Paige1377 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 My ex fiancee and I have been broken up six weeks and I am living 12 hours away with our eleven month old. Breakup was alot of stuff, mainly me suffocating him, not respecting his space and me being pissed he was pulling away and it seemed like he was hiding stuff. A week ago he came to visit my daughter, we talked custody and all that, had some heated moments and also some moments with our interactions where we discussed us and he said it was hard bc we have alot of baggage. He brought us up that weekend not me. After he left, I cried and decided enough was enough, sent him a text saying I had to move on and that he needs to respect my space so I can. We had an issue with setting up support payments for five months, I emailed, sent him a text so no response. I called him and he finally decided to work with me. He has been paying for her, but just getting him to work with me has been hard. He called me last night, I told him I would send him the info. I decided to open my heart and said, "do you know why I don't like talking to you on the phone?" he said he didn't so I explained it's hard emotionally bc I love him and want our family back and it's hard to talk with him when he doesn't say what I want,ie he wants to work on getting us back together.he responds with well you don't tell me what I want to hear. So I took the chance and opened my heart again, telling him how I have reflected and saw alot of the things I did wrong with the breakup and how I wanted to grow from it. He then opened up and said well, our issues are deep, he said his issues with my family will never go away and those are things that makes it hard for him. Now he did the breaking up, he seems like he has moved on, but he genuinely did sound sad last night. I have thought for a while he's dating someone else, but he's not with me so it's not my business anymore. Anyways, since the split we have talked a couple times over getting back together, but he has never stated he wants to try. He wants me to move myself and my daughter closer so he can see her more and I am wondering if that's part of this, him discussing us so I will move and he will see her more. I decided to move on, and talking to guys, but am nowhere anywhere over him, bc that takes time. If we didn't have a child I would be total no contact right now bc it kills me talking to him when I love him. This is our second split off and on eight years but I am getting to the point where I feel like I am a backup plan. Now he is trying to get a promotion and move to another position in the company for more money and he tells me that, but other than we just don't talk. So, what do you guys think? He told me when he was breaking up with me that he didn't love me anymore, hadn't for a while, and yet he still talks to me about being together. We have always been tumultuous, everyone tells me to move on, but I am having a tough time, especially when he tells me stuff like that. I have said, seriously if you don't think it will ever work, tell me and he won't. So what do you guys think? Also, when he was in town we hung out for an hour and a half, it was pretty peaceful, discussing our daughter and he told me he's not dating anyone, just focused on getting closer to his daughter.
Author Paige1377 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Also as a side note he told me not to worry about what he is doing down there. I don't know what that means. He won't respond to texts or emails anymore, only calls and he knows this hurts me. Could he be trying to keep me from moving on? I just don't know if it too soon for anything, or if he just playing me for a fool.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Focus on healing and don't wait for him. If by any chance he does come back you can deal with whether to take him back or not at that time but right now you need to do what is best for you and heal. Don't over analyse everything he says or doesn't say. He may be keeping you as a backup plan, he may not, you never know for certain.
patagonia Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 He broke up with you...then you told him you needed space... You are giving him mixed signals for hanging out with him and trying to speak with him, regardless of the reason. Leave him alone, you asked him to leave you alone. Move on with your life and get goin!
Recommended Posts