svdk123 Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Ok...im 21. i got into a relationship with my bf 3 years ago. we were happy. he was my 1st love and we moved in together. he wasn't working at that time and i was a college student...i helped him financially but my studies were never affected. So...for 3 years, we lived together, we were very close. The whole life was about us. We ate, slept, took showers together. He was a "bad boy" before he met me...socialising n having fun. I changed him and made him a better person. Then he got a job n cheated, we broke up. He wanted to be friends, i was devastated but agreed. We had sex and one day, i found out he was sent to jail, for stealing. Although he dumped me, i bailed him out and we were together again. He showed so much love and aprreciation. Then he got a job n cheated again. We broke up and got back together. He said he loves me and was ashamed of cheating, as i was very honest n loyal. He said i was the best lover he had. After 3 years, we broke up 2 weeks ago, cos he cheated again. He told my friends he wants to be free. After breaking up, we never discussed anything about our relationship, but 6 days after the break up, he was in a relationship with someone new. Shocking! I was speechless but i congratulated him. Things went bad when he brought his new bf home, just to show off. I still smiled and said i was happy for him. Then he told my friends that his new lover is the best and he is really happy without me. He told my friends that he wants to do new things and be happy. He came to me and said his new lover got him a new job. Without shame, he praised his new lover of one week, without even mentioning the 3 years i sacrificed for him ( he used ti hit me and curse me when he got angry ). I forgave everything. But its disappointing how he can replace me in 6 days...i stayed by his side for 3 years... 1) I am beginning to forget him, and he will move out next week. But is it possible he forgot me? or just buried his feelings? he wants to be friends... 2) is he on a rebound? 3) How can someone forget all the deeds i've done? I STAYED LOYAL, SINCERE, HONEST....
WTRanger Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 You "fixed him" and he still went and did all that? Sounds like you used cheap glue or did a shoddy job. He's rubbing it in your face because he knows it'll get to you. See, he's a tool and that's what tool's do. You really need take some time off and find some self respect for your own personal good. Relationships are NOT supposed to be like that. But you must respect your Self first before you refuse to let some moron treat you like that. You are not a doormat, you are not a punching bag, and you are not a revolving forgiveness door. He wants to be friends because you are the perfect doormat to him. He can walk all over you, leave and live it up, then when he feels like he needs some TLC he'll feed you a line of total BS. Then, rinse, wash, repeat.
sun_moon Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Wow I dont know where to start. First of all let me congratulate you for what you are going through now, you are finally free form this man, and this will prove to be one of the best things that happens in your life. Why do you want him, or the relationship back? He is clearly a bad mate for you and actually anyone. Ask yourself this, why would you want to be with someone that clearly doesn't value you, or show you self respect? Ask yourself this, why do you want to take him back or keep accepting him back? How long will you continue to be a "doormat' to him? What you described above is enough to list bad/horrible traits of a dozen bad men, but somehow you have one that's got all of the traits in one package. 1. He is emotionally abusive 2. He is physically abusive 3. He is a thief 4. He is a SERIAL cheater 5. He is a lair 6. He is a lazy freeloader 7. He is taking advantage of your kindness My questions to you are: 1.Why didnt you leave him sooner and keep it that way? 2.Why did he break up with you, you should have beaten him to it a long long time ago? So he cheats on you, and HE gets to dump you, multiple times? It seems like this man, I'm sorry I mean boy, is only so appreciative of you and such and "loyal" when he's got nothing and is at rock bottom, but when he's got his mojo working and is working, he drops you after he's deceived you again and again. So when he's happy he mistreats, deceives, and disrespects you and when he's miserable and got nothing he loves you and "appreciates" you!!!! Its safe and easy to say, that you two breaking up will be a HUGE blessing for you, will open up new doors for you, and mostly free you from the emotional abuse he's put you through. Him moving out will give you uninterrupted clarity to really think about your situation, this can only come from NC. He doesnt deserve you, not even as a friend. I understand you are feeling sadness and shock, but more than anything you should feel anger, he didnt ever deserve you. You will gain lots of insight into your situation and only begin to heal once you leave it for good. Yes, he's rebounding because he's a sack of **** and you shouldn't be concerned about how he can "forget" you. He hasn't forgotten you, he just wants to play and be "free". Let him be free, the most free he can be, COMPLETELY AWAY FROM YOU. That's not the issue, the issue is he never deserved your loyalty, honesty, generosity, and time. The moment any human being knocks those boundaries down and begins to disrespect you and mentally and physically harm you is the moment you must take your dignity and walk away from the situation. I say good riddance to him and congratulations to you!
Author svdk123 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Wow I dont know where to start. First of all let me congratulate you for what you are going through now, you are finally free form this man, and this will prove to be one of the best things that happens in your life. Why do you want him, or the relationship back? He is clearly a bad mate for you and actually anyone. Ask yourself this, why would you want to be with someone that clearly doesn't value you, or show you self respect? Ask yourself this, why do you want to take him back or keep accepting him back? How long will you continue to be a "doormat' to him? What you described above is enough to list bad/horrible traits of a dozen bad men, but somehow you have one that's got all of the traits in one package. 1. He is emotionally abusive 2. He is physically abusive 3. He is a thief 4. He is a SERIAL cheater 5. He is a lair 6. He is a lazy freeloader 7. He is taking advantage of your kindness My questions to you are: 1.Why didnt you leave him sooner and keep it that way? 2.Why did he break up with you, you should have beaten him to it a long long time ago? So he cheats on you, and HE gets to dump you, multiple times? It seems like this man, I'm sorry I mean boy, is only so appreciative of you and such and "loyal" when he's got nothing and is at rock bottom, but when he's got his mojo working and is working, he drops you after he's deceived you again and again. So when he's happy he mistreats, deceives, and disrespects you and when he's miserable and got nothing he loves you and "appreciates" you!!!! Its safe and easy to say, that you two breaking up will be a HUGE blessing for you, will open up new doors for you, and mostly free you from the emotional abuse he's put you through. Him moving out will give you uninterrupted clarity to really think about your situation, this can only come from NC. He doesnt deserve you, not even as a friend. I understand you are feeling sadness and shock, but more than anything you should feel anger, he didnt ever deserve you. You will gain lots of insight into your situation and only begin to heal once you leave it for good. Yes, he's rebounding because he's a sack of **** and you shouldn't be concerned about how he can "forget" you. He hasn't forgotten you, he just wants to play and be "free". Let him be free, the most free he can be, COMPLETELY AWAY FROM YOU. That's not the issue, the issue is he never deserved your loyalty, honesty, generosity, and time. The moment any human being knocks those boundaries down and begins to disrespect you and mentally and physically harm you is the moment you must take your dignity and walk away from the situation. I say good riddance to him and congratulations to you! Thank u so much! ur words really went deep and touched me...i agree with u. its a blessing... I've seen his flaws long ago..but i tried to fix him and became perfect for him...still...maybe i failed. He doesn't deserve me. I never left him because he was my 1st love... Yes i have to be strong...it might be hard at first. He wants to be friends, but i would NEVER accept that. Maybe because i always waited for him, he knows he can come back to me anytime. Now...i have woken up. If he is happy with his new lover, let it be. Im not going to rush into a relationship. I want to have my confidence back. He really made me cry when he compared his new lover infront of me..and said he is REALLY HAPPY. But of course, i did not cry in front of him. I congratulated him for having a new happiness.
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