear of any places you may run the risk of bumping into those two - - if that's possible (and i'm hoping it is). some people may call it avoidance i call it self-preservation also - - try not to think too much about what he may or more not be telling her about you. it really doesn't matter. i too had a hard time dealing with those negative thought patterns (i.e. he never loved me, no one will ever love me, etc) they can be hard to shake. but they will go away with time. i would also suggest making a list of the things you don't miss about him and - - more specifically - - how he treated you and keep it with you. next time a negative thought comes to you -- refer to that list. would you really want to be with someone who treated you like that? and who still is treating you like this? does he even deserve to be with you after all that? once you start taking him off that pedestal it will get easier. just hang in there. and feel free to post here on LS when you need to vent/advice Link to post Share on other sites
Author headsinclouds Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 I just wanted to provide an update on this. He totally turned this girl against me and she or he have obviously been saying bad things about me to other people. I tried to talk to him about it and asked him to call me and he did. We had a long talk that went south pretty quickly. He started saying she was his best friend and I was just trying to get close to him, which is pretty messed up. And untrue. He ended up yelling at me and told me to leave him alone and he was going to delete me from Facebook. I texted him and told him I really cared about him and I was sorry that he had the wrong impression, I would respect his wishes and leave him alone. A week or so goes by. He doesn't delete me from Facebook. He keeps posting attractive photos of himself. I then see him Friday night. He waves and smiles at me. I waved back but then walked away because he told me to leave him alone. The next day he deleted me from Facebook. I was so upset that I sent an email saying how I felt like he has treated me like ****, I don't deserve this treatment, I don't talk badly about him to other people out of respect for him and I wish I had never met him. I know that last bit is harsh. He wrote me back and said go ahead and talk ****, but leave me alone. This is so wrong. I've been crying for the last 2 weeks, barely able to eat, self-medicating by drinking too much, having trouble sleeping. I see this person all the time and we have the same friends and he has basically slandered me, made me feel like I want to avoid all social situations, etc. I put up with this guy for a year, telling me how scared he was to get hurt, telling me how sensitive he is, how he cares for me so much, etc. and he turns around and stabs me in the back like this? I know this situation is overly dramatic but it's wearing me down immensely and I need help. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 oh wow. sounds like things went from bad to worse. i would strongly suggest counseling if you can get it. this guy is bad news all around. anytime you give him attention, you're giving him more power to hurt you. i'm not sure how old everyone involved it but his behavior sounds close to bullying. not only has he turned his gf against you it sounds like he's working on turning your friends against you as well. this is highly immature, selfish behavior and the mark of a person who is clearly lacks self-esteem and has to demean others in order to feel better. and for him, it means badmouthing you to anyone who will listen. so yeah, seek counseling. post here as often as you need to and - - this goes without saying but stay away from the alcohol. not only does it cloud your judgement but it's also a depressant and it's going to make you feel even worse. Link to post Share on other sites
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