My ex is pissing me off!

[Paige1377]

So over five weeks ago my ex of six years had myself and my daughter leave our shared house and we relocated temporarily to stay with family. In the beginning I was so sad, and wanted him back. We split bc I was suffocating him, thought he was cheating bc he was texting a woman behind my back. I found out two weeks after the split this woman was sending pics of herself to him, but that's besides the point. I care if he's dating her but frankly it's not my business anymore.

 

Anyways, we didn't set up custody bc we had discussed taking a couple months apart to explore other options. I thought the breakup was us taking space to be better for each. However, his idea was he was free, could do whoever he wanted and party, which I didn't find out until I moved out. Since I left I have been trying for five weeks to get it set up where he pays a certain amount every two weeks for our eleven month old, but he has botched it. First time account was overdrawn and he used my babies money on some girl he took out of town five days after we left. Second time he said I wasn't supposed to take money out but never communicated that and got pissed bc he came to visit and bought her a bunch of crap like toys when she needed diapers and formula. Needless to say I returned them for stuff she actually needed.

 

Now I want to do child support, that way I can just take it out his check, but if I do child support he will file custody. The custody case has jurisdiction in Texas so I would have to drive 12 hours just to do court cases plus his mom is rich and would hire a lawyer and could possibly make it so we have to share her 50/50. My ex drinks and smokes weed and works 14 hour days...my daughter doesn't need that. Plus he kicked us out without money or a car, so I really couldn't be driving down to Texas over custody.

 

My ex is a control freak, he is making this all very difficult even though he did the breaking up and he's pissed I took his child so far away but there were no other options. Now, one issue as well is the fact I still love my ex and I still somedays want him back so we don't have to do this ****. he knows this, he came up last weekend to see my daughter and said he thinks everyday of us coming back but doesn't want to fight.

 

After he left this weekend I was done, I couldn't watch him leave again when I still love him so I let him know that I was moving on, that even though I loved him I had to be strong for our daughter and he's just a distraction from rebuilding my life. I sent him an email asking him to finally work with me to get these support payments set up for our daughter he didn't respond for three days bc he told me from the beginning he wouldn't do email. I sent him texts over it, once again no response. Today I got fed up, called and he tells me that he wants to dd the money into an account for me and that I keep calling him. I said the only reason I ever call you is for her, you know that. Every time I have to talk to him on the phone my stomach sinks, I get real bad anxiety and my hand starts shaking. I don't trust the dd into my account bc then he would have my account information.

 

So, we hung up bc he said he was working, I started pacing, pissed. He is deliberately refusing to work with me and I don't get why. I think he just doesn't care anymore and wants me to be miserable. I call him back, and calmly explain to him that this needs to be done asap, that this is important and he says why. I told him I can't handle the anxiety and he says why...and I said you know why...bc it's hard as he'll talking to someone you love when they don't want you...I didn't say that but he knows what I meant. I said I just want to move on, and then he says I don't read your texts anymore, so you just gotta call me.

 

****, I don't get him at all...he knows I am moving on and I wish to he'll I could do no contact but can't bc of our daughter and yet he wants me to communicate the only way that hurts me. Every time I talk to him on the phone afterwards I cry and am depressed for a couple hours bc he doesn't say what I want him to say.

 

So what are your thoughts? Think he is just ****ing with me bc he can, or that he is trying to keep me from moving on? I have asked him so many times just to get this wrapped up, but he's adamant about being difficult and I am to the point now where I just want to block his number, force him to do email when he gets desperate, not have him pay anything and then when I move closer so he can see her more go fir custody and then get my back child support.

 

I honestly emotionally cant do this, I know he is probably dating someone, I have told him I don't want to know anything except about his daughter. I try not to let him affect me, but ****, I am still tender, he's moved on but I am still trying to get past this crap and rebuild for my daughter.

[Paige1377]

Another tidbit is I have only called him once at work and he ignored the call. Today he answered twice, when usually he ignores the call. I don't think it's anything, could just be he's trying to get this over as well, but he said he would call me later tonight to discuss it. I don't plan for him to call, but it seems weird to me that he answered at all, he never answers at work.