lastresort Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 In the last 6 weeks or so i have been hanging out with an amazing girl. We see each other a couple of times a week and things are going great. She has not let me kiss her but we have been flirting and having a good time. She will even take my hand and hold it. We have so much in common like no other girl i have ever met. We talked about taking our relationship further but she will not allow it until my divorce is final, which isn't until mid October. She said she doesn't want to be with a married man. I'm worried that if we just keep hanging out and having a good time with no contact that i will fall into the "friends" category. I told her I respect her for this and understand, it is weird to find a girl with morals like this. I think she worried that she would be a "rebound" for me... Not sure what i should do. Should I keep hanging out with her or should I just let her go and when my divorce is final see where she stands with me? Why can't life just be simple, I didn't ask for a divorce, just sucks that our timing is off like this.
wilsonx Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 It is simple... keep hanging out... dont ever let someone you are having fun with go... dont push it either... the no contact (her rules) will eventually fade away as you keep building attraction and having fun with her. Just keep being yourself with her and having fun. You kind of have to build up for a kiss, if you haven't taken her hand yet thats a good place to start. You said she's taken yours but you should be leading with actions and not words. Take your time though. You have the rest of your life to get this right Good luck =)
willowthewisp Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 I can totally relate to this. I too have met a nice guy who is very recently seperated and has not begun his divorce yet. He has told me he is keen on me but I have told him we need to be friends as I cannot be someones rebound, I have been hurt enough by my own ex and I need to think with my head. I am really hoping that in time when he is healed and has moved on from his wife that we can date, but who knows, in the mean time I just like hanging out with him as a friend. I too will not date a seperated man, I understand your friends morals in this regard, it just feels wrong in my opinion. I know that it must be frustrating for you and seem extremely unfair as you were not the one who intiated the divorce, but if you really like this girl, I would urge you to respect her boundaries and not push the issue. October is not that far away and the best relationships are built upon friendship first anyway. I would keep seeing her and having fun, I doubt very much you will be relegated to the friends zone, she clearly likes you romantically but has principles and personally I think in todays world that is a very good thing.
Author lastresort Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 thank to both of you. This girl is amazing. We have great talks and we both feel like we are the same person. I feel i can just be myself with her as she can too. I do not pressure her, too much, as i respect her for not wanting to push too quickly and possibly ruin something good. I have taken her hand, we've snuggled watching movies, we've even been camping with our kids (before we realized there was attraction) we slept in separate tents. She is going through a crazy custody battle right now and going to court today, I'm watching her son while she is there and then knowing it will be a draining day, we made plans for me to cook dinner for us.
linwood Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Tell her this.... I'm worried that if we just keep hanging out and having a good time with no contact that i will fall into the "friends" category. Then don`t let anything stall the finalizing of the divorce.
hopesndreams Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 In the last 6 weeks or so i have been hanging out with an amazing girl. We see each other a couple of times a week and things are going great. She has not let me kiss her but we have been flirting and having a good time. She will even take my hand and hold it. We have so much in common like no other girl i have ever met. We talked about taking our relationship further but she will not allow it until my divorce is final, which isn't until mid October. She said she doesn't want to be with a married man. I'm worried that if we just keep hanging out and having a good time with no contact that i will fall into the "friends" category. I told her I respect her for this and understand, it is weird to find a girl with morals like this. I think she worried that she would be a "rebound" for me... Not sure what i should do. Should I keep hanging out with her or should I just let her go and when my divorce is final see where she stands with me? Why can't life just be simple, I didn't ask for a divorce, just sucks that our timing is off like this. What is bolded speaks volumes! Do yourself and your new lady love a favour. Call it a day and see what happens in a few months time. And yes, you are well on your way to being just a "friend" of hers, if you aren't already. When a woman really "likes" a guy, she will kiss him, at the very least. Yes, she has morals and scruples, which is hard to find in this day and age BUT that is also a red flag for you, sorry. A kiss does not constitute immoral behaviour, in my opinion, and that comes from a God fearing woman.
Author lastresort Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 I hear what you are saying with the bold. I have gone through some therapy and about 2 months ago hit a spot where i realized i had moved on. I don't know what it was, maybe going out and meeting new people and remembering that i was actually a good guy and people still enjoyed being around me. Before that i sat in the dark all night and ate ice cream. I Met my new girl through her sister who used to work for me. we met at a local watering hole and she told me her sister was coming down, I hadn't seen her sister in about 6 years, when i photographed her wedding, I didn't know she had gotten divorced as well. Just one thing led to another and we are now moving to where we are now. I cooked dinner for us all last night and we had a wonderful time. Our conversation went to our relationship and she said she can't wait for my D to be final and of course tells me great things are worth waiting for. I responded by calling her a tease!!! And we laughed. We have the same sense of humor and we just have a great time. Headed to the beach with her and the boys today. Will be fun.
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