Wolf18 Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Girl 1 hit off really well, we both had fun and when I made my move : "I don't know if you would be loyal to me in a relationship" (this is out of left field, I never gave her a reason to think I'm a womanizer etc). I smelled bull**** and a "nice rejection". I stuck around a bit more to see if she'd come arond, no dice. Girl 2 got real close, talked to her every day for hours and spent entire weeks together. It got intimate at some points but then she said that she couldn't be with me because of my view of the family (mind you , she is 19 and I'm 22) and that she wishes she didnt have so many guys to choose from (she has 2 other orbiters floating around). Still know her and see her all the time, but I've finally given up after hearing that she screwed one of those other guys while being all frigid with me. I smell bull**** again, just another nice way to reject me for something else? Girl 3 met her yesterday, she is a friend of a friend and is very lonely as she is a recent transplant to my city, she is also 7 years older than me. She asked me to keep her company and I did, we had quite a bit of fun but I did get a bit too "grabby" I suppose haha, she didn't mind it at first but later started freaking out and saying "STOP" (I wasnt exactly forcing my hand down her panties, simply had my arm around her). We got pretty drunk and she said "I'm going to do something stupid tonight" over and over, I took it as her wanting to have sex but i didn't want to take advantage of her she was heavily intoxicated. Then finally she said " you're too young for me!". Are these excuses truly legitimate, or just nice ways of saying "I'm not attracted to you"? I think its the latter, my friends who are open womanizers dont encounter this, another friend is dating a woman 8 years older, and the guy who is sleeping with Girl 2 is the biggest misogynist i've ever met. After happening 3 times in a row, I dont think its a coincidence or bad luck , simply that I'm just unattractive. I'm considering to stop trying to go only for girls that I have things in common (since they're few and far between) with and can talk to intellectually and just start going for any girl I think is hot. I'm thinking that even if I am simply sexually unattractive, if I just start asking every girl out 1 will eventually say yes and at the very least I can get laid. What do you guys think?
ptp Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 From a male's perspective, women are just a numbers game. I wouldn't take too much away from 3 random girl rejections. Have you had GFs in the past? If you did they obviously thought you were attractive. Don't get discouraged and keep trying until you find the one that is sane, nice and into you.
Author Wolf18 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 From a male's perspective, women are just a numbers game. I wouldn't take too much away from 3 random girl rejections. Have you had GFs in the past? If you did they obviously thought you were attractive. Don't get discouraged and keep trying until you find the one that is sane, nice and into you. Nah, I've never had a girlfriend, and I'm 22 which is pretty damn alarming. It always happens to me that I think I'm doing well with a girl and can sense that she wants me (no, I dont mean a girl thats just nice to me and me taking it as meaning something else, I mean actually showing me all the signs of a girl thats attracted), then when I make a move they drop the friends zone bomb. I know it's a numbers game but my problem is I have trouble becomming interested in girls who have little to nothing in common with me. Most don't. There's only a small portion of girls who get my sense of humor, like to talk about history and philosophy, and enjoy having adventures and exploring. So I'm in a pretty bad pickle. I'm thinking that I should just save my interests for my male friends and simply be an "average guy" around women, I think I might have to tone down or even throw out my personality in order to be able to get to know a larger portion of women.
Author Wolf18 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 Call me arrogant or a jerk, but how can a girl logically go from talking about nietszche and buddhism (the mutual interests of one of these girls and me) with me for 3 hours and throwing tarot cards in an abandoned warehouse we snuck into, to sitting on the couch in front of the TV with a 24 year old man who thinks skateboarding is a topic worthy of conversation and still pick the second one? The only explanation I can come up with is that its about looks and money.
somedude81 Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Yes women are very shallow. A man's looks will not be noticed unless he is far above average or far below. Even being called cute, handsome or good looking is not enough. Only words like sexy, hot, and gorgeous matter. And of course, looks trump everything.
Author Wolf18 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 I wish they would just be upfront about it. If you don't find me good looking enough to date, that's your right, however why make up things about my personality? The one that claimed I would never be loyal to her, well I showed her with my actions that I would over time, and still nothing, all she did was waste my time with that crap. I feel pretty frustrated, I wish someone would just give me an arranged marriage so I could spend my time thinking about more interesting things that don't have to do with getting over this incredible hurdle in my life.
somedude81 Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 why make up things about my personality? It's because they don't want to admit to being shallow about looks. They just say it's your personality so they don't feel bad.
Easyguy14 Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 I wish they would just be upfront about it. If you don't find me good looking enough to date, that's your right, however why make up things about my personality? The one that claimed I would never be loyal to her, well I showed her with my actions that I would over time, and still nothing, all she did was waste my time with that crap. I feel pretty frustrated, I wish someone would just give me an arranged marriage so I could spend my time thinking about more interesting things that don't have to do with getting over this incredible hurdle in my life. oh dont we long for the days of arranged marriages....
Author Wolf18 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 oh dont we long for the days of arranged marriages.... It would just be so much easier and desirable. You can keep chasing the 10 out of 10 hot girl at the bar and playing the odds (of 1 out of 1,000,000) that she'll sleep with you if you choose, all I want is a nice regular girl whose loyal to me and easy going. Too bad everything nowadays is centered around adult ADD where you need to have an "immediate" connection and if its not originally there you don't give the person a second chance (women especially). With an arranged marriage, you are essentially forced to love the other person.
Easyguy14 Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 It would just be so much easier and desirable. You can keep chasing the 10 out of 10 hot girl at the bar and playing the odds (of 1 out of 1,000,000) that she'll sleep with you if you choose, all I want is a nice regular girl whose loyal to me and easy going. Too bad everything nowadays is centered around adult ADD where you need to have an "immediate" connection and if its not originally there you don't give the person a second chance (women especially). With an arranged marriage, you are essentially forced to love the other person. wouldn't say you're forced to love the other person, but you're forced to give them a chance to develop that love. makes more sense. I think the problem today with people is that there's too many options and too much fear of being in love, a big risk, and then losing that love the next second. so we get people playing games with each other all the time and looking for reasons to not give someone a chance. it mostly centers around fear.
Monm82 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 wouldn't say you're forced to love the other person, but you're forced to give them a chance to develop that love. makes more sense. I think the problem today with people is that there's too many options and too much fear of being in love, a big risk, and then losing that love the next second. so we get people playing games with each other all the time and looking for reasons to not give someone a chance. it mostly centers around fear. Yeah, good points.
patagonia Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Nah, I've never had a girlfriend, and I'm 22 which is pretty damn alarming. It always happens to me that I think I'm doing well with a girl and can sense that she wants me (no, I dont mean a girl thats just nice to me and me taking it as meaning something else, I mean actually showing me all the signs of a girl thats attracted), then when I make a move they drop the friends zone bomb. I know it's a numbers game but my problem is I have trouble becomming interested in girls who have little to nothing in common with me. Most don't. There's only a small portion of girls who get my sense of humor, like to talk about history and philosophy, and enjoy having adventures and exploring. So I'm in a pretty bad pickle. I'm thinking that I should just save my interests for my male friends and simply be an "average guy" around women, I think I might have to tone down or even throw out my personality in order to be able to get to know a larger portion of women. I didnt have a gf yet either by the time I was 22. I still try to figure out if women look at me because i'm funny looking or attractive
somedude81 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Having arranged marriages or match makers would definitely be a great thing. Women seem to have serious issues with chosing the guy they like. Did anybody see the last episode of the Bachelorette? I was thinking WTF when she let the long hair guy go. She got along great with him and her family loved him. When her sister met the other guy, the first thing she said was, "He's not the one." If her family had any say, they would have chosen the long haired dude; who was obviously the right match for her.
patagonia Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Having arranged marriages or match makers would definitely be a great thing. Women seem to have serious issues with chosing the guy they like. Did anybody see the last episode of the Bachelorette? I was thinking WTF when she let the long hair guy go. She got along great with him and her family loved him. When her sister met the other guy, the first thing she said was, "He's not the one." If her family had any say, they would have chosen the long haired dude; who was obviously the right match for her. Lets keep in mind the Bachelorette isn't exactly 'real life'
somedude81 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Lets keep in mind the Bachelorette isn't exactly 'real life' I know it's not. But it's another example of how women do things that just don't make any sense. Things would just work so much easier if a woman's family set her up with a guy and not really care about what she wants, as long as he meets her requirements and is a good guy. Forget about the chemistry nonsense.
counterman Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I feel for you, man. I'm in a situation now where I don't know where I stand with this girl. We obviously click really well... but something is holding her back. Anyways, keep plowing through. You're not in a bad position compared to some of my friends around your age who don't even talk to girls and wouldn't have a clue what to do. Hard to figure out what's going on in a woman's mind, nearly impossible actually, so best you can do is keep meeting the girls and dating. By the way, I get really exhausted after a couple of these incidents happen, but lately I've been learning to just have fun with it and not analyse too much. Sometimes I take a step back and just enjoy the company of friends.
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