without Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 My friend has broken up with her bf about a few weeks ago.She seemed so sad and all,but all of a sudden she's dating someone and they filled eachother's Facebook pages with i love yous and etc. Doesn't it sound a little strange?I mean it's a month since i have broken up with my bf ,but I still feel like cheating even thinking about it! What do you think?
carhill Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Some would opine the best way to get over one man is to get under another man. Perhaps that method is compatible with your friend's psychology. Apparently you think and feel a bit differently. This is normal. All humans are different.
dreamscape123 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 My friend has broken up with her bf about a few weeks ago.She seemed so sad and all,but all of a sudden she's dating someone and they filled eachother's Facebook pages with i love yous and etc. Doesn't it sound a little strange?I mean it's a month since i have broken up with my bf ,but I still feel like cheating even thinking about it! What do you think? Well my ex and i split up after nearly 2 years together, and within a week she started seeing some new guy.... Very hurtful from my point of view... Made me wonder what she thought about the last 2 years.... She then mailed me telling me she would love me for ever but her head was a mess and could not be with me.... Rebounds are a common thing, and most of the time dont work out.. but who knows eh....... Like i say, very hurtful to be on the receiving end of it..... and watch the person you love just go off with someone else like that....
radiodarcy Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 different people handle break ups differently. some people immediately jumping into a rebound, like your friend did; other people take the time to heal and reflect. in my humble opinion the latter is probably the healthier option. but to each their own, i suppose.
antinko Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Yeh, my ex went straight into a rebound (or three? lol) and she was fine with that. Me? Ok, I was the dumpee so had the shock of the loss to get over, but even when I experimented with dating another person, it just felt wrong... So it depends on the person really. Personally, I think going straight into a rebound is quite shallow, but that's just me. I've turned people down in the past post-break up simply because I felt there should be a bit of time before going into a new relationship, but that's just my outlook. Some would say that I'm denying myself, but the idea of rebounds just don't sit well with me... As you said, feels like cheating.
radiodarcy Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Yeh, my ex went straight into a rebound (or three? lol) and she was fine with that. Me? Ok, I was the dumpee so had the shock of the loss to get over, but even when I experimented with dating another person, it just felt wrong... So it depends on the person really. Personally, I think going straight into a rebound is quite shallow, but that's just me. I've turned people down in the past post-break up simply because I felt there should be a bit of time before going into a new relationship, but that's just my outlook. Some would say that I'm denying myself, but the idea of rebounds just don't sit well with me... As you said, feels like cheating. yeah - - this is why i have a tendency to steer clear of anyone showing an interest in me - - if i know they're just coming out of a relationship. it's just as damaging (if not more so) to be used as someone's rebound as it is to go looking for one.
Casablanca Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 My friend has broken up with her bf about a few weeks ago.She seemed so sad and all,but all of a sudden she's dating someone and they filled eachother's Facebook pages with i love yous and etc. Doesn't it sound a little strange?I mean it's a month since i have broken up with my bf ,but I still feel like cheating even thinking about it! What do you think? Dating is one things, dropping I love yous is another....I bet she is in high school isnt she?
Author without Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Dating is one things, dropping I love yous is another....I bet she is in high school isnt she? Nope,she's an university student,third year.
Casablanca Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Nope,she's an university student,third year. That is kind of scary IMO
ScienceGal Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 It's superficial and only providing an immediate and temporary high/good feeling. Sometimes people can live off those feelings and just jump from person to person. Every so often they might find someone to have a relationship with, but if it doesn't work out, then bam! They're back in the saddle again! Like many others have posted, I could never do that. It doesn't support healing and decreases the chances of moving on to a healthy relationship. But to each their own is right. Depends on what the end result is that she is looking for.
skibum Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 That is kind of scary IMO Scary how my ex was dropping the I love you's with her new bf literally one month after breaking up with me after 5.5 years? O and she is 24 years old and a grad student. It can be anyone lol
D-Lish Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 My gf has been in a relationship for her entire life- she goes from one person to the next immediately. She says she hates being alone- it's sad really because how can you ever truly get to know yourself when you're always defining yourself through having a partner.
thelovingkind Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 One option post-break up is to reflect, learn and quietly renew your sense of self and the other is to run off into the whistles and fireworks of a new love. I've done it both ways and the first option is far, far superior. I simply don't envy anyone who doesn't take that time after a relationship to go back to the drawing board and rebuild themselves. After a particularly bad relationship there might be a lot of work to be done and after a healthy relationship it might just be more a matter of allowing a few weeks to look around, look inside and take stock of where things are at, but either way it's such a useful time. When I used to see someone - dumper or dumpee - run off quickly into a new fling, I'd feel envy and frustration: How can things fall into place so easily for them? But now I feel pity, because instead of confronting these issues they're just pushing them further down the line so that everything concertinas up into a massive identity crisis. The old adage is always true: slow and steady wins the race!
bluenightowl Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 My friend has broken up with her bf about a few weeks ago.She seemed so sad and all,but all of a sudden she's dating someone and they filled eachother's Facebook pages with i love yous and etc. Doesn't it sound a little strange?I mean it's a month since i have broken up with my bf ,but I still feel like cheating even thinking about it! What do you think? well.. she might have had him lined up for a while.. or she is rebounding.. one of the two IMHO. More important... you are thinking about your bf.. you need to stop that.. and f.. him.. that's your challenge.
Author without Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 well.. she might have had him lined up for a while.. or she is rebounding.. one of the two IMHO. More important... you are thinking about your bf.. you need to stop that.. and f.. him.. that's your challenge. Loved your answer.
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