patagonia Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 I just wanted to let everyone know that if you are struggling, I promise You can make it through. I just got through with a divorce in November, tried to work on things afterwards(I was the divorcer) and she took me back, only to play me and dump me(I watched her start a new relationship). My heart was torn apart. Being married and knowing someone for so long is not easy to get them out of your life. But the good news is, is that you can do it!!! Don't tell yourself You can't take it, it's too much, your heart hurts too much, etc etc... Trust me, we have all been through it. I've done NC with my ex...who cried MORE than I did at the airport and she told ME to go home!! You think it's hard to not talk to your ex bf/gf...it's just as hard to not talk to your ex wife/husband"first love"...keep your heads up. Set goals, get busy with your life, make new friends. I've been 'home' for a week now. I have no friends, no job, still unpacking my stuff...I've got to start over. Everyday for You is a new day. Away from the old and onto the new. You think you aren't healing..you are. You think you aren't moving forward? You are! "Take control of YOUR life...Don't let other people's bad behavior hold you back." Keep your head up and keep truckin'!!! You can do it!
reimeivn Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 thank you for posting this. I am trying my best to start over. I dont want to talk to the ex. Or be back with him. I just somehow feel like people dont like me. I go everywhere I see people that used to be mutual friends. Lots of them hurt my feelings, but its not their faults, its mainly my ex. Still, none of them are my friend now. I feel very lonely. But i ll try my best to be brave.
opvv Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Great post, thanks so much It is hard but its doable.
Author patagonia Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 Starting over sucks. Watching my ex wife go from, "Hey I want you here and I wanna work on our new beginnings", to dating a guy in front of my face and knowing she says he's the best in the world, hurts... We have all experienced hurt and it sucks. Great thing is, we can use it to our advantage. Use that hurt to be better and stronger. Let it put a flame under your butt to carry you to a new level. Let it become a flame in your heart to help others or be smarter for the next time around...for life. It's worth it.
reimeivn Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 ya what the hell, sometimes when my head is clear and i am strong enough i am like, heck, why do i get upset with this. i dont want him, i am fine. i want somebody else. ridiculous i was sad when he left me, he adds little values to my life anyways.
Author patagonia Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 ya what the hell, sometimes when my head is clear and i am strong enough i am like, heck, why do i get upset with this. i dont want him, i am fine. i want somebody else. ridiculous i was sad when he left me, he adds little values to my life anyways. No kidding! In one sense I have to tell myself these things as a coping mechanism but on the other hand a lot of it is truth we just hate to actually admit it or haven't yet come to the realization of it yet. The fact is, there are 6 billion people in this world. People are special and there is another one out there for ya...or two.
Karala Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Congratulations and thanks to you for posting this!
loverlover Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Thanks for posting this some days I am very strong then others I just miss him, but I can see that I need to get out more and find activities to get involved with.
SIGNALFREQ Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Thats the exact same situation, I was in. 1. I divorced her 2. We got married for the 2nd time 3. She gave me the boot 4. Now she's in a relationship Wow, I thought I was the only one. No matter what we went through I always loved her. Prayer and counseling helped me get through my pain, and now I feel way better. I often think of her, but I know that its best to just close that chapter of my life and move on.
pie2 Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Great post, thank you. Best of luck as you begin this new chapter.
Author patagonia Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 Thats the exact same situation, I was in. 1. I divorced her 2. We got married for the 2nd time 3. She gave me the boot 4. Now she's in a relationship Wow, I thought I was the only one. No matter what we went through I always loved her. Prayer and counseling helped me get through my pain, and now I feel way better. I often think of her, but I know that its best to just close that chapter of my life and move on. Well LOL thankfully we didn't get married the second time!(no offense to you of course) The great part is that you are moving on. Prayer is underestimated in the healing of the heart. It's the only possible way I've done this good so far. You said it best. Close that chapter and move on. Failure is just a stage in life, not who you are. Good job for movin' on!
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