staticline Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, I am 23 and he is 25. We have had a happy relationship although recently I have felt frustrated that there are no signs of us moving forward. I have mentioned moving in together in the past but he said that although he would like to do this eventually, he would like to wait until I have finished my studies so that we can buy a house together rather than rent, this will be another 2 years. I have also lived in many different parts of the country and have stated a desire to live with him some place else at home or abroad, an idea he resisted stating that he could not consider moving away, something I could understand entirely. However, more recently his job in industry has come under threat. He told me that he has been looking at other vacancies in the area as he would like to secure a job. Then I bumped into him and his friend on a night out last night. I was talking to one of my own friends about her plans to move away and stated that in an ideal world I'd like to move away but my boyfriend wouldn't so I couldn't see it happening. At this point my boyfriend's friend interjected (my boyfriend was away at the bar) "actually you should ask him, cause he's been telling me for months he hopes he loses his job so he can move away" ?!?!?!? Am I to take this as a clue I'm wasting my time with this guy? Should I confront my boyfriend about this? Any input on this would be really appreciated
charasbb Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 I wouldn't quit so fast, but you guys definitely need to sit down and have a chat. I would say something like "hey lately I've felt a little confused about what you want from us and your life. I know you said you're looking at job vacancies, but what exactly does that entail (moving away, staying)" Something alone those lines, just to open up the dialogue maybe he doesn't quite know what he wants and that's why he's telling you one thing and his buddy another. If he's unsure about his job, his living location or even your relationship , you need to know so you can decide what you want to do. I think it's also a good time to think about what you want and see if he can or is ready to fulfill those desires. It sounds like your relationship is at a crossroad and you guys need to talk honestly about where you both are and what you both want, this may lead to a break up or you could find out something you had no clue was going on his head! Just make sure to do whatever keeps you happy!
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