chelle21689 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 So the guy and I finally made things official after seeing one another for 5 months. We were in Las Vegas for our friends' wedding and we were alone. He asked me shyly to be his gf and said that he never been close to anyone before, that he's never met anyone who could finish his sentences and think the same things at the same time. It's a weird thing cuz right after we were celebrating and then forgot we had to go to the bachelor and bachelorette party and had to separate...we were late. So we ended up going to strip clubs (girls and guys seperately) and our friends paid for lap dances and he ended up getting his first hangover and passed out. Way to start the relationship lol. Okay I'm rambling I'm just excited that he asked cuz I didn't think he'd ever ask. Well anyways, back to the point... what does the title change? I honestly feel a difference in how we treat each other as if things are more "solid" if that makes sense.
thatone Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) it's no longer him chasing you or you chasing him it's now 50/50, and both sides have to be a lot more understanding and accommodating of each other to keep it going. you can't ignore each other's communication for days at a time when you so choose as dating people do. you can't make each other the second or third or fourth priority anymore for scheduling things, your friends and his friends will be second in line to things that the two of you do together. you can forget about the notions of what you can say and not say while dating, everything should be pretty much open for discussion as time goes on regarding things like whether you both intend to stay where you currently live, whether you both intend to be in school or be working in the near to intermediate future, what your general opinions are on marriage and kids are (not necessarily with each other, talking years down the line with whoever), etc. just like in dating, there are times when you should discuss such things, some wait longer than others. just like you don't talk about your ex on a first date, you don't talk about marriage one month into a relationship, but all in due time, does that make sense? in short, you should know each other well enough as far as dating type things (hobbies, interests, schedules), now you graduate to discussing and doing relationship things (future plans, goals, opinions of long term relationships, etc.), and being a lot more honest/open with each other. 'solid' is a good word. you should be more comfortable with each other about all of the dating type things that are typically uncomfortable on the first few dates, because you know and trust each other more. if you look at the other posts on this forum of failing relationships there's a pretty common thread in them all. one side or the other (or both) can't transition from dating habits to relationship habits. it takes effort, understanding, a cooler head about disagreements, and fairness from both sides to keep things on the up and up. Edited August 1, 2011 by thatone
Author chelle21689 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Aw, the chase is the fun part! LOL but honestly I felt like that was over like 2 months ago and things seem to just fall into relationship mode. I do agree about the communication part...
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Does being official change anything besides exclusitivity? Yes, it gives you the green light to greatly increase your emotional investment IN your partner. It is from that emotional investment which you are going to garner most of the satisfaction you'll ever get from any relationship into which you ever enter. Can folks driving by look at your home and tell anything is different? - No!
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