GivenUp0083 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 So there's a girl that I've met a few times over the last 2 years or so (I see her maybe once a summer). She's a friend of a friend of a friend basically. I'm 28, I think she's 27. I saw her again last weekend and I got her number. The two friends I showed up to the bar with are a married couple, and she noticed me right away and we just started talking, about summer, how we see each other once a year, how fun we had in the past the couple times we hung out as a group, etc. When she went to grab a drink, I asked one of her friends what her situation was, she said she's single, then the guy friend I was with spilled the beans that I was crushin on her (he's such a douche sometimes ). It's all in good fun though. So after about an hour of us talking, I see her friends hugging my friends goodbye and I asked her if she was leaving. She said yeah we're heading to another bar. Then she said "you wanna come with?" I told her I would see what my friends are doing and she said she heard them say they're going home (it was late, like almost midnight). So I said, sure I'll go and got in a cab with her and 3 other girls to the next bar. Once we got to the next bar, they had some friends there and we took a couple shots and I bought her a drink and we talked some more. She talked about how she doesn't go out to bars much, just tonight because her friend is in town and I told her I much prefer going out to dinner with friends and rooftop parties rather than bars and she very much agreed. We talked about different restaurants, what part of town we live in, etc. Keep in mind, this was a loud bar so it was hard to hear some of the time. Anyway, I decided at 1:30am I was tired and I told her I had to be up early for baseball tomorrow so I was going to head out. She tells me "well hey, don't be a stranger, we should hang out again sometime". So I said "well how about you give me your number and I'll give you a call." She put her number in my phone and then I left. Here's my dilemma. Naturally I'd like to call her up, maybe talk on the phone a little bit, then ask her if she wants to grab dinner or do something fun (like a date). But my guy friend I was out with told me it might be better to wait a couple days to call and then ask her to come out to dinner with a group of friends some night. Says it won't be as much pressure on her with a group date. My concern about doing that is I want to be clear about my intentions that I'm interested in dating her. I don't want to lead her to believe I just want to be friends. Anyway, I don't know what I'll do. Just thought I'd see if there's any suggestions. Many of my dates the last few years were from online dating and I've always met one on one from those (obviously). Now that I'm done with OLD I need to know the best approach to the first meet after getting their number.
tigressA Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Ask her on a date. Be clear about your intentions. There doesn't have to be any 'pressure' while on a date.
Imajerk17 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Ask her to do something one-on-one. Try to come up with something more interesting (and less expensive) than "dinner" though. You already had a "group dinner" last time.
EasyHeart Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Here's my dilemma. Naturally I'd like to call her up, maybe talk on the phone a little bit, then ask her if she wants to grab dinner or do something fun (like a date). But my guy friend I was out with told me it might be better to wait a couple days to call and then ask her to come out to dinner with a group of friends some night. Says it won't be as much pressure on her with a group date.You're friend is a dumbass. Call her up, chat for a few minutes, then ask her to dinner. Easy peasy.
Finch Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 One more vote for call her up and ask her on a date. You're interested in her, not in being a new addition to her social circle. Show her you're interested by asking her on a date. Why waste time chatting with all her friends when you really want to be getting to know her? If you become an item that will happen later. Call her, brief chat, ask her out. It's not pressure, it's a date. A chance to get to know each other and see if there's chemistry.
Author GivenUp0083 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 I need a fun idea of something to do, either in place of or in addition to dinner. I've done the comedy show thing but it's summer out so I'd rather get outside....any ideas? I'm in downtown chicago...
EasyHeart Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Sheesh! Chicago is one of the easiest places in the world to go on a date! She's already told you she likes going out to dinner and rooftop parties, so take her to dinner at a nice (but not fancy) restaurant. If the weather is nice, take her somewhere where you can sit outside. Keep it short. One of the most common mistakes i see guys make is thinking that first dates have to be 8 hour marathons. Take her for a leisurely dinner, then take her home. Three hours -- MAX! The number one rule of first dates is: "Always leave her wanting more!"
Author GivenUp0083 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Sheesh! Chicago is one of the easiest places in the world to go on a date! She's already told you she likes going out to dinner and rooftop parties, so take her to dinner at a nice (but not fancy) restaurant. If the weather is nice, take her somewhere where you can sit outside. Keep it short. One of the most common mistakes i see guys make is thinking that first dates have to be 8 hour marathons. Take her for a leisurely dinner, then take her home. Three hours -- MAX! The number one rule of first dates is: "Always leave her wanting more!" Yeah I've been on a lot of first dates and I like to leave the end of it to be able to just sit and talk. If it goes well the time will fly without knowing it and I've had some really good first dates go as long as 6 hours. Otherwise you can cut it short and just have a nice short date out. Maybe I'll ask her to a restaurant that's near a park and we can go for a walk or something after. I'm already overthinking this so I should just shut up and give her a call tonight and stop building it up so much I need to remain in DGAF mentality so that if she doesn't respond or she's not interested then I won't care.
Casablanca Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Ask her on a date. Be clear about your intentions. There doesn't have to be any 'pressure' while on a date. This...I find it harder to bring a girl I am just dating with friends...I hate juggling between the two at first...so as tigressa said...no added pressure
Author GivenUp0083 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 This...I find it harder to bring a girl I am just dating with friends...I hate juggling between the two at first...so as tigressa said...no added pressure I'm still on the fence about this. I have RL friend telling me to have her meet me to have dinner/drinks with friends this wednesday, and everyone on here is saying to ask her on a one on one date... I'm leaning toward a one on one but I'm still not sure of a good idea for a one on one. Dinner might be too much too early.
sm1tten Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 How about dinner one-on-one, then drinks with friends? Or vice versa?
EasyHeart Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 I'm still on the fence about this. I have RL friend telling me to have her meet me to have dinner/drinks with friends this wednesday, and everyone on here is saying to ask her on a one on one date... I'm leaning toward a one on one but I'm still not sure of a good idea for a one on one. Dinner might be too much too early.We are smarter than your friend. Trust in the LoveShack. And how the **** can dinner be "too much"???
thatone Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) I'm still on the fence about this. I have RL friend telling me to have her meet me to have dinner/drinks with friends this wednesday, and everyone on here is saying to ask her on a one on one date... I'm leaning toward a one on one but I'm still not sure of a good idea for a one on one. Dinner might be too much too early. wtf too much too early? how the hell can a first date be too much too early?! it's the first one! if every other person was your friend we as a species would be extinct because no children would ever be born. you know how everyone says they are attracted to confident people? this is you failing at confidence. Edited August 1, 2011 by thatone
Author GivenUp0083 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Well this thread was a big waste of time. I called last night and no answer. Left a voicemail and never called back. Story of my life when it comes to asking for phone numbers. But it sure does feel nice to not care that much about it.
DuskCrush Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Definitely ask her out one-on-one. I can't believe your friend suggested a group date..aybe he wants to hit on her.
spiderowl Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Ask her out with just you and her, don't include the friends. I hate it when guys suggest I go along to something that's on or ask if I'm going to it. I never know if they are half asking me out or not. If they don't ask me out directly, then I treat it purely as a friends thing and would avoid letting them get too close. I don't like the ambiguity. If you want her, make it clear you are interested in getting to know her better.
grkBoy Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Take the risk and ask her out on a date. Asking her to hang with the friends will get you FZed. Take the risk and find out where you stand. She rejects you, then you saved yourself time. Imagine you two hang out several times as friends, laugh, joys, and then she suddenly starts dating one of your guy friends?
dispatch3d Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 "blablabla... friend tells her I am crushing on her blablabla...." Your "douche" friend is actually helping you a ton by telling her you are interested. Some guys are dicks about this stuff though, so I just don't tell anyone anything . "Anyway, I decided at 1:30am I was tired and I told her I had to be up early for baseball tomorrow so I was going to head out. She tells me "well hey, don't be a stranger, we should hang out again sometime". So I said "well how about you give me your number and I'll give you a call." She put her number in my phone and then I left. Here's my dilemma. blablabla" Call her. End of dilemna. If she doesn't answer leave a message. If she doesn't reply to the message, text her a few days later. If she doesn't reply to that, I'd let it slide.
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