xxHollyxx Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 How much dating is too much? I have been single for the past couple of months. I am slowly but surely getting over my ex. Since I have been single I have met a lot of new people. With that comes new men..... Sometimes attractive men approach me. If I feel they are decent and genuine I will give them my number. (For some reason I have met many nice guys...It must be something in the air!) Anyway, this guy will text me and then we will go out for dinner and something will happen inside me. All of a sudden I get bored or upset as I am thinking about how it felt when I first met my ex.. I don’t show this side to my date of course. Instead I act happy and cheerful! Every date I have gone on since I met the most recent guy has been maybe just two or three meetings. Then I end it as it hasn’t felt right with any of them so far. Then next week happens and the same thing starts again! I have been dating the same guy now for a couple of weeks but I don’t feel anything for him anymore. Since I have met him I have been approached by other men. And I don’t know if I should end it with him and continue my dating spree. Or should I just stop. I feel life is about taking chances and trying new this. I want to be open minded when it comes to dating!? Is this healthy behaviour? Will these string of dates damage my opinions of dating somehow? When I first meet the guy I feel there could be a connection so I give it a shot..... (((((Ps: I don’t sleep with any of these men. I have not yet been physical with any guy apart from my ex and am saving that for someone serious. So I am not asking about the sexual aspect. Just the psychological aspect!)))))))
Ruby Slippers Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 All of a sudden I get bored or upset as I am thinking about how it felt when I first met my ex.. I don’t show this side to my date of course. Instead I act happy and cheerful! So you're faking it, and not being honest with yourself or your date. You're not ready to date again, and you're wasting your time and your date's time. I suggest you take a break and be on your own for a while, until you are genuinely excited about meeting someone new.
Professor X Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 So you're faking it, and not being honest with yourself or your date. You're not ready to date again, and you're wasting your time and your date's time. I suggest you take a break and be on your own for a while, until you are genuinely excited about meeting someone new. I agree. You are definitely not read to date again.
Sanman Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 agreed. You are wasting your time and the time/money of these nice guys. You are not over your ex.
Author xxHollyxx Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 I don't let them pay for my dates! If they buy me dinner I will buy them a drink or two after, plus I will pay my way next date. This is how I was raised and I don't think a man should have to pay. It is not the 1950's.. Of course I expect him to be polite and act like a gentleman but not to pay for everything!!!!! I try so hard to fully get over my ex and I heard the best way is to get out there and meet new people! This is what I am doing.... It feels like its something I should do....I do need the confidence and I need to see there are other men apart from my ex... But at the same time it never makes me really happy once I get home... I am wondering if anyone else has tried this as a way to move on? Did it work?
Author xxHollyxx Posted August 1, 2011 Author Posted August 1, 2011 All you guys said that I should get over my ex first!! I do agree and see this point!!! But I think it will take a year at least. Do I just not go on a date even if I think I could like the guy? Is it harmful? I am asking this as I really want advice! My friends give me mixed advice so I am seeking unbiased advice from people in/were in this situation.
GivenUp0083 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 All you guys said that I should get over my ex first!! I do agree and see this point!!! But I think it will take a year at least. Do I just not go on a date even if I think I could like the guy? Is it harmful? I am asking this as I really want advice! My friends give me mixed advice so I am seeking unbiased advice from people in/were in this situation. You have a right to go out on dates if men take you out. They know the risk that you may not be interested, just so long as you do not lead them on further or allow them to do TOO much for you, which it sounds like you're being fair about that. However, what you're doing is a just a little bit selfish. You aren't over your ex and you've created a standard of feeling and chemistry for these men that they cannot match. You are thinking about how your ex made you feel, when in reality you are going to feel differently about different men. Maybe your recent breakup is still numbing you to feeling that way about someone else because your ex is still in your mind. I would stop dating. Have fun, enjoy hanging out with friends. If a guy does ask you out I would say this "I would love to go out to dinner with you, however I just want to warn you that I've recently gotten out of a relationship and I'm not ready for anything serious". This lets him know what he's up against and he can then decide if he still wants to go out with you or not. I think that would be the most fair option for you and for the guy that asks you on a date.
musemaj11 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 I don't let them pay for my dates! If they buy me dinner I will buy them a drink or two after, plus I will pay my way next date. This is how I was raised and I don't think a man should have to pay. It is not the 1950's.. Of course I expect him to be polite and act like a gentleman but not to pay for everything!!!!! I try so hard to fully get over my ex and I heard the best way is to get out there and meet new people! This is what I am doing.... It feels like its something I should do....I do need the confidence and I need to see there are other men apart from my ex... But at the same time it never makes me really happy once I get home... I am wondering if anyone else has tried this as a way to move on? Did it work? Okay then, as long as you are being fair and not taking advantage of the men you are going on dates with, I see no problem with what you are doing.
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