irc333 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Okay, I've been trying to find a way to not really be in the FZ, however, I am blunt about asking a woman out. Or at least coming off sounding that way. I usually do it by flirting, then I would say, "So how about we get together for dinner and a walk at the park?" This one woman I had done this with recently said, "I could be wrong, that sounds like a date. I'm not interested in dating anyone, however, If you want to hang out as friends, that would be cool." How should I respond. She said she isn't interested in dating ANYONE. Just an FYI, this has been my response from quite a few women lately. lol
youngskywalker Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 This one woman I had done this with recently said, "I could be wrong, that sounds like a date. I'm not interested in dating anyone, however, If you want to hang out as friends, that would be cool." That's a 99% friend zone response. Take it at face value. Have any of your recent hookups started out as "I just want to be friends"? My guess is not. Any woman that is interested is going to take the opportunity for a date and run with it. Sorry, but she doesn't sound like she is interested.
Casablanca Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 "friend's zone" is BS to begin with...it is just a "nice" way of saying, I dont find you attractive enough (physically and/or personally) to consider dating you. Id still hang out with her as friends...who knows maybe she'll have a change of heart or in the last maybe you'll make a cool new friend....just dont go into it expecting to get a relationship out of it
Author irc333 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Id still hang out with her as friends...who knows maybe she'll have a change of heart or in the last maybe you'll make a cool new friend....just dont go into it expecting to get a relationship out of it Yeah, I used to go into this expecting something, but that's the OLD me. But now, I would probably hang out with her without expecations. I had come to a point in my life where I would feel that's too much stress. I do find that I'm building social capital that way. I found it kind of cool that she didn't get wierded out by it. Some women will completely write off even ASSOCIATING with a guy that they weren't interested in asking them out. Some women are like, "Oh great, he asked me out, if I see him again among friends, it'll be awkward" Even so, she might have friends that are single that she might bring along to social gatherings that I could meet. I think of it as networking.
thatone Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 I found it kind of cool that she didn't get wierded out by it. Some women will completely write off even ASSOCIATING with a guy that they weren't interested in asking them out. to be honest, those are the more stable and honest women. look, one side is attracted to the other, so one side isn't going to be happy with remaining 'friends'. why do it then?
GivenUp0083 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 It's up to you man, do what you think feels right. But I agree with others, I would let go of any hope of dating her. For me, I usually just nod or say okay and then not contact her to hang out again. Some girls I'll stay friends, and USE HER to attract other women. If you hang out with her in public, go to parties with her, hang out with her and her other friends then you have a good way to meet MORE women. Women get jealous and if they see you with an attractive woman, you can show that you have value. Also, here's an example: a girl I decided to be friends with had a party, and I didn't try to hook up or flirt with her at all, but she had a cousin in town for the night and her cousin was REALLY into me and we spent the night at my place. Not only do you increase your chance to meet people she knows who might be interested, but now she has admitted she was a little jealous that I hooked up with her cousin (because it gives you value if women think that OTHER women want you). Just use her as bait dude, she's a worm on a hook for you now, nothing more.
iris219 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 How should I respond. She said she isn't interested in dating ANYONE. I'm not sure she's being entirely honest about not want to date anyone. Do you want to be her friend (and ONLY her friend)? If so, hang out with her. If not, don’t. I like having a lot of friends and I have a lot of guy friends. I would probably say something similar to someone who asked me out if I wasn’t interested in them romantically (unless I was completely repulsed by the person, to which I’d just say no). Just be aware that hanging out with her is NOT a date and it will not turn into dating. If you’re not prepared for that then don’t do it. What I hate is male friends who hang out thinking you’ll change your mind about them. I have one really annoying male friend who messes up my game when we go out (I’m kidding. I don’t actually have any game ). He gets so irritated if guys talk to me. My male friends are free to (and encouraged to) talk to other women, and I'll try to help them out with this.
Author irc333 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Just be aware that hanging out with her is NOT a date and it will not turn into dating. If you’re not prepared for that then don’t do it. What I hate is male friends who hang out thinking you’ll change your mind about them. I have one really annoying male friend who messes up my game when we go out (I’m kidding. I don’t actually have any game ). He gets so irritated if guys talk to me. My male friends are free to (and encouraged to) talk to other women, and I'll try to help them out with this. Yeah, there's this one woman that broke up with a guy in our social circle about a year ago....since then, every guy in our group had been trying to ask her out, but she would pretty much FZ all of them. She had one guy in particular that would hang with her "hoping it would turn into something more" When they were at group outings, he would tend to hang around her a little TOO much, and kind of irritate, and she said that if she found a guy she liked, she didn't want that guy (or anyone else in the group) to think that she was DATING the guy she FZ'ed. She told her not to "Hang to close" at the outings. Basically told him to kinda back off and give the appearance that they are NOT a couple....but he was...eventually backed off....they're still good friends...she tends to get along with men better than woman, so she didn't consider him any kind of weird "stalker guy" who can't take no for an answer. She was able to handle him pretty well. Of course, her being in her late 40's helped, too. Young women get wierded out easily.
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