darran Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) So we've been broke up for 10 months now... generally we kept in touch the entire time until around 6-8 weeks ago where I just started to blatantly ignore my ex and any contact from her. I've changed my mobile (she did the same) number, house phone etc, everything basically. One day (just before I started ignoring her) I'm working away and up pops a friend request on Skype, my ex asks to be accepted. I accept her. The reason being I owe her some money so she wanted to ask about it.... bare in mind she told me to forget about that money and not worry about it. So I did, naturally, I found it rather strange she would go back on her word... Anyway, she's been with this guy (I considered a rebound) and I helped her prolong this rebound (possibly forced her further into his arms) by always maintaining contact and making a big issue out her being with him. Things have not been going to well for her and this rebound guy. In fact, according to a few friends they are going down hill fast and she has started kind of distancing herself from him. So for the last 6-8 weeks I have been receiving, pretty much daily... constant IM's... yes I am not 100% over her and 50/50 on what is going on and not sure how to deal with this, I do want (always have done) her back ...some were cheeky, some just nonsense... either way I received these constantly until I just told her to please leave me alone. Until she admits to me a couple of things she should have admitted to, is single and ready to talk PLEASE leave me alone. So that was taken care of for about 1 week and again I started getting the IM's again... only this time I was getting different messages. Again, I told her after many contacts from her to just leave me alone (I didn't block her, I know I should but I didn't) Anyway, last Thursday I finally gave in and we talked! On Skype, she never mentioned him at all and neither did I. SHE brought up the past relationship we had together, why it went to crap, why she was scared etc and many different reasons and I told her... you rushed so fast into the arms of another you never even gave us a chance to speak over what we are talking about now!!! You were foolish <exname>. She agreed etc and I told her straight "you told me to forget about that money I owed you so I did. I think until you sort yourself out and know what you want please just leave me be". I get another message the next day! Just small talk, I didn't reply... and then the following day I get another and I replied: "I don't hate you and we've not fallen out... but I'd prefer you never contacted me again until you have sorted yourself out properly. It'll be the best thing you could do for yourself right now! I'm genuinely over what happened between us (I am no longer angry). There are still things we definitely should talk about, but that all depends on what you do now and truly want for the long term, like your long term because I really don't want anything to do with you again. Unless it's anything short of "******, I'm single and would you like to talk" just leave it and forget about me for good." I have not heard a thing; its not that which worries me... its the nature of this sudden interest which is nothing really, its all still crumbs. Please guys, I went through a living bloody nightmare getting to the point I'm at now and honestly, I'm just stuck on what is going on in her head and what way to deal with this. Thanks Edited August 1, 2011 by darran
betterdeal Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) Sounds like you said something very clear and definite there. You're probably as dumbstruck as she is by how clear and how definite that last statement was. Up to know, things have been ambiguous between you, and you (be honest) have been kidding yourself a bit. But now you've said it straight, forthright and honestly, you know you can't really kid yourself any more. This is it. You two have now really split up. No more excuses. Let go. It takes time to grow and change in significant ways and if you have to think about "maybe" think in terms of years not weeks or months. It will take years to change (her or you or both of you). So, in the meantime, find other things to fill your time. You have a couple of years to fill. Do it. And well done for drawing things to a close! Edited August 1, 2011 by betterdeal
Author darran Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 well... just found out 1 hour ago that the rebound and my ex have been over for the last 2 weeks. 100% finished! Now this contact is beginning to make sense
Mcnulty Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 You need to ask yourself, why did you accepot her friend request after what she did. What were you really hoping for doing this? Her relationship has gone tits up, she's reaching out to what she knows...you...a comfort blanket and possible ego stroke. Don't be pulled back in. you went through hell...do you want to go through it all again? She knows your feelings, but that is what you have expressed to her...I get the feeling you still have hope for you and her...be very careful and good luck.
Author darran Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 Thanks guys, I think you are 100% bang on the money. I do have hope and yes I know for sure I have to be very very careful here. I honestly am 50/50 on completely blanking her.
Author darran Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 not a good look taking someone like that back... **** I could tell you some mad stuff she did but I honestly cant find the energy to think of it any longer. I think I am probably a lucky guy in the end. What goes around certainly comes around! Apparently she is booted out along with the dog they bought!!!!!!
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