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Would this be really cheating (or would you feel cheated on)?

UmsteadE

By UmsteadE
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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UmsteadE Member

UmsteadE

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If someone breaks up but on that same day, sleeps with someone else is that cheating?

 

Done this once and it sure hurt an ex GF dearly. She felt cheated on but it wasn't really because I broke it off before sleeping with the other woman. I really wanted to get out of that suffocating relationship and there was another woman in mind but manage to have self-control.

hurting_in_nw Established Member

hurting_in_nw

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I guess my question would be why would the ex even know about it unless you told her, which would be kind of a messed up thing to do.

flutterbykiss Established Member

flutterbykiss

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If you managed to sleep with someone new within a day you must have been putting in some ground work before splitting up with your girlfriend. Pursuing another woman while attached is definitely cheating.

 

As for the excuse that the relationship was suffocating. It justifies nothing. Sounds like you were angry with your ex and out for revenge so you did something that would hurt her and then said "oh, but it's technically not wrong".

 

If the relationship was that bad then you leave and then start to look for other options once you are single again. It sounds like you kept your GF tied to you so she couldn't move on while you were moving on yourself. Unfair and really low.

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UmsteadE Member

UmsteadE

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I guess my question would be why would the ex even know about it unless you told her, which would be kind of a messed up thing to do.
I didn't told her. She found this out later on through my facebook messages. I gave her my password but didn't think she would ever get in and read them.

 

She sort of went crazy that day accusing me of being a cheating bastard but I broke it off before it happened, that's what she didn't get.

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UmsteadE Member

UmsteadE

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If the relationship was that bad then you leave and then start to look for other options once you are single again. It sounds like you kept your GF tied to you so she couldn't move on while you were moving on yourself. Unfair and really low.
But that's what I did. As soon as I saw it crumbling before my eyes (after initially speaking to her about it and then trying counseling but it didn't worked out), I told her it was over. I just didn't told her about my attraction for the other woman. I also told the other woman I had to break up with my then GF first, then we go on from there. Edited by UmsteadE
Jynxx Established Member

Jynxx

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Def not cheating. You did the right thing by breaking it off beforehand.

cutily Member

cutily

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If the relationship was that bad then you leave and then start to look for other options once you are single again. It sounds like you kept your GF tied to you so she couldn't move on while you were moving on yourself. Unfair and really low.

 

I think you're pushing too far!

 

If the relation is over in his head and he made the decision to break up, he may have met another woman meanwhile but waited till he was free to do anything.

 

We are humans we cannot help attraction, just control it and that's exactly what he did.

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UmsteadE Member

UmsteadE

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Def not cheating. You did the right thing by breaking it off beforehand.
I was trying to explain her that and she went on venting out how I could do such a thing. If she expected me to not date after breaking up that was asking to much. I didn't even felt the same way anymore in the relationship.

 

I guess for the future, I could wait 1-2 weeks after breaking up so I don't end up breaking another woman's heart.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I would say no because you broke up with her first.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I guess for the future, I could wait 1-2 weeks after breaking up so I don't end up breaking another woman's heart.

 

It won't matter. If they love you their heart will still be broken when you start dating someone else in 2 weeks.

HeartOfAPhoenix Established Member

HeartOfAPhoenix

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I was trying to explain her that and she went on venting out how I could do such a thing. If she expected me to not date after breaking up that was asking to much. I didn't even felt the same way anymore in the relationship.

 

I guess for the future, I could wait 1-2 weeks after breaking up so I don't end up breaking another woman's heart.

 

 

technically what you did isn't cheating because you did break it off with her beforehand, kudos to you for that. It is cheating on an emotional level though because typically when you break it off with someone they hold the hope that you will come back (at least for a little while).

 

waiting 1-2 weeks is a good idea, it will still hurt the ex but at least you won't be labelled as a cheater and it shows that you at least care about their feelings to some extent.

Edited by HeartOfAPhoenix
Memphis Raines Established Member

Memphis Raines

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If someone breaks up but on that same day, sleeps with someone else is that cheating?

 

no, i wouldn't consider it being cheated on directly.

 

but it means that the person didn't care about me to begin with and was at least having some sort of emotional cheating before breaking up.

 

but if she broke up with me, and then the same day had sex with another guy, then she is just a skank and would help me move on knowing she is no longer my problem.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Semantics.........Here's the deal. You broke it off with her and within HOURS of breaking up, your sleeping with someone else. Just what was she suppose to feel? Reverse the roles, how would you feel if she broke up with you and you found out she was screwing some guy no more than a day later? You would wonder how long has this been going on with this other guy? How could she do that?

 

Right now, she feels like she meant nothing to you. She feels that time you spent with her was nothing more than a joke to you. That you had so much disrespect and contempt for her that you didn't even mourn the end of your relationship.

 

Now, I'm not trying to bash on you TOO hard but, did you cheat? TECHNICALLY, no. Was what you did very disrespectful? Definately. So, you can take to heart that you TECHNICALLY didn't cheat on her. But, you did break her heart on a technicality.

Miad's Princess Established Member

Miad's Princess

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Even if you didn't cheat you certainly don't respect her if you could sleep with someone else the same day you broke it off.

 

Imo though you did cheat you were emotionally cheating on her before hand with the other woman.

make me believe Established Member

make me believe

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It's not cheating, but it makes me think you had some sort of inappropriate relationship w/ the girl you slept with while you were still with your ex-gf. Most people don't have someone in the wings that they can have sex with right away unless they've been building up to that point for awhile. (Unless you went out to a bar & ended up effing someone random.) But your ex probably feels like something was likely going on behind her back while you were together in order for you to screw someone HOURS after dumping her.

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UmsteadE Member

UmsteadE

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It's not cheating, but it makes me think you had some sort of inappropriate relationship w/ the girl you slept with while you were still with your ex-gf. Most people don't have someone in the wings that they can have sex with right away unless they've been building up to that point for awhile. (Unless you went out to a bar & ended up effing someone random.) But your ex probably feels like something was likely going on behind her back while you were together in order for you to screw someone HOURS after dumping her.
This is the best explanation so far and I now understand why she felt that way. It's just that I'm the type of person that moves on when a relationship wasn't working out or if there was too much drama involved.
StoneCold Established Member

StoneCold

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If someone breaks up but on that same day, sleeps with someone else is that cheating?

 

 

Nope......

StoneCold Established Member

StoneCold

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It's not cheating, but it makes me think you had some sort of inappropriate relationship w/ the girl you slept with while you were still with your ex-gf. Most people don't have someone in the wings that they can have sex with right away unless they've been building up to that point for awhile. (Unless you went out to a bar & ended up effing someone random.) But your ex probably feels like something was likely going on behind her back while you were together in order for you to screw someone HOURS after dumping her.

 

 

Not necessarily...

 

He may simply have knowledge of someone who has a big crush on him but he never "engaged" her or "line stepped"....

 

Amazing things happen when infatuation is at play

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UmsteadE Member

UmsteadE

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Actually she is a long time friend I haven't seen since finishing high school. Well we would contact once in a while through MSN messenger and facebook just to talk about how life was doing and things like that, nothing relating to an affair.

 

Right now we're still dating but haven't made it officially BF & GF commitment. With her it's so different and there is chemistry involved. I don't have to worry about my cell phone getting snatched everytime she becomes jealous or drama.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Snatching your phone away? Drama? She didn't trust you? Well...I mean, you did sleep with someone hours after breaking up with her.. Perphaps you gave her a reason for behaving this way?

 

All I'm saying is people aren't stupid. She knew something was up with you and she called you on it. Time to move on.

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UmsteadE Member

UmsteadE

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Snatching your phone away? Drama? She didn't trust you? Well...I mean, you did sleep with someone hours after breaking up with her.. Perphaps you gave her a reason for behaving this way?

 

All I'm saying is people aren't stupid. She knew something was up with you and she called you on it. Time to move on.

She has always been like this (a bit less but still kept doing these things) from the beginning of the relationship. I thought it was cool and normal at first but as time passed by, that wouldn't change at all. It then started getting tedious. Edited by UmsteadE
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