RuggedBoy2112 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Hi I am a 35 year old male. I just joined this community. My girlfriend of 2 years just told me she met someone else and cannot date me anymore. She was cheating on me, she admitted it. I loved this woman.I tried to treat her with respect. I took her out to nice restaurants, took her to Aruba,nice restaurants, bought her long stemmed roses regularly,too her shopping, and treated her with respect.We had good communication, we joked around together often and like a lot of the same interests in movies, books,etc. The guy she left me for is some guy that used to work with a close friend of mine.From what I know , He has been divorced twice already(He is around 45),drives a Harley Davidson and has several tatoos. and is going thru a mid life crisis.I am just heartbroken. I had the feeling she was cheating on me about a month ago.She cancelled a dinner date abruptly and said her cousin was in town. I had the suspicion she was lying.I never said anything, was too afraid she may be cheating. I feel sad now,lonely unloved. I feel very Angry at women right now. This happened to me when I was in high school the 10th grade, and my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with some loser "Burnout Bad Boy". I try to be a nice guy. I am considered at least fairly successful. I am an attorney(spent years building up my own practice), I work out regularly and jog to keep in shape. I have been told I am attractive and yet at 35 I am unable to find a woman to eventually marry and have kids. I want children and want to get married. I am so heartbroken.I feel cheated on,violated,unloved lonely,and rejected.A break up is hard thing. Anyone can give me input both girls and guys?Thanks
smudge21 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Sorry to hear this mate, there's really nothing worse than losing a loved one in a manner like this. I bet you're going all the usual symptoms, looking for reasons it happened and maybe even thinking how you could've changed things. Try not to do that, it won't help with your healing, which is what you need to do now. You'll get a lot of support on here but one thing you'll also realise is that you're not alone and many of us have gone through the same. Read some other threads, I find that helping others actually helps me. Finally don't start doubting yourself now just because of two experiences in your life. People change, even those we think we know so well. You made no mistakes so no blaming yourself for any of this. Go no contact now and work on healing - take some time for yourself and keep busy. It sounds like aside from this you have a great life, so don't this and what she's done ruin that. Things do always get better so keep posting and take on board what others say. Stay strong.
coltsfan1 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 You have got to try and do evrythng you can to work through this as soon as possible. I went through a similiar situation last year and I have done nothing to truly address the issue. Take some time and grieve, talk to someone professional, work out whatever issues you can, but truly try. If you do not make a 100% effort in correcting these issues you will look back and regret it. Please trust me I am 31 so we are close to the same age, I handled my situation completely wrong. So my advice is life learned.
Mcnulty Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 You're relating this to other break ups a long time ago..they're not linked, it's not you that's done anything wrong and there's nothing wrong with you! Sounds like you have a lot going for you...when you heal in time, you'll be snapped up, I guarantee it. It's about trying to put a positive spin on who you are, not others and taking it from there. Happiness comes from within, not from the actions of others.
sun_moon Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Wow you sound like a great catch, I say what's wrong with her for not seeing it. Hmmm..yeah too bad your all the way in NY lol I know its painful right now, but in time it does get easier. Think of it this way, if she was low enough to do that to you, sneak around, lie, cheat, etc. then her coming clean and walking away is good for you. I know you love her but at least you weren't married. She has just given you an opportunity to truly find your next mate, someone deserving of your time, effort, and emotions. Someone who wants the same things you do out of life. I completely relate to the bitterness and heartache, am way too familiar with it. I keep asking myself why do I keep getting "wronged" (cheaters...lairs) I am a nice woman, a lady, one with intelligence and integrity. Many days I feel/felt like giving up hope on a good honest man. It wasn't until I came to LS that I realized that it wasn't true, and good honest people do exist. Here I am reading people's stories, a wide range of them, and you know what they are not that much different from you and I. It will take time to find a quality person, but she's out there. Till then, take this time to heal and move past this painful time. The only way to do so is to push through the pain and allow yourself to grief. Get familiar with this site, its a huge support system and will be a great benefit to you. Welcome to LoveShack, post and read all you want, its all therapeutic for you.
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