resscress Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Im so broken right now. My fiancee who suppose to marry me just disappeared and i dont even know where he is right now. He didnt reply to my text or to all my messages. We dont really argue and i remember the last time we talk is, he even said we will talk again the next day. He hasnt call since then..And i dont even know if he is in trouble or he is ignoring me. I dont know. What should i do. Its more than 2 weeks now. Should i get worried? Or just wait till he text or email me back? We are having LDR right now coz his company posted him to another place ...:(:(
Lucky_One Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 If my fiance suddenly stopped talking and didn't return my messages or take my calls, then I would call his family to see if they had heard from him. If they had not, then I would call the police and file a missing person report. BUT I also believe that engagements are pretty serious events that have a huge level of commitment tied to them. OF COURSE your fiance is supposed to marry you, because that is what you have agreed to, together. I find sometimes that the generation younger than me tends to throw around the term engagement and fiance much more loosely than we did. Once engaged, families were informed, wedding plans were made, venues were booked, and a wedding took place within a year or so. So is your engagement a serious one with a wedding being planned, or is it one of those where you call each other fiance/fiancee with some vague plan of getting married one day but you aren't integrating into each other's families or making firm plans on a wedding?
Author resscress Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Yes our engagement is serious one because we informed everybody already and wedding has been planned. I have the feeling he is ignoring me. I dont think something happen to him because his mobile phone is ringing. And his family i never contacted them yet. i am still waiting if he is going to call me and text me back. thank you for the reply. If my fiance suddenly stopped talking and didn't return my messages or take my calls, then I would call his family to see if they had heard from him. If they had not, then I would call the police and file a missing person report. BUT I also believe that engagements are pretty serious events that have a huge level of commitment tied to them. OF COURSE your fiance is supposed to marry you, because that is what you have agreed to, together. I find sometimes that the generation younger than me tends to throw around the term engagement and fiance much more loosely than we did. Once engaged, families were informed, wedding plans were made, venues were booked, and a wedding took place within a year or so. So is your engagement a serious one with a wedding being planned, or is it one of those where you call each other fiance/fiancee with some vague plan of getting married one day but you aren't integrating into each other's families or making firm plans on a wedding?
HappyPanda Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Let me get this straight, You havent heard from your fiance in two weeks?!?! Is this "normal" behavior for him? Or is this completely out of character? I would be VERY worried if it were the later... You should contact his family or friends you might know just to make sure he's ok. And once you get a hold of him, he'd better have a DAMN good excuse... Although, Im no doormat, so two weeks with no contact or response is pretty inexcusable.
bluenightowl Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Im so broken right now. My fiancee who suppose to marry me just disappeared and i dont even know where he is right now. He didnt reply to my text or to all my messages. We dont really argue and i remember the last time we talk is, he even said we will talk again the next day. He hasnt call since then..And i dont even know if he is in trouble or he is ignoring me. I dont know. What should i do. Its more than 2 weeks now. Should i get worried? Or just wait till he text or email me back? We are having LDR right now coz his company posted him to another place ...:(:( well.. I think someone must know where he is at.. how close are you to his family.. that's the place to start. second.. I don't know.. but is it possible he is suffering anxiety about getting married? ... I know myself... people shutdown when there is just too much stress. he might really love you.. but is dealing with a lot of anxiety.. just a thought.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 How long is he supposed to be at this new place that his company posted him to? If my fiance suddenly stopped talking and didn't return my messages or take my calls, then I would call his family to see if they had heard from him. If they had not, then I would call the police and file a missing person report. BUT I also believe that engagements are pretty serious events that have a huge level of commitment tied to them. OF COURSE your fiance is supposed to marry you, because that is what you have agreed to, together. I find sometimes that the generation younger than me tends to throw around the term engagement and fiance much more loosely than we did. Once engaged, families were informed, wedding plans were made, venues were booked, and a wedding took place within a year or so. So is your engagement a serious one with a wedding being planned, or is it one of those where you call each other fiance/fiancee with some vague plan of getting married one day but you aren't integrating into each other's families or making firm plans on a wedding? I know what you mean! It pisses me off. My ex proposed to me and bought me a ring and everything, but only so he could call me "fiancee". Whenever I tried to plan our wedding it made him mad. It was ridiculous and it will make me feel incredulous if/when I'm proposed to in the future. Yes our engagement is serious one because we informed everybody already and wedding has been planned. I have the feeling he is ignoring me. I dont think something happen to him because his mobile phone is ringing. And his family i never contacted them yet. i am still waiting if he is going to call me and text me back. thank you for the reply. Just call the family! What can it hurt?
GG3 Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Are you afraid to call the family? Is he really controlling or something?
Forever Learning Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 He might be a ' Future Faker '. They like to disappear before the wedding approaches and it usually doesn't make a whole lot of sense. You can learn more about that stuff here: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/understanding-why-someone-fakes-a-future-with-you/ sorry about your situation and best of luck to you.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Are you afraid to call the family? Is he really controlling or something? Yea. If you guys are really that serious then calling the family should be no big deal.
musemaj11 Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 He came to his senses and asked himself, "WTF am I doing?"
Author resscress Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Thank you everyone for replying. I called his family and they said they didnt know that he never call me or text me. They told me that he went home and told them he is getting married soon and they had this bachelor's party before. They thought everything is going smoothly in our wedding plan. They didnt know he's not been texting or messaging or calling me. So i think he is ignoring me because its almost 3 weeks now. And we suppose to do the invitation and choose dress ect. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REPLIES. IM SORRY FOR SHARING THIS HERE I AM JUST SO LOST AND very very sad. And i dont know what to do..
Author resscress Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) Have they heard from him? Yes they did.. They didnt know all about what he is up to. They thought were both busy preparing for the wedding... Edited August 2, 2011 by resscress
Author resscress Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 I just dont know if im going to break up with him.. I dont know if im going to hate him for what he is doing....
bluenightowl Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 I just dont know if im going to break up with him.. I dont know if im going to hate him for what he is doing.... Only you know, but think carefully here. He is something.. scared.. doesn't want to get married.. who knows... you must talk to him and find out.. I'm know you are in love, but listen carefully because you might have 50 years with him and this isn't starting out in a fairy tale way. If that's you picture, you are a beautiful woman and clearly want a committed relationship. That's two big plus's for you whom many many men desire.
Author resscress Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Only you know, but think carefully here. He is something.. scared.. doesn't want to get married.. who knows... you must talk to him and find out.. I'm know you are in love, but listen carefully because you might have 50 years with him and this isn't starting out in a fairy tale way. If that's you picture, you are a beautiful woman and clearly want a committed relationship. That's two big plus's for you whom many many men desire. Thank you. I just hope he will at least tell me goodbye so i dont keep waiting here. I tried to call him many times but he never pick up the phone or he doesnt reply to my emails and text... Does men tends to just go like that without breaking up personally?
D-Lish Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 It's obvious the idea of a wedding isn't sitting right with him anymore. He's being a coward not being able to talk to you about it.
Author resscress Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 It's obvious the idea of a wedding isn't sitting right with him anymore. He's being a coward not being able to talk to you about it. Thank you. I will wait a few days more and if he doesnt talk to me still then ill forget about the wedding and deal with the embarrassment he brought to me and to my family.. Its not easy but life goes on for me... Thank you all!!
D-Lish Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 What are the circumstances between the two of you? Was this an arranged marriage, an internet relationship, how did you guys meet?
Author resscress Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 What are the circumstances between the two of you? Was this an arranged marriage, an internet relationship, how did you guys meet? What i mean in embarrassment is, he called everyone in my family to tell them about the wedding ect.. Its not an arranged marriage or anything else.. Its just that family and relative knows we are getting married on this date but he is no where and he doesnt even talk to me. Its not an internet thing.Now what im going to deal is, i dont know how am i going to tell my family and relatives that he is not contacting me anymore for 3 weeks now. Thanks
Professor X Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 So like, you called his family, they said they didn't know he didn't contact you for 2-3 weeks now, and than what? You hang up? Didn't you ask them to put him on the phone? Go nag them, tell them you demand some answers! If he's there and they don't wanna let him speak to you, than you know for sure it's over, otherwise you can either push hard or forget about it (if it's not that important to you). Also, how long have you 2 been together? How old are you anyway?
Enchanted Girl Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Thank you. I will wait a few days more and if he doesnt talk to me still then ill forget about the wedding and deal with the embarrassment he brought to me and to my family.. Its not easy but life goes on for me... Thank you all!! I suggest that you leave a message telling him that you're canceling the wedding unless he calls you and then cancel the wedding. Don't spend any more money on it and get back as much money as you can!
Hot Chick Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Can you show up to his parents' house? You said he went home to his parents', right? I think this warrants stopping by in person. I mean this man is your fiance, so you should go see what is going on!
Enchanted Girl Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Tell him also in a message that you just want him to call you and if he wants to end the wedding or relationship, its okay, but you need to know NOW so no more money is wasted.
Hot Chick Posted August 3, 2011 Posted August 3, 2011 Oh I'm sorry, I read in your original post that you are in a LDR with your fiance. Do you think he might have lost his job and is embarrassed to admit that to you?
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