MLK Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 My GF 3.5 years left me for another guy, whom she has met only 4 months back, she has cheated me and she says that as a reason for our breakup she also says my religion is also the main reason for our breakup, But I love her so much, i have tried everything possible to get her back, i have even went and spoke to that guy asking him to leave her, all back fired its hurting a lot, She is behaving like a stranger, hostile, she has more feelings for him now more than me, But I love her a lot, i want her very badly, I have forgiven her mistakes and I am waiting for her to come back to me.. I am not talking to her for past 2 weeks but I miss her so much i feel like dialing to her and speaking to her, I need her frnds any advice, if i stick to this NO CONTACT rule will she miss me ? I mean, though i m sticking to the NC rule i am wondering if convincing would be more helpful than NC. She sent a long good bye email asking sorry for whatever has happened, its more hurting i thought NC is not working at all. is there no way to get her back pple. I didnt do anything wrong or anything even remotely possible to hurt her or even to make her think 2wice about me, We had the most wonderful love all this while, I want her very badly should I buy any of those Ex recovery crap availble in net.. Some one help me pls.. Every Day is hell..
Chi townD Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 It's good that you posted here rather than contact her. STAY NC!!! First, her cheating on you and not being remorseful about it speaks volumes. And her stating that your religon is the main reason of your break up? This is called blameshifting and she re-writing your relationship. Because, you dated her for 3.5 years and NOW its a problem? She trying to justify in her head why she cheated on you, it wasn't her fault, it was your fault. You see what I'm saying? THEN, she writes you an e-mail stating that she's sorry for "whatever happened". Basically, she trying to ease her own guilt because she knows that what she did was extremely crappy. Don't resond. I have a feeling that you are holding on to threads of her. You need to throw out all pictures, de-friend her on Facebook and don't follow her on twitter. It suck now, sucks really bad. But, trust me. One day yu wake up and she won't be the first thing that pops in your head. Then, you start healing. Post here often and let us know how you're doing. I have a feeling that since you never responded to her e-mail, perphaps in a few months she may try to contact you again.
Author MLK Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Thanks Mate. If she really comes back to me i will be the most happiest person in this earth. Loving a person is all about loving them as a package with their positives and negatives, I love her a hell lot, Hope this NC rule works mate, i really hope this NC shouldnt make me forget her but instead it should make her remember me and come back to me like a angel.. I still couldnt beleive some one like my gf could do such thing.. God should help me get her, do you know any such success stories in NC ?
Mcnulty Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Please retain your integrity here and realize she cheated on you!!! If you got back together, could you trust her 100%?? No!!! If you had the most wonderful love together she wouldn't have cheated on you, you have to tell yourself, you deserve someone who will respect you and NOT cheat on you. Try to move forward. I know it's a nightmare at the mo, but time is the greatest healer. Long term, she will not make you happy, think about it.
patagonia Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 MLK- I just lost my ex wife to a man that she knew for a month...keep in mind we were married for 3, known one another for 7. She already loves him...that took me almost 4 years to get! Plus he is Long distance! I know your pain. For now like others have said, do no contact. It really does help. It's harder than hell but you can do it, I promise. You will feel it. Every time it comes on you to contact her or do something to see how she is doing, avoid it. It won't make you feel better. No contact will get you focused back on yourself. It really works for healing...focus on yourself right now. Really.
darran Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Thanks Mate. If she really comes back to me i will be the most happiest person in this earth. Loving a person is all about loving them as a package with their positives and negatives, I love her a hell lot, Hope this NC rule works mate, i really hope this NC shouldnt make me forget her but instead it should make her remember me and come back to me like a angel.. I still couldnt beleive some one like my gf could do such thing.. God should help me get her, do you know any such success stories in NC ? I have just recently went NC... as in 2-3 months ago. My ex left me, I was a pretty silly bf and a bit wild but nevertheless, she also had a lot to blame for things too. She got with some guy about a week (seemed instantly) after we broke up. Played me for about 2-3 months while seeing him. Kept me at arms length for MONTHS and fed me crap and crumbs. As soon as I grew a set and just disappeared, literally... guess who's back? She got dumped by her rebound lol! yea I feel good about that... what goes around comes around right? My point dude is this; you sound like you are in a very bad place at the moment. Pull your head, at least try to pull your head out of the sand! It will be the best thing you can do for yourself. This may sound daft and sexist but read material on "The art of Pick Up!". Start feeding yourself a daily dose of the why she is BAD FOR YOU thoughts, do not dwell on the fact you were together for X amount of years or any bull**** nonsense that she spun. Facts and actions.... the girl cheated on you LIKE MY EX TOO! She ran off with some dude and took your feelings basically and pissed on them... ...sorry to sound so blunt but you seriously have to snap out of this mindset and stop putting someone high up on a pedestal who clearly doesn't care how YOU FEEL right now, she ONLY cares what's best for her! I am not saying people cant and don't change but for now dude she doesn't care what you are going through. Go NC, read the art of pick up, work out, change your furniture around, paint where you live, get out and do new things, destroy (or just hide) anything that reminds you of her and MEET new people, talk with your friends, vent here. Just don't end up like I did as you will look like a bigger idiot in the long term! Take care
Author MLK Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Dear friends, After one month of NC i have contacted her and begged her to come back, she just slammed the phone, and she blocked me in FB and Gchat. I beleive she has moved on, but i could not, i pretend to be happy but in the night or when i am boozed n stuff i loose control even 2 mins back i ve sent her a long email asking her to accept me atleast as her friend, i am not sure why they behave so hostile i feel so ashamed about myself by being a doormat, she has changed her FB pic with tht new guy, trust me guys tht made me burst out in tears i dont know how to be out of this now, why she is acting so hostile when she is the one who did all this non sense to me, wont she even have a guilt wt to do guys i am screwing up so badly really badly.. i mean ignoring and all works but some urge comes and makes me drop the plan wt should i do now
Dblock10 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 man, i know you love her and it hurts like hell. ive been through it to. you need to get a grip of yourself! really! why have you let her get this much control and power over your emotions. its ridiculous ! she is 1 girl out of millions. she doesnt even care how much you love her, so its her loss at the end of the day. maybe she is being hostile now because she knows its hurting you and thus doesnt want to hurt you anymore. she has and is clearly moving on now, you need to do the same im afraid. you are destroying/destroyed all self esteem and confidence in yourself. girls do not like neediness or weak men. they need strong confident people in there lives who respect themselves.. please move on and forget about her. she isnt worth your time
Mcnulty Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 It's like you're getting the door slammed and locked in your face, but you aren't getting the message!! It is over and you have to move on, she does not care! Sorry for being blunt, but this is the truth!!
geegirl Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Your only plan is to find ways to start healing and stopping yourself from further damaging your self-esteem. There's no plan that can get her back. She will only come back if she wants to. By the looks of it, she is not. You're in a state of panic, unable to accept the finality of it all. It's normal to feel this way. No more contact. That's your first step. Everytime you want to reach out, remind yourself that she's given you her answer in more ways than one.
olivec Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Dear friends, After one month of NC i have contacted her and begged her to come back, she just slammed the phone, and she blocked me in FB and Gchat. I beleive she has moved on, but i could not, i pretend to be happy but in the night or when i am boozed n stuff i loose control even 2 mins back i ve sent her a long email asking her to accept me atleast as her friend, i am not sure why they behave so hostile i feel so ashamed about myself by being a doormat, she has changed her FB pic with tht new guy, trust me guys tht made me burst out in tears i dont know how to be out of this now, why she is acting so hostile when she is the one who did all this non sense to me, wont she even have a guilt wt to do guys i am screwing up so badly really badly.. i mean ignoring and all works but some urge comes and makes me drop the plan wt should i do now You gotta stay strong man. Right now she is rubbin your face in her new relationship and your letting her do it. First off eliminate the facebook or any other form of contact including blocking her cell number. Also from today on NC and work on focusing on yourself and having fun with your friends. Its clear that this girl is no good for you and shes only gunna continue to hurt you if you keep trying to contact her in anyway. You have to move on man in order to heal from all this. Then once all the emotion from the breakup is over youl understand how important it is to stay NC.
Author MLK Posted August 24, 2011 Author Posted August 24, 2011 Friends, I want to move on, but i am fighting with my emotions , its too tough but deep inside i do know i have to move on (choiceless). How to deal with this now, lot of greif and sadness and life is dull, how to forget a relationship Just one question, did any one of you managed to completly forget your ex's is it possible, right now i am thinking of being single forever no more girls other than her etc etc. this is my first love (am 27). and i dont think i ll ever fall in love again at all.. Need to know will my life will be normal at all...
FinOuch Posted August 24, 2011 Posted August 24, 2011 Friends, I want to move on, but i am fighting with my emotions , its too tough but deep inside i do know i have to move on (choiceless). How to deal with this now, lot of greif and sadness and life is dull, how to forget a relationship Just one question, did any one of you managed to completly forget your ex's is it possible, right now i am thinking of being single forever no more girls other than her etc etc. this is my first love (am 27). and i dont think i ll ever fall in love again at all.. Need to know will my life will be normal at all... I don't think you ever forget your ex...for how would we learn? But they do sort of just fade into a distant memory. The thing you need to understand, though, is that it takes time. And lots of it. Of course you're still torn up, still thinking about her constantly, and dealing with difficult emotions. I'm sorry to say that it hasn't been very long for you at all, my friend. While I'm not certain how long you've been broken up...I'm guessing it was near that five week or so timeframe that you initially attempted no contact. That's not long at all. Look around and read other peoples' stories. It usually takes months before people get past the worst of the pain and get to a place where they're starting to regain their sense of self. And that's not to say that they no longer think of their ex's. They do. Sometimes to a point of obsessive. It's just less emotionally turbulent than it was a few months before. Understand that it will take a long time, and that you do need to be patient with yourself. It might seem like you aren't making progress, but slowly you are. And it will be easier if you really concentrate on focusing on yourself. We can't control relationships and other peoples, but we can control a lot of the other stressors in our lives. Focusing on improving and being productive in these areas (our jobs, our health, our hobbies, etc) helps the healing process tremendously. Use these as tools to lift yourself up. And please please please...understand that breaking NC makes what is already a long process draw out even more. The less you have to do with this woman, the easier it is to find calmer waters. You gotta be strong.
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