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Falling for a "Friend w/ Benefits"


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Posted

Does anyone know of a male that ever ended up falling in love with his "friend w benefits" or does that only happen to females?

Posted

I've had 2 FWBs -- one a guy I dated for a while, but did not see long-term potential with, and one a guy I went on one date with and knew was not a long-term match.

 

I had to end both because the guy had feelings and wanted more. They would test me, pick at me, and act out in minor ways, and that was just not what I wanted.

Posted

Ummmmm well, I don't think I could put myself in that category but it's close. I met my current g/f online and to be honest, I wasn't expecting much relationship wise. I was expecting a woman to play around with and have casual sex with just like all my other past failures. Now here I am almost 8 months later in a serious relationship. I guess that's just how most relationships work out. You simply test the waters and see what happens.

 

I've found that if you're looking for a relationship then you need to go through A to bet to B. You play the dating game in the beginning and if you're right for each other it will become more. Let's call it a necessary evil.

 

So my answer to your question is yes, men do move from friends with benefits to a committed relationship. If not, then they didn't see you as a keeper. Plain and simple.

Posted

I took a psychology class my freshman year of college and the biggest thing I remember from it was: in a friend with benefits relationship, the man usually falls in love first.

 

He doesn't always act upon it, but I find that this is mostly true.

Posted (edited)

Its all about the rubber band effect.

 

If one side steps back, the other side will step forward.

 

I heard about a theory that says that if you want your man to cuddle with you after sex, roll over and ignore him. He will subconsciously feel rejected and seek validation by voluntarily cuddling up to you.

Edited by musemaj11
Posted
Does anyone know of a male that ever ended up falling in love with his "friend w benefits" or does that only happen to females?

 

I've heard of it here.

 

Most of the time in my offline experiences it's been the woman who fell for the guy, but she ended up as a FWB because he didn't want to commit to anyone.

 

Only time I've seen the guy get possessive is when she starts seeing some other guy who wants to be her boyfriend. Maybe there is love/lust there as well, but it usually comes off as he doesn't want to lose his lay.

 

What I do see a lot of are FZed guys who are in love with the woman and are trying to convince her to try him out or they try to "win her over". It's like what I see women do with the FB thing, only with the genders reversed.

Posted
I heard about a theory that says that if you want your man to cuddle with you after sex, roll over and ignore him. He will subconsciously feel rejected and seek validation by voluntarily cuddling up to you.

This is true.

 

When I first started having sex with my last bf, he would JUMP out of bed right after we had sex and start doing something active. He was a restless, active person who hardly ever wanted to sit still.

 

I told him I would prefer a little cuddle time after sex, and he immediately responding by loving me up generously with plenty of post-sex cuddles.

 

After a few weeks of this, we had sex one night, and I didn't feel the need to cuddle, so I went to get out of bed. Well, he totally clamped his hands around my waist, pulled me right back into bed and into his arms, and goes, "YOU FORGOT TO CUDDLE." :laugh:

 

It was so flipping cute. I teased him about it a little, and he was like, "I know. You're turning me into a woman. All I do is talk about my feelings and pee sitting down." haha

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