Nicollette Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 My husband & I were together for 4 1/2 years. We were a blended family. About a year ago he chose to go be an over the road truck driver. Which left me to raise four kids with no help. The only person who I could rely on was another man. My husband even not here was still mean & ugly to me over the phone. Our relationship has always been up and down. He never physically abused me but he was very verbal with me and the kids sometimes. I ended up cheating on him with this other man. Although we had in the past had an open relationship. He slept with my best friend. Twice. He thought I would be okay with it.. In February of this year his anger when off the charts and he realized he had problem. At this point, I just wanted out. The mistake I made is I moved in with this other man who has always been good to me and the kids. We are trying to share his daughter and my son as each others because thats the way it has always been. He also has started a relationship with someone we've known for a long time. Now, I think we are both regretting the divorce and would like to give it another try. A lot of people are going to get hurt if we do. I have two kids from a previous marriage. They do not want us to get back together. And the worst part is I think my previous ex would file for full custody because of all the changes. My first priority is my kids. Any advice? And what if we are just afraid to let one another go and a reconcilation isn't whats best for everyone involved. Any advice would be very much appreciated. My girls want to stay living with me and my boyfriend. They have gotten settled in and they love it here. They also would like to continue to live with me, but they do not want to go back to live with me and my ex.
Lone Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Heya..Sorry to hear about your dilemma. Obviously its easy to give opinoins and make judgements from the outside so if im wrong when i say this dont be offended...I really believe that in these types of situations deep down u already know what you want. Flip a coin and while its in the air u will know which side you want it to land on maybe.I really respect and admire though that you are putting your children first. Myself coming from a 'broken home' (I dont like this term as in my experience my 'broken home' family was a lot more functational than many of my friends stereotypical 'nuclear families') my parents though decided it would be better if they were no longer together neveer let their issues impact on me or my siblings..They remained friends and supported us whenever we needed them. It would almost be weirder if they got back together. that would be the equivilant (spelling) of a divorce.Anywho, if you have moved on perhaps you would be happy. Maybe you need to get back out there and meet new people...?If not then perhaps you should meet up with your ex partner and discuss it all over? What would be an ieal world for you in regards to this situation...Anyway give my post a read aswell and let me know your thoughts...il keep locked on here so am happy to help chin up
Author Nicollette Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 I really appreciate your opinion. My kids happiness is my number one priority. Equally important, with his current employment he has not been able to attend or engage in therapy. He says he is going to go to anger management and go back into therapy. He had a horrible childhood. Which greatly impacted the way he interacts with adults & kids. How could I trust that so much has changed since the divorce with no outside profressional help. I'm afraid if I go back it could have the same outcome and I could lose custody of my kids. Sorry no man is worth that!!! I think if I become unhappy in my current situation then I need to be alone for a year or two. Just completely put all my energy into my religion, my kids and most importantly myself. I'm always putting everyone elses needs before my own. Oh, and I have been bi-polar for 10 years. I am very dedicated to taking care of myself so I can be a good mom. I look forward to hearing from you again. take care~
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