novaavon Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Me and my girl had been in a relationship since 2005 . She moved back to Germany one year and a half ago and I am living in Denmark now. We were still in love after she want back to Germany and I told her I wanted to move to Germany to be with her. She said "if you want to find a job in Denmark, I have some suggestions", then she gave me some advice on how to be more marketable in Danish job market. I thought that was not a good sign. Therefore, I didn't go to Germany last Easter. Then, she got pissed off with me, she told me that she was actually living with somebody else at that time and she liked me only as a friend "AT THE MOMENT". I thought she broke up with me and I felt really hurt because she didn't tell me that she had found a new boyfriend before. So I started NC. Surprisingly, she sent me a hand-written letter with a red paper rose after 4 months and told me she had moved to a new city. Apparently that was a good sign. So I told her I was still in love with her, but she didn't answer me. Shortly before last Halloween, I received a surgery and almost died from a serious infection. When I came out from the emergency room, I received a email from her saying that she had a boyfriend. Therefore, she couldn't return my love. I realized that probably she was waiting for me to spend Halloween with her (I knew it, that is her!!!). I told her about my health condition and promised her that I would visit her as soon as possible. I had several surgeries in last November and December. After I recovered, I wrote some long letters telling her I love her and I want to visit her, but that didn't work. She said something like "if you really miss me why don't you visit me earlier." I got a feeling that she was punishing me. So, I didn't stop writing to her. Last month, she hinted me to relocate myself. She said that she can't move to Denmark, so if I don't move, then we have to live with the distance. I told her that I want to relocate myself and find a new job in Germany, but she didn't reply. Two weeks ago, in my last letter, I apologize again for not going to Germany last year. Firstly, I told her the reason why I didn't go to Germany was because she didn't give me a clear answer and now I know that I made a mistake, I misread her signs. Secondly, I told her, I didn't thought of to spend last Halloween with her due to my poor health condition although that was in fact a good chance to mend our relationship. I felt very sorry for that. And I told her how much I missed her and loved her, and asked for her forgiveness. Then, few hours later, she broke up with me. She said she doesn't want to hear from me anymore and she will never answer me again. She added that she has a new boyfriend and I should leave her alone. And there is one thing I want to point out: I got to know from a mutual friend of us that she actually didn't and doesn't have a boyfriend. She used that as an excuse several times in the past one year! Who can tell me what happened????? I am really confused.
wilsonx Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 your mutual friend is lying. from her actions it sounds as she does have a boyfriend. she isn't in love with you, shes just playing games with you and stringing you along. go back to NC and start working on healing both mentally from her and physically from your surgeries. find someone out there that is better Good luck
Mcnulty Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 She's kicked you to the kerb. She's treat you like dirt and shown no empathy or understanding for your predicament, healthwise or geographically. The way you've explained things, sounds like she thinks she has you like a puppet on a string...cut those strings and face reality, she's a bitch.
Author novaavon Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 She's kicked you to the kerb. She's treat you like dirt and shown no empathy or understanding for your predicament, healthwise or geographically. The way you've explained things, sounds like she thinks she has you like a puppet on a string...cut those strings and face reality, she's a bitch. Totally agree, My ex is a high academic achiever and has a goal-oriented personality. She strives for perfection and overly focuses on rules. She is rigid, obsessive, inhibited and somewhat emotionally-driven. She has difficulties in expressing her feelings and needs. Actually, poor communication has caused tons of problems in our relationship. She doesn't say what she really means. So, I have to read her mind. Sometimes, I feel really exhausted.
Mcnulty Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 You're describing my ex to a tee!! I finished it with her and am glad I did with hindsight. Run for the hills mate and don't look back...i've been there!
Author novaavon Posted August 3, 2011 Author Posted August 3, 2011 You're describing my ex to a tee!! I finished it with her and am glad I did with hindsight. Run for the hills mate and don't look back...i've been there! Thanks man!
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