mavlast Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 I met this girl online about two weeks ago and we seem to like each other. We've texted and talked on the phone but haven't met yet. Unfortunately we won't be able to meet for almost two weeks because she's been quarantined in her home due to illness. In the meantime, I've been wondering what I ought to do with regard to our relationship. I like her and don't want our relationship to fade into obscurity just because we couldn't see each other for a while. I've noticed that ever since her illness started she's been less talkative towards me. She sends fewer messages and rarely responds to the ones I send. Of course this is understandable, but I'm wondering whether I'd be bothering her by sending her texts (she can't talk). She did say, excitedly, that she would call me as soon as she could talk, so it's not like she doesn't want to hear from me. Still, I don't want to be obnoxious. What should I do? Also, what's something that I could do for her that would be appropriate at this stage? I thought about looking up her address and sending flowers or a gift basket, but I think that the creep factor would be pretty high since we've not met in person. Thanks!
sm1tten Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 It's possible that her lack of response is due to her being sickly, but its also possible that the lag between talking and meeting in person is driving her interest a bit lower. You can keep low-to-medium contact, an occasional "how are you feeling, can't wait til you get better so we can hang out" text sort of thing. Beyond that, probably nothing. Looking up her address is beyond creepy. (I'm not picking on you at all, but I cannot believe the number of times I've read that idea on this forum as an appropriate action towards someone you've never met... at least you realise that it's a bit creepy and I think you're being well intentioned but man, just don't do it!)
Author mavlast Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) It's possible that her lack of response is due to her being sickly, but its also possible that the lag between talking and meeting in person is driving her interest a bit lower. You can keep low-to-medium contact, an occasional "how are you feeling, can't wait til you get better so we can hang out" text sort of thing. Beyond that, probably nothing. Looking up her address is beyond creepy. (I'm not picking on you at all, but I cannot believe the number of times I've read that idea on this forum as an appropriate action towards someone you've never met... at least you realise that it's a bit creepy and I think you're being well intentioned but man, just don't do it!) Yeah, I really don't know. I haven't heard one word from her today, and I've texted her twice. I think I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, though, and just wait for her to talk to me while exploring other people at the same time. It's quite possible that she's just not in the mood to talk. As for looking up her address, I do not really plan to do that -- it was an idea that I rejected almost as soon as I thought of it. However, I do want to get her attention and do something sweet for her. I'm afraid that if I don't make an effort during this time, she'll just forget about me. Of course too much effort could be just as bad. Edited August 2, 2011 by mavlast
Author mavlast Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 I think that I'm going to stop contacting her until I hear from her again, and put her on the back burner while I explore other people. What do you think?
FitChick Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Good Lord, if she is so ill that she is actually quarantined, I'd cut her a little slack. Surely you can't be that needy. Send a cute little something (if she likes cats, send her a little ceramic cat, for example, or a funny card) so that when she sees it she thinks of you. Then tell her to call when she is feeling better and you wish her a speedy recovery. Demanding attention at a time like this makes you look very insecure and narcissistic.
Author mavlast Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) Fit, I'm not complaining or demanding attention; that would truly be selfish. I just want to know what I should do given my position, and if I should read anything additional into her silence. Perhaps I should refrain from calling or texting if doing so would annoy her while she's ill. And as for asking whether I should put her on the "back burner," I asked because our relationship might not be the same if we don't talk for a while -- not that doing so is a priority. Forgive me if I sounded self-centred or unfeeling! Edited August 2, 2011 by mavlast
sm1tten Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Did she ever respond to your last text? I'd wait for her to respond. In the meantime... You haven't even met her yet, there's no reason to prioritize her at this point. Especially if she's not reciprocating your interest - for whatever the reason is.
Author mavlast Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Nope, I havent got anything. You're right, of course -- I was just excited because this is the first time in a while that someone has been smitten for me like she seemed to be. I'll keep my options open.
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