Kindaconfused_77 Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 I'm a bit confused as to what is going through this girl's head. Ive been inline skating with a group of people for about 3 months now, and its been in the past month or so that Ive grown somewhat close to one of the girls who religiously skates every day (as do I). She is the most uninhibited person Ive ever met, openly speaks of her past sexual exploits (promiscuously numerous), her romantic failures, her lack of belief she will ever have a LTR because of her libertine-like personality, etc, etc, though despite all this she does have a strong sense of ethics, even mentioned she will not hook up with anyone in the group because it will just ruin friendships. So far, so good, her telling me all the sordid details of her sex life pretty clearly puts me in the friend zone, yes? Yet things start to get a little confusing when shes lately been teasing me relentlessly. She started giving me irritating nicknames, I'd tease and insult her back, she'd prod me, I'd poke her back, and by now its become a full-blown war between us, the bickering is constant, the teasing incessant, the mutual insults flow like water. The prodding and poking became ass smacking, thigh slapping, head-smacking, arm-punching, so much so that we agreed to a cease-fire because of the bruises we were inflicting upon each other before things got any more out of hand! Now instead, we've reverted to light "assaults", including shoving, pushing prodding, spitting water at each other, wrestling.. its exhausting, yet kinda fun Ill admit. On FB Im the first person she IMs when she wakes up in the morning before going to work, and the last person she chats to at night before going to sleep. The bickering carries over on chat as well, my message convo log with her is flooded with thousands of jibes insults and disses, many of them frequently double-entendres. Its come to a point where other friends of our group keep telling us to get a room, how we will end up having the most violent sex ever. She ignores most of these, with a simple "Yeah right", or "No ****ing way!" to the suggestion she should settle in her "old age" (shes only 27, I'm 34) for a guy like me, but its conflicting when she calls me "disgusting love, this is for you" on FB and sends me a youtube clip of Kaiser Chiefs "Everyday I Love You Less and Less" While Ive grown very fond of her I don't think I want to risk ruining a friendship with her for a fling, particularly knowing that what I want out of a relationship is something she has never been able to give in the past. I'd love a second opinion on what may be going through her head with this whole scenario and her obsession of making my entire life a "misery" (her words), as Ive never really met anyone quite like her before. Is it all just a little harmless fun or is this some bizarre violent mating ritual between us that I'm feeding into by giving back as hard as I get?
Forever Learning Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 ha ha I don't know I can't wait to hear what everyone else has to say on this one. I was laughing along as I read this and then kinda surprised when I read she was 27 and you were 34. I thought you guys were in your late teens or very early twenties acting all goofed up like this. I don't know what to tell ya I think she likes ya but she might also be abusive with all the name calling and such. It's not the traditional flirting approach with all the bruising and such, unless you guys were roller derby fanatics or wrestlers in which case the physical beat downs as a way of saying 'I dig you baby" might make more sense lol.
KR10N Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Sounds like she's interested, but that could just be her normal behavior. I tease people I'm fond of but I also teased a guy I once liked. I'd make jokes about something he'd say or did & it was all in good fun, never mean. I'm not one to touch anyone if I like them. But that is one way women flirt, it's silly, but some do it.
sm1tten Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 I really don't know. I too thought I was reading about some teenagers until I got to the end. It could go either way, really. If you don't want to date or hook up with her, it's up to you to establish that boundary as I somehow think she lacks that capability. It sounds like you both just enjoy the attention.
Author Kindaconfused_77 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 We are definitely not acting our age, but it also seems to be limited to each other. Whenever someone else tries to start hitting or annoying her, she makes a face and says she has enough with one maniac in her life to defend herself from. And enjoying the attention we are giving each other by doing this is also definitely a part of it.
carhill Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Since she's promiscuous and hasn't had sex with you, you are her ersatz brother. She found a non-familial man she can treat like a brother and he sticks around. That you are not a blood relation, there is no incest prohibition psychology, so she can tease you sexually with impunity. My opinion will be 'brother zone' without prejudice with a bit of ego gratification thrown in for spice.
Author Kindaconfused_77 Posted August 10, 2011 Author Posted August 10, 2011 A short update to the post, the friskyness and contact has escalated further in the past week or so, it has definitely gone past the friend and brother zone into something quite different. Every day since saturday we have been out alone till 6 am skating, wrestling, teasing, groping, biting - it seems we are always one push shy of actually fully making out, but at the last moment both pull back. Regardless of whatever this is, we are probably best friends and in some way sense that we don't want to risk ruining that for a FWB type situation that may not work out. Regardless of her past promiscuity, since this whole thing started, she has turned down several opportunities (and eagerly teased me about them) in which she could indulge in her past actions but has chosen not to,to spend time with me/skating instead. We will see where this leads, but it seems to be leading straight to a bed.
thatone Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 as it should. she can have her casual sex and pretend to have a boyfriend with you, trying to have the best of both worlds. if the opportunity arises take it, because it's not really even gonna be a long term friendship, so it's not like you have anything to lose.
Author Kindaconfused_77 Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 Well, the opportunity arose and I certainly took it. Not sure exactly what it is this thing we have, but in its early stages we are finding it hard to keep our hands off each other. I gues I wasnt in the "brother zone" after all.
Professor X Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 Well, the opportunity arose and I certainly took it. Not sure exactly what it is this thing we have, but in its early stages we are finding it hard to keep our hands off each other. I gues I wasnt in the "brother zone" after all. Mazal-Tov! Enjoy the moment!
Author Kindaconfused_77 Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Well the final update is that two weeks later the whole thing has been called off. I had put a little hope into the fact she wouldnt flake out as she apparently does with all her flings, but despite being all hot and bothered on thursday, 2 days later she did complete 180 and gave me the "I dont know what I want" routine. Considering her past relationship history (or lack thereof), I am not surprised. We will try to maintain the friendship, despite the current bitter sting of rejection, but its time to look elsewhere and move on, I cant stick around waiting for her to magically change her mind when she doesn't even know what she wants from a guy.
rafallus Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 (edited) How intimate did you get with her? Looks like she actually gave you a shot, you didn't take it, time ran out and she lost interest. Edited August 28, 2011 by rafallus
Author Kindaconfused_77 Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 We did it all. The first night she came over we actually slept only 4h out of 48h. It may have lasted only two weeks, but they were intense, in a way I'm glad I'll be going back to work now with full nights worth of sleep. I don't know why she flaked out, maybe she just can't handle anything other than a short-lived fling, and she's admitted her period is coming up in a week and it's driving her insane. If her decision was based on hormonal changes she may come around next month, but I sure am not holding my breath.
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