Diatribes Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 (edited) My girlfriend left me on July 21st. 5 days later, I saw her and had the break up chat. I told her I agreed with her decision to move out and that I had no animosity, even though she kind of left me in a bad spot, being that she was my source of transportation. My license is suspended at the moment. The day after I saw her, she texted me saying she was "sorry for how things rolled out" and thanked me for what I had done for her and her son. I replied that there was no hard feelings on my end and would like to be her friend still. I also told her I was going to join a gym and start working out, to which she never replied and neither did I. 3 days after that text, I sent her a text asking her if she would be interested in meeting for lunch sometime next week, to which she replied "idk i have to see how busy i am" and we also texted about some minor medical issue she's having. I wish I had never sent her that text asking her to lunch, as it was only a week since she left me. Even though I do want her back in my life. My dilemma is, she was going to take me to a court appearance regarding my license on August 10th. Even with her saying that she wouldn't do anything for me after she left, she did say she was going to bring me to this court appearance. I would have to contact her prior to this date to confirm that ride, but this will have put us at about 2 weeks of no contact. Should I still let her give me this ride? And what should I do if she decides to meet me for lunch next week? Thanks for the help. I'm kind of emotionally challenged right now and question my own judgement. *Edit. I also want to point out that I want her back. So I'm doing the no contact thing to try and get her to miss me. While I do miss her, I haven't told her I miss her since she left. She hasn't told me she misses me either. Edited July 31, 2011 by Diatribes
betterdeal Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 If it is at all possible, get to court by some other means. When you split up with someone, the best thing to do is get on with your life without them. The only reasons to maintain any connection is if you have financial ties or children. You don't have those complications so thank your lucky stars and disconnect. Why? Because you have split up. You are not a couple any more. And when two people split up there are wounds. Disconnecting helps the wounds heal. Meeting up too soon picks at the scabs and you will feel like sh*t for longer. Imagine how bad you feel now, and feeling that bad for longer than necessary. Do you want to feel that bad? That lost, confused, hurt? No, of course you don't! So, do what may seem counter-intuitive and stop making excuses to see your ex. Give yourself time to feel better. You two have split up. If you depend on her for anything, you will be hurting yourself.
SillyS Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 I have to be honest here though. I might be a woman, but when my ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago, I have been devastated. I'm heartbroken, crying, feeling like crap all the time. You seem more concerned with your dependency on her in other ways, and engaging in relationship politics. Are you upset by this break up at all? If you are or are not, you need to respect her decision to not help you in those ways and really try to move on from this stage of your life. Take a cab, walk to the bus stop and take a bus if you have to or walk to the court house. It doesn't matter, she is being nice to you obviously, but separate yourself from her. Tough love but really just stop, no lunch or rides!
Author Diatribes Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 I have to be honest here though. I might be a woman, but when my ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago, I have been devastated. I'm heartbroken, crying, feeling like crap all the time. You seem more concerned with your dependency on her in other ways, and engaging in relationship politics. Are you upset by this break up at all? If you are or are not, you need to respect her decision to not help you in those ways and really try to move on from this stage of your life. Take a cab, walk to the bus stop and take a bus if you have to or walk to the court house. It doesn't matter, she is being nice to you obviously, but separate yourself from her. Tough love but really just stop, no lunch or rides! I am really hurt and sad by her leaving me. I was/am in love with her. I wrote a lengthy post about this in a separate thread, and wanted to focus on my NC issue in this one. Yes, I am definitely upset by this break up. I'm hoping she'll want to reconcile with me. I wish to do so with her, and started this post to get help when/if I should contact her.
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