jer1023 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Stray I know that jealous, helpless, confusion you are going through right now. I had a girl that "loved me forever, unconditionally" that suddenly decided she couldn't do it anymore. I later found out that the first month of our relationship, she was still in love with her ex and posting on internet forums about how she could 'lose weight' to get him back. I am completely heartbroken, still begging to have her back, but I think you just need to stay strong. You already sound stronger than me. This man sounds like a d-bag anyway. I have been in relationships where I would not have necessarily been excited over having a baby, but I would never, under any circumstance, tell a girl to abort it or I would never talk to her again. Think about what kind of person he was to do that to you. Be happy that man won't be the father of your future offspring. You'll be fine, just take it easy and listen to music, do things that don't remind you of him
geegirl Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I have decided to move back in with my parents for a while, maybe 2-3 months. I currently have my own place in Pasadena, but I really need some time away from that city, and with my family, and for the counseling and getting myself together. This is my rock bottom, I believe. But I pray that I'm making the right choices and that someday this will have been for the better. "This is my rock bottom"...and now the only way is to swim up. It's a great sign that you are acknowledging the need for help and the want to change. Stray, you're already conquering half the battle. Surround yourself with people that love you and be in an environment that is supportive of your healing. You are 100% making the right decision. In time you will see, when the emotions are dying and you're realizing the reality of what was. All of us on LS can't be wrong! Come here and post, ask for help when you need it, vent here, cry here and also seek the help from your therapist, family and friends. It's always good to have a good support system.
Author stray Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 My father is telling me that he would have left me too (from a guy's perspective) if his woman of interest had acted as crazy as I did at the end. I don't know if I can forgive myself for this, for looking and acting so crazy after the second abortion. I don't know what to do. I will forever be seen as crazy in my ex's eyes, and for all I know, he is a great guy and I messed it all up.
Author stray Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 I know I'm not crazy. In my heart I know I'm not. I just lost it at that time, I felt like I was losing everything. I had a concussion and I was bleeding out of control and I felt so confused. But my ex will always just remember me as "crazy".
sun_moon Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 He is not a great guy. YOU are a great woman, you have gone through so much and you are surviving this. The question is, will you forgive him or your self in time. Dont beat yourself up, you have been through so much grief in your life and you didnt allow yourself the time to recover from it. Just focus on one thing at a time, and he should be last on your list. Think of your physical, mental, and spiritual well being before anything. HE IS DEAD LAST. One day, slowly but surely, you will see this. Take care, and happy healing. You can do this.
geegirl Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I know I'm not crazy. In my heart I know I'm not. I just lost it at that time, I felt like I was losing everything. I had a concussion and I was bleeding out of control and I felt so confused. But my ex will always just remember me as "crazy". Stray, in your time of need, he was nowhere to be found. That speaks loudly as to the character of this man. When my gf had an abortion, I would talk to her everyday and the amount of pain, hurt and guilt she was feeling was cause for concern to me. She was all over the place. What did her boyfriend do at the time? He left. Why? His excuse was that she was too emotional. A man may never understand what a woman may go through emotionally and physically when she loses a part of herself, but he should damn well be there to support her in her time of need if he claims to love and care for her. You dodged a bullet. Believe me, you did. You may not see it now but there is going to come a day when you cross the path of a compatible partner and you will be able to see what a loving relationship means. This is not love. It's an addiction to a toxic person and R. Please don't beat yourself about how he views you. He will view you whatever way he wants. At the end of the day you have no control over that. But don't judge yourself based on the opinion of a pig. I am sorry. But he is.
Mack05 Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) I know I'm not crazy. In my heart I know I'm not. I just lost it at that time, I felt like I was losing everything. I had a concussion and I was bleeding out of control and I felt so confused. But my ex will always just remember me as "crazy". Stray you are not crazy. Each and every single person on LS has acted out of character in their lives. We wouldn't be human if we didn't!. Doesn't mean we should be punished or judged by others, or more importantly by ourselves for the rest of our lives. Emotionally you are all over the place (thats perfectly understandable). Hopefully, therapy will help you rebuild your self esteem and help you move past this nightmare time in your life. Right now this is the biggest personal challenge you can face. We all at some stage in our lives, have to face some sort of challenge (its different for everyone). How we deal with that challenge, determines how the rest of our lives unfolds. If I may use an analogy from my old Athletics coach. I used to be quite a good track star in my teens (competed internationally for my country). In the winter, I used to run over longer distances to build stamina. I remember one day running 10 miles in the freezing cold, bare foot in a cross country course. With one more mile to go I had enough. I couldn't see the point of a 100 metre runner and long jumper, running 10 miles in the winter. As I stopped my coach asked why I stopped. I said to him what's the point?. He looked at me straight in the eye and said "because that going that one more mile, when you don't think you can. That is what makes the difference in our lives". Needless to say I finished the mile. It was also advise I used, coming out of my own personal hell (going that one more mile, when I didn't think I could). Stray we are all here for you. Also drop me an PM, if you ever want to chat. Edited August 4, 2011 by Mack05
bikinibeach Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Stray- do you think he will look back and see you as thw amazing person who loved him? Of course not! After how he behaved ,he needs to think of you as 'crazy' in order to live with himself ! My friend and i were just discussing this last night. Basically, if you are a woman who has broken up with a man, there us always guaranteed to be one person out there somewhere who will swear on his first born child that you're 'crazy'. Lol
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